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My tongue flicked over my bottom lip as my dick peered up at me. “I know buddy. I miss her too.” I washed my hair and soaped up, attempting to deflate the major hard-on I had. I realized it was a stress reaction, not to mention I was used to making love to River all the time. I missed her so goddamned badly. Before a big football game, I’d always spent my evenings leading up to the big day fucking my brains out in the Master’s Playroom at 4 Play.
I closed my eyes. Images of River on her knees with her lips wrapped around my cock flitted through my mind.
She glanced up at me, water clinging to her eyelashes as her tongue swirled around the tip. River’s hand glided up my shaft as she took me into her mouth. I moaned as I hit the back of her throat.
“Baby,” I said, gripping her hair. She licked and teased me until I was about to explode, then she sucked on my balls. She continued to work my cock, and I planted my palms against the sides of the shower, losing myself in the sensation.
“Do you like that?” River asked, her innocence making me nearly come.
“Yeah.” I parted my legs as she continued.
In one quick move, I gently grabbed her beneath her arms and helped her stand, then I faced her away from me. “Bend over,” I ordered.
She steadied and positioned herself. I growled as her pink pussy called to me. I ran my fingers over her sweet, wet slit. “I want to fuck you so hard.”
She whimpered her response.
I reached between her thighs, rubbing her swollen bud. I knelt, exploring every part of her sensitive flesh. She quivered beneath my mouth as I shoved my tongue deep inside her and wrapped my fingers around my shaft. I grinned and then sucked her clit hard when I saw her watching me stroke myself.
River’s legs began to tremble, and I stood. I pushed against her entrance with the head of my cock, then slid into her nice and slow. Moving my hips in slow circles, I moaned her name as her core clenched around me.
“Holden,” she gasped. She pressed her palm against the side of the shower, and I picked up momentum, thrusting deep inside of her.
“You feel so fucking amazing, baby.” I gripped her hips, digging my fingers into her flesh before I massaged her clit. My pace quickened, and River pushed her ass against me.
“Harder,” she cried. “Fuck me harder!”
Her slick pussy tightened around me, and I thrust into her, our cries muffled by the sound of the shower. River’s climax peaked my own, and I shuddered against her.
Once I’d recovered, I planted light kisses along her back before I pulled out. I gently turned her around and cupped her cheeks with my hands. “I love you, River. Don’t ever doubt it.” I kissed her, pouring my heart into it.
“And I love you, baby,” she said softly.
I leaned my head against the shower, my dick still screaming at me. Grabbing the soap, I lathered up and began stroking my shaft. River loved seeing me jerk off. She’d spread her legs and fuck herself with the vibrator. Her back would arch, her tits screaming for me to put my mouth on them. Watching her always made me lose my shit in record time.
My body tensed with a final stroke as I came. It was more than a physical release. It was mental and emotional. Tears pricked my eyes as the fear and grief bubbled up inside me, and I permitted myself to lose it for the second time since River had been taken.
I turned off the shower and stepped onto the black rug. Once I dried off and dressed in jeans and a plain black T-shirt, I checked my phone, but there weren’t any missed calls or texts.
As much as it pained me, I had to focus on what I could control. With Brynn’s news, I’d decided to rebuild 4 Play. Life was too short to ignore what made me happy, and I loved the club. I loved building the business. At least that would give us something to work on while Brynn started chemo.
Next, I wanted to find a lake property to buy. I’d considered not purchasing it without River’s approval, but if she didn’t like it, then I could always sell it and make a profit. There was no reason to wait.
When River came home, I’d take her to see the land and share my vision with her. I wanted a place to spend the rest of my days with her and, hopefully, raise a family.
I just had to get her back first.
Chapter Nineteen
Brynn’s news had mentally and physically drained me, but I was determined not to let her know. I had no choice but to move forward, no matter what my life might look like.
Once Jace had returned with some edibles for Brynn, he’d plopped down on the couch with her and turned on a romantic comedy while he massaged her feet. I’d busied myself in the dining room, jotting down ideas for 4 Play as well as a new place to live. Their laughter floated through the area, and I was grateful that sound had replaced the tears, but the emptiness in my heart from missing River was overwhelming.
Chance and I had discussed possible layouts for the club and narrowed it down to a few ideas we were excited about. We’d agreed on a specific brand of high-end cameras and security as well. I wanted to make sure there weren’t any blind spots, so they would be checked daily. It hadn’t escaped me that Laura might have had someone adjust the camera at the loading dock before the furniture had been delivered.
Although I hoped Laura sang like a canary about her bosses and the organization she worked for, I realized it wasn’t likely. The glimmer of hope I’d allowed myself had betrayed me and sucker punched me in the gut. Next time Pierce called with a lead, I wouldn’t jump on the expectation train. I would wait until River was safe and in my arms.
By eleven that evening, Jace had headed home, and Chance and Brynn had moved to Chance’s bedroom. She’d been dozing off and on all afternoon, but I hoped she would get some rest that night. If she wasn’t able to sleep, I figured she’d slip into my room later to talk. The painful understanding of the sacrifice she was making to support me clawed at my chest, puncturing my already wounded and battered soul, making it even harder to breathe.
