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Zayne nodded as he climbed the stairs and pointed to the left side of the main floor. He continued to search the rooms while I had Tim’s access revoked. Once that was done, I also reset the code on the alarm system.
Zayne finally joined me. “It’s all clear.”
“Thanks, man. I need a few minutes to see if there’s any clothes in my old bedroom. I’ll be back.”
“Take your time.” Zayne folded his hands in front of him, his eyes moving side to side, remaining alert.
This part of his job must suck ass. Waiting. Hell, it was about to drive me fucking insane. I’d give my right nut to have River next to me.
I hurried up the stairs and into my room. My pulse stuttered against my neck when I placed my hand against the doorframe. River’s presence was still strong. All I wanted to do was crawl into bed, hold the pillow she’d slept on, and inhale her sweet scent.
Sitting on the stripped clean mattress, I closed my eyes as memories of making love to River for the first time surfaced.
River’s gaze never left mine as I positioned myself at her entrance. I loved her more than she understood. I could tell her, but my actions would prove that she was the only girl for me. I was willing to be as patient as she needed me to be.
“If you want to stop, let me know,” I said.
“I promise.” She peered up at me, her deep blue eyes full of trust.
I slid into her slowly, almost losing it before I even started. Jesus, she felt so good. So hot, tight, and wet. I reined in my hormones and focused on her. Her heart. The way she made my pulse race when I was with her.
“I know my feelings are ahead of yours, but I love you, River. From the moment I saw you, you owned me.”
Tears streamed down her cheeks as I eased in and out, and I gently kissed them away. “You’re the light in my world.”
I suspected that no one had loved or cherished River the way she deserved. I wanted to erase all the doubt and all the fear. River was my life. The light that had broken through my darkness when I wasn’t sure I’d ever feel again.
I continued to move in a slow rhythm. River ran her hands over my back and moaned softly.
Suddenly, I paused and shuddered. I closed my eyes briefly, willing myself not to come yet. “I’m sorry. It’s been a while, and it’s more intense than I anticipated.” I leaned my forehead against hers. “What they say is true, though. Sex is so much better when you love the person that you’re with.” With a strong thrust, I groaned. “God, you feel so good.”
River lifted her hips, encouraging me to continue as she dug her long, manicured fingernails into my ass cheeks. Our bodies moved in sync, my climax stirring to life.
She nipped at my shoulder, then my ear. “I love you inside of me, Holden.”
Her lips claimed mine, and my mouth melted into hers, moaning as her hot tongue explored.
Jolts of ecstasy rippled over me, and I growled. River broke our kiss.
“Baby, oh God.” River rocked against me, picking up the pace. She was stunningly gorgeous as she orgasmed.
I would never forget the intense look of pleasure on her face. “You’re so goddamn beautiful when you come.” My thrusts quickened as I pushed into her a few more times. My name rolled off her tongue as I released.
I relaxed on top of her, kissing her gently as she wrapped her arms around me. “Thank you.”
I lifted my head. “For what?”
Love and awe flickered in her expression. “For replacing those awful memories with something I’ll cherish for the rest of my life.”
My dick ached for her and was painfully hard. I missed her so goddamn much. Then the cold truth crushed my lungs, and I struggled to catch my breath. Just because she was alive right this second didn’t mean she wasn’t hurt or that she’d survive. I stood and headed to my closet to see what clothes I’d left behind. I realized that Brynn and Chance were buying some for me, but if there was anything here that I could use, then I’d grab it.
Walking into the nearly empty closet, I frowned. Hanging up was the football jersey that River had worn. I snatched it off the hanger and brought it to my face. Her scent was still there. I inhaled deeply, taking her in. Pain shot through my heart and my throat tightened with emotion. For the first time since she’d been taken, I felt close to her again.
“I love you, baby. Please come home,” I whispered into the white material of the shirt. I gathered myself together and looked around. There were a few dress shirts and a pair of slacks, and two pairs of jeans. Removing the items from the hangers, I folded them and tossed them on our bed. Fuck. Being here was too much. I was going to lose my shit.
I dried the moisture from my eyes, collected the rest of my belongings, then hightailed it out of the room. Shutting the door behind me, I hoped like hell these weren’t the only reminders I would have left of River.
My legs grew heavy as I walked down the hall, remembering River’s giggles as I carried her up the stairs after her accident. The smell of her soft hair, the way she looked at me as though I was her Superman. The walls began to close in on me as the memories crushed me like a tidal wave. I had to get the hell out of here.
