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She nodded swiftly.
“Okay, well, I guess it’s time for dollhouse!” I said, jumping from my seat and lifting her. Her laughter echoed against my eardrums as I ran toward the playroom with her in my arms. Sitting before her, I picked up one of her dolls and jumped into character, sighing as a profound thought pounded through my head. I didn’t have to keep chasing ‘family.’
The family I always craved was right here. This was my home. My daughter. My son who was on his way upstairs for a nap, and my wife who would soon be here. That knowledge filled my heart.
Hm. Maybe I could forgive my sister for sleeping with my best friends. It wasn’t the most horrible thing she could have done. And maybe I could forgive my best friends for lying to me or going behind my back.
Yet, my stomach grumbled in protest. Forgiving my friends wouldn’t be so easy, especially since I still couldn’t justify their age difference. It just didn’t sit well with me.
Chapter 22
Tiffany
“Areyouokay?”Jaredasked me with a hand on my arm. Mario pulled in his brows, staring at me in concern.
My eyes were puffy from crying for the past couple of days. During that time, an hour didn’t pass without me squirting tears from my eyeballs without any warning. My pillow was soaked this morning from tears. Yet as I stood outside the courtroom, I felt queasy, but there were no more tears left to cry. It was like they’d been used up or were too afraid to fall in public. I was still subconsciously holding onto the need to appear perfect to avoid rejection.
“We can do this without you if this is too hard,” Mario said, reaching for my hand and holding it in his.
Both he and Jared saw through me though. They sought to comfort me, but their touches ran through me like a shock to the tender fragility rocking beneath my surface. Deep within me, loose pieces clamored to the floor of my heart as if everything inside me had come apart, and nothing was connected. Nothing inside the operating system of my body made any sense. My body hummed from sensitivity, and any contact at all was alarming to my system.
Still, I appreciated their touch. It forced me back into the current, screaming at me to face what was happening. To stop hiding from rejection and the fear of imperfection.
My mother walked past us, watching as Jared stroked my arm, and Mario held my hand. She wore a deep purple skirt suit that almost appeared black. Her graying dark hair was tied up in a loose, low bun to keep it off her shoulders. She wore pearls in her ears and around her neck. Her slender legs appeared poreless in nude-colored pantyhose, and she wore low heels that cost a pretty penny. She turned her nose up in such disgust when she saw the display of affection between Jared, Mario, and me, I thought she might throw up. Whipping her head around surprisingly fast, she stormed into the courtroom.
My father passed us just a minute later, raising his head as if he were about to acknowledge us but quickly tucked his chin into his neck. He looked older than he did two days ago when I saw him last. His face looked pained and reddened. His wrinkles were more prominent. Still, he tried his hardest to hold his shoulders straight upward, though I could tell it was like he was carrying a heavy load in them. A sense of guilt rushed through me as I berated myself for putting him through this. But that guilt was quickly swept away by the reminder of what they were putting me and my men through. In some fantastical dream world, I would’ve hoped they’d show up today and call everything off. This was reality, however. And the real world was harsh sometimes, whether or not we wanted it to be.
“No, I need to do this,” I said, squeezing Mario’s hand before reaching for Jared’s. As fragile as I was, so sensitive that any touch at all made me feel like I’d crumble, just having them there helped me feel a lot stronger. It didn’t make any sense but giving into the contact felt like throwing myself in deep water, knowing I couldn’t swim, yet I was driven to learn by my determination not to drown.
Court itself didn’t make my legs tremble the way they were now. But going against my family felt like someone had just carved through my chest and robbed me of my heart.
“Where’s Anthony?” I asked, peering over the guys’ shoulder and to the left of me inside the courtroom. Throughout all the mess happening in my head, it just hit me that he hadn’t shown up.
Jared and Mario exchanged looks before lowering their heads.
“Where is he?” I asked again when they didn’t answer.
Having them both here meant so much to me. But we were a team, all four of us. Everything felt more complete when I had all three of my men with me. And on a day like today, I needed all the support I could get.
Plus, I could do with his flippancy. Although he’d been a lot moodier than usual the past few days. Not that I could blame him. We were all feeling the effects of this senseless war.
Mario twisted his lip, and Jared ran a hand through his hair before they both shrugged. “We tried to call him, but he wouldn’t pick up,” Mario said.
“Yeah, the last time I saw him, he was on his way to the doctor. That was two days ago,” Jared admitted.
My heart raced so vigorously, I could feel it in my back as worry about his well-being echoed past my own worries of what awaited us in that courtroom. “Is he okay?” I asked, more stressed than ever.
“Let’s try not to focus on that today,” Jared said.
“Have any of you gone to check up on him?” My breathing increased, and my chest tightened.
“Breathe,” Mario said. “Look, Anthony does this sometimes. He disappears. And sometimes when he shows up, he’s on Anthony time. So maybe he’s just running late. I’m sure he’ll show up,” he finished.
After studying them both, I wasn’t entirely convinced. But they were his best friends, and they knew him a lot longer than I did. If they weren’t freaking out, then I shouldn’t be either.
“Okay,” I said, taking a deep breath.
“Okay?” Mario smiled as Jared ushered me toward the courtroom.
