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“She’ll want to see you, Aslan. Believe me.” Jack leaned into the sliding doors and grabbed his car keys from the kitchen bench. “She doesn’t live far from here. We’ll go right now.”
“But I don’t want to hurt her.”
“You won’t.” Anna shook her head. “We wouldn’t say that if it wasn’t true.”
“So...she’s not with anyone?”
Anna shared another look with Jack.
A look that tore out my heart.
“She is with someone,” I choked. “Fuck, I can’t see her then. I-I wouldn’t survive. I just...” I did my best to extract my hand from Anna’s. “I-I was told she had a daughter. I stupidly assumed that daughter was mine.”
Fuck.
Cem had been playing me again.
Even in a grave, he still found ways to torture me.
Neri had had a child, but it wasn’t mine.
That intrinsic knowledge I’d had the moment I set eyes on Ayla’s photo had been wrong.
Fucking hell.
Neri had made a life with a man who’d helped heal her.
Someone alive after the funeral she’d held in my name.
She’d put me to rest.
She’d said goodbye.
She’d moved on.
What the fuck am I doing here?
“I-I have to go.” I ripped my hand from Anna’s.
“Her name is Ayla,” Anna rushed. “And she’s yours, Aslan.”
My heart threatened to snap.
“How did you know she had a daughter?” Jack asked quietly.
I didn’t have the capacity to answer him. “Ayla is mine?”
“She is.” Anna nodded with a smile. “She’s bilingual and wonderful and looks exactly like you.”
My knees threatened to give out. I wanted to ask so many things. I wanted to know her, touch her, to catch up on all the years I’d missed.
But just because Ayla was mine didn’t mean Neri was raising her on her own. She could’ve given my daughter a new father—a father who’d stepped in when I couldn’t and supported Neri in parenthood.
My head turned woozy.
I couldn’t stop shaking. “Just tell me she’s happy and that’s enough.”
“You can see for yourself,” Jack said.
Nonsense questions tumbled out of my mouth, driven by fear. “Did she move back here after she finished studying in Townsville? Did she meet someone in the same field? Does she still swim every day? Did she make her dream come true with Lunamare? I-Is she okay?” I shut myself up, breathing hard.
Jack closed the sliding doors but didn’t bother to lock up. “She didn’t finish her degree.” He gave me a watery smile. “The loss of you prevented her from being able to. And, well...she was pregnant.”
My chest spasmed. I pinched the bridge of my nose. “I’m so sorry.”
“You’re back now.” He smiled and patted my shoulder. “How? I have no idea. And I want to hear the full story. I have so many questions. So many, many questions. But...before you tell us everything, you need to see her before you have a heart attack.”
I winced at how true his words were.
I felt like I couldn’t breathe without her.
Like my heart was one beat away from stopping for good if it couldn’t have her.
Being here?
In this country? This garden? This place? It haunted me with memories of her. It drove me mad with want and need, and I honestly wouldn’t survive if she’d replaced me.
I’d break in ways Cem had never been able to break me.
I’d waste away all while being so fucking grateful she had someone else to love.
Someone who looked after her when I couldn’t.
I was in his debt, whoever he was.
I would walk away, all to protect her from more heartache.
My head was a mess.
My body a trembling fool.
“Please...I—” I swallowed hard. “Tell me what you’re not telling me. Is she with someone?”
Anna took my hand as she stepped off the deck and waited for me to join her on the grass. I gauged the distance to step down and did it as smoothly as I could, relying more on my cane for balance so I didn’t put weight into her grip.
She waited until we were halfway around the pool before replying. “Do you honestly think she could be with anyone else, Aslan?” Fresh tears rolled down her cheeks as she led me toward the driveway. “She refused to believe you were dead for years. She vowed she felt you, even when all of us said she was mad. She never stopped believing you were alive.” Her voice caught. “We all feared for her state of mind. We asked her to get help. We did everything we could to support her, but...she never accepted you were gone. And now...now I feel absolutely awful because I didn’t believe her. I didn’t trust my own daughter. I didn’t believe in the connection you two share.”
She shook her head as we stopped beside the Jeep. “I-I don’t have the words for how I feel seeing you again. I’ve missed you so much. We all have. But Neri...” She pulled her hand from mine with a wince. “She broke losing you, Aslan, and I honestly don’t think I can watch when she realises you’re not gone...just like she said. I won’t be able to stand it. I can barely stand it now. I hate myself for the number of times I begged her to let you go. I was so worried about her. I didn’t believe her. God, I didn’t—”
