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“Novak!” she hollered when she saw me retreating inside.
Bo passed by me loudly, making it impossible to hear Davina closing in on me until her hand surprised me as it gripped my arm and body from moving forward. I turned, faced her, aware that her hand stayed on me as her eyes bore into mine. The intensity of her gaze suffocated me, and I welcomed the feeling just as I kept myself from inching closer to her.
“Why won’t you just tell me what it’s supposed to mean?” In her irises, curiosity spun wildly.
“Why do you always call me by my last name and not my given name?” I asked instead.
Her mouth parted. “Respect?”
With a light huff, I jabbed some more. “Is that really it?”
“I can research it again and find it anyway.” We were back with kroshka.
“You could. But maybe you should wait to find out until you are able to call me by my first name.”
“Why?”
“Because I think you call me Novak as a reminder of the real reason why I’m here.”
Her hand fell as her breath hitched.
I saw the moment she understood. We both knew she called me Novak to keep me at an arm’s length. A reminder to see me as the cop that was sent to watch over her safety, and that guy should never call her anything but her name. Anything else would be stepping out of boundaries.
“Unless you don’t want the reminder, I suggest not letting curiosity win.”
Eleven
Davina
Curiosity was a simple word, an impulsive feeling I couldn’t evade. The more I tried to suppress the wonder, the more it crept in, becoming impossible to ignore.
That was how I found myself in the middle of the night, laptop resting over the covers as the screen revealed different things kroshka meant, or how it could be interpreted.
Crumb.
Baby.
Baby-girl.
Babe.
I smiled at the last one.
Little one.
I put the laptop away and snuggled closer to Bo.
With Ilias on my mind, a smile on my face and eyes closed, I wondered which one was meant for me.
Twelve
Ilias
I stayed inside my car longer instead of knocking on her door and being around her presence. This helped with focusing on my tasks and not the other impulsive behaviors I’d let slip already.
Davina had become a constant in my mind, and I’d tried to make myself believe it was solely due to her safety. When in reality, it was the way her voice called for me, and my thoughts intruded with pictures and images of her skin.
It all felt unreal. My love-life had always been non-existent, aside from meaningless hookups that the only purpose was to find a release and walk away. A means to an end. Maybe the reason I found it so difficult to keep her away from my mind was how she was the one female I couldn’t touch, and the one I’ve interacted with the most without fucking. Perhaps if I could have her underneath me while I ravaged her body, the craving would go away. The interest would disappear, and the void would be filled.
