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“I feel like I’m in a fucking dream. It’s hazy and uncertain, then the monsters come out and chase me.” I placed my palms against the cool pane of glass.
If River were here, she’d get onto me for leaving handprints. It was one of her quirks, and she’d cleaned the slider at Mom’s every time I turned around. She hated fingerprints on computer screens, phones, and refrigerators. I’d offered to buy her a sexy maid’s uniform. All it got me was an empty soda bottle flung at my chest. She’d laughed and shucked her jeans and sweater, then returned to cleaning in her red and black lace G-string and bra.
I nearly moaned with the mental image of her ass in the air as she bent over to pick something off the floor. I’d hurried across the room, dropped to my knees, and peeled off her G-string. My tongue had landed on her sweet pussy, and she’d slapped her hands against the sliding glass door for balance as I made her scream my name … in front of a window where anyone could have seen us. My cock began to throb, and my mouth watered at the memory of her taste. I inhaled slowly. I’d give my soul to have her next to me again, safe, and celebrating our first night in our new home.
“I want to help. Need to help. But I don’t have a clue about what to do,” Chance admitted, his shoulders sagging. “I can call in some favors to deal with Tim, but what if he’s got her? How would ending his pathetic existence solve our problem?”
It was extremely rare to hear Chance offer a violent solution. He usually steered clear of it with his background and family, but he was willing to go down that path if the situation was warranted.
“I know. I’ve thought about it, too.” My throat grew raw with unreleased emotion, and I swallowed. “I talked to him tonight.”
A tight line creased his forehead as he observed me. “What happened?”
I folded my arms across my chest. “I wanted to see if he might have kidnapped River. What I hadn’t expected was that Logan was with him, the guy that sent someone looking for River when Becky was held at gunpoint.”
Shock flickered across his face. “With your dad?”
“Yeah. Since the picture of Logan and Tim was taken years ago, I wasn’t sure if they were still speaking. Apparently, they are.” I stepped away from the window. A memory I couldn’t quite grasp danced at the edge of my mind. What am I missing? “I figured if I played it well, I might be able to spend time with Tim and figure out if he’s responsible for River’s disappearance.” I massaged the knotted muscles in the back of my neck.
“That’s dangerous, Holden. You’re dancing with the devil. This could backfire if you poke your nose too far into his business. You’ll be missing right along with your girlfriend.” Chance’s gaze narrowed. “We have to find another way.” He spun on his heel and walked to the couch, then sat on the edge. Chance steepled his fingers together, which told me he was deep in thought.
“I’m having breakfast with Tim in the morning. Zayne will be with me. I want to try to trip him up and see if he’s a solid lead or not. While the cops and Pierce are tracking down other options, this was the only thing I could think of that I could do.”
“Not keeping busy is hard. Your mind spins out and makes it even worse.” Chance leaned back on the couch and stretched his long legs in front of him.
I joined him. I yawned, exhausted but wide awake. “I was too late for Hannah. I can’t be too late for River and our baby.” The words caught in my throat.
“If she were here now, do you think she’d keep the baby? You guys are young. She’s literally just getting on her feet. She’s nineteen and you’re twenty-two. You’ve got your entire lives ahead of you to have a family. Are you sure you’re ready to be a daddy?” Chance asked, his gaze full of support.
I tugged on the hem of my shirt. “I don’t know. She’s had a lot of loss in her life that might affect her decision to keep a baby right now.” I drummed my fingers against my jeaned thigh. “I’ll respect her choice either way, but we’re financially secure, and she’s the one I’d want to have kids with. If she says she wants to keep it, then I’m a thousand percent on board and committed. On the other hand, you’re right. We’re young. We have time. Besides, I’m not sure she’d be too thrilled if she were pregnant in her wedding gown.” I winced at my slip.
“What?” Chance grinned. “Did you propose to her and not tell me? If you did, I should beat your ass.”
I met his smile with my own. “No. I had it all planned for tonight.” My face fell. “I was looking over the ring when Zayne called me and told me that she was missing.”
“That’s fucked up.” Chance shook his head in disbelief. “We’re going to get her back, man. I’ll make some calls of my own. If we tackle this with all the resources we have, then we’ll bring her home faster.” Chance stood, his expression grim. “I’d tell you to work off some stress and join us in the playroom later, but River would skin you alive. Honestly, it’s not about the sex right now, it’s about the distraction.”
“I’ll have to find another way to stay sane.” I rubbed my stubbled jawline. “Will Brynn be there?”
“She says she will, but she didn’t look too good earlier today. I suspect it will be Sariah, Jace, and me. You can always watch if you need to take your mind off things for a few minutes.”
It was funny how much had changed in such a short time. Before I met River, I wouldn’t have thought twice about participating or viewing, but not anymore. She was all I wanted. “I’ll pass, but I appreciate you looking after me.”
“If you get too wound up, text me and you can help me close the club tonight. Might be best if we try to keep you busy.” Chance cracked his knuckles before he grabbed his suit jacket and slipped it back on.
“You’re probably right.”
We said our goodbyes, and the click of the door closing behind Chance was loud, reminding me that I was once again alone when River should be with me.
I scrubbed my face with my hands, then stretched out on the couch. It was time to try and sleep.
Cries, screaming, and faceless people shuffled by. Terror thickened the air that swirled around me as I ran, then fell. I glanced over my shoulder and struggled to get to my feet. Holden! Holden! Don’t let them …
I jerked myself awake, panting and shaking. Gripping the arm of the sofa, I searched the living room for anything familiar to help me calm down. I’d fallen asleep, and as soon as my eyes had closed, I’d been plagued with nightmares. What the fuck had just happened? Wiping beads of sweat from my forehead with the back of my hand, I attempted to slow my racing heart.
I struggled to piece together the dream, but it was already fading. I stood and hurried to the master bathroom. Nausea rolled in my stomach, and I was afraid I was about to lose my dinner. Entering the spacious room, I waved my fingers in front of the light. Once my sight adjusted to the brightness, I quickly turned on the cold water and splashed my face.
When I straightened, I stared at myself in the mirror. My dark hair was tousled, and shadows rested beneath my brown eyes. My skin was pale, and my expression appeared vacant, as though nothing was left inside of me.
