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I hate that I'm not allowed to pursue my dreams without being punished.
I hate that my pack expects me to have children with an omega I didn't choose for myself.
Not that I have anything against Caleb personally. He's sweet. He's funny, intelligent, and level-headed. He's cute too. And, who knows, maybe if we'd met before all this... Well, I can see myself raising a family with him. I can see myself being happy with him.
But at what cost?
As if sensing my inner turmoil, I hear Caleb stirring inside the cabin behind me. From what I could tell, he seemed to sleep soundly most of the night. I did my best to make sure that the cabin stayed warm, and when I slipped outside, I was as quiet as possible.
I'm not a complete asshole.
The front door slowly opens, and Caleb emerges with a blanket wrapped around his shoulders. "Oh, there you are," he says when he sees me. "How long have you been out here?"
"Just a few minutes," I reply as I climb to my feet. "I couldn't sleep. I guess I kept thinking about..."
Before I can finish my sentence, I catch sight of figures walking up the trail toward the cabin. A lot of them.
"Is that...?" Caleb has noticed them too.
"Mmhmm. My pack. It's time."
Caleb shivers beneath his blanket and moves a few steps closer to me. Instinctively, I slip an arm around his slender shoulders, pulling him closer. I barely even realize I've done it until he looks up at me quizzically.
"Might as well look the part." I shrug, trying to come up with some sort of explanation for my actions.
Caleb doesn't say anything else but glances toward the steadily approaching crowd of people.
My father and the elders walk in front of the others. My mother is toward the middle of the pack with the rest of the elders' mates. A few younger pack members run along the outside of the group under the watchful eyes of their caregivers.
I remember going to these ceremonies when I was their age. I didn't fully understand the gravity of what was happening back then. For me, it was just a time to hang out with my friends and cousins, playing games, eating food, and roughhousing.
I envy them.
All throughout the crowd, people are carrying coolers and boxes loaded with food, drinks, games, and various other accouterments. At the very back, someone's slowly following in a pickup truck loaded with several grills, folding tables, chairs, and hay bales.
"This is so different from what it's like in my pack," Caleb whispers. "We just have a potluck in the rec center, and then the new couple goes for a hike in the woods. This feels...so much more important."
"That's one way to describe it." I shake my head and chuckle.
The procession continues toward the cabin until the elders reach the bottom step of the front porch. They look up at us with an appraising eye as I bite the inside of my lip, doing my best to meet their scrutinizing gazes with resolve.
But on the inside, I resent them for putting us in this situation to begin with.
"Jordan, son of Doug," my dad begins his speech. "We are gathered here today to witness your bond with Caleb. The bonds among the wolves are sacred and eternal. When you become bonded with Caleb, you will be obligated to protect him as you would yourself. You will be obligated to provide him with a safe place to live and raise his children. If you break this obligation, you will be dishonored and banished from our pack."
My eyes widen slightly as my father speaks. The words are the same as they've always been, rehearsed, recited, and passed down through the generations. I've heard them a hundred times. But today, they strike me differently.
Today, I'm not just pledging to protect Caleb as I would myself. I'm also promising to give him a home and a family.
"Do you accept this duty, Jordan?" My father is waiting, slightly annoyed at my hesitation.
I swallow nervously and repeat back the words I know by heart. "I do."
The elders turn their attention to Caleb.
"Caleb, you come to us as an outsider. By bonding with Jordan, you will fully join this pack. Will you honor Jordan by accepting his protection and providing him with a safe place to live and raise his children?"
Caleb looks over at me for a moment before answering, despite the hesitation clearly written on his face. "Yes."
