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Those last words are for Cora, even if she never hears them. For Beth and Mattie. For everyone. By the Thirteen, what a fool I’ve been.
“I’m sorry.” My voice is a rasp of itself now, shredded and destroyed by the attempt to be heard above the crowd. Thunder rolls; I feel it in my chest. “Cora, you were right. I’m sorry. I’m so –”
The monster’s claws slice through the air, nearly cleaving my ear from my head. The whisper of it echoes, and a small dribble of blood falls from my earlobe. An agonized sob escapes my throat, but I don’t have time to cry before he’s charging at me again. His wings, torn and disheveled as they are, manage to carry him high enough in the air that he nearly reaches the top of the arena.
He hovers. Strings of saliva drip from his mouth and turn the sand into mud where they fall. Steam rises from his spit, and a sulfurous odor makes me gag.
There’s nowhere to run, but I stagger forth anyway. Years ago, Cora and I watched a herd of taura escape the slaughterhouse only to be hauled away minutes later. I’d cried, but she’d told me they’d never have had a chance anyway. Where would they forage? The back alleys?
I’m the taura now.
Even if I manage to escape this monster through dumb luck, there is nowhere to go. I’ve brought myself and my loved ones to a demonic continent, floating far away from our home.
The only escape is death. If I have any honor, I’ll take it.
The air sings as the monster soars down towards me, head first, jaw open. Despite my resolve to end this fight, I flinch. His claws slice lightly at my chest, and small beads of blood pool up against my skin.
He’s doing this on purpose.
My dance with the monster lasts for some time. He’s toying with me; if he wanted to take me, there’s nothing I could do to stop them. But we are entertainment, and he puts on a good show. I play my part, feinting and dodging until my feet can no longer stand.
And then he lets me crawl.
The sand tears into my knees. I haven’t had skinned knees like this since I was a child playing with Cora. No matter how hard we worked, she always made sure we had time for games.
She’s done the same for Mattie and Beth, and I never appreciated it, not once. All I ever did was hate the dark elves who forced us to work. All I ever saw were my swollen, bleeding fingers, forced to work every day.
She tried to make it bearable. She tried so damned hard.
And now who’s there to make it bearable for Beth and Mattie? Who’s there to take care of them? They’re alone, and it’s all my fault.
Grief tears through me, full-borne. My fate is a horror of my own choosing, but what I’ve done to my adopted siblings is unforgivable. What would I have done as a child without Cora by my side? The only reason I’d survived long enough to doom us all is because of her strength and grace. Because she made a space for being a child in a world designed to drain us of every joy.
Life had been hard, but we had company. Now we’ll never be together again.
“She’s on her knees for you, Gilak!”
The monster laughs, an ominous wheeze, and he squeezes the outline of his massive cock through his stained loincloth. He tilts his head, appraising me, and extends his hand to beckon me forth.
With straining arms I push myself to my feet, but my shaking legs can carry me no further. I take one step, and hot pain tears through my ankle. I collapse into a mucky mix of the monster’s foul spit. Laughter and raucous cheers greet my fall.
“She’s all wet for you!”
The stench is unbearable. His saliva clings, pasting my body with wet sand.
My self-loathing is so strong that I almost let the beast tear at me with his claws, but my cowardice spurs me to flee again. It’s futile. He’s going to take me and kill me and probably eat me alive while the crowd above me watches with rapt delight.
King Asmodeus’s eyes glow. He sits, reclined on his dark throne. I can’t believe I ever trusted him. That I ever sat by his side, stroking his cheek like he was some sort of salvation. It’s fitting that his will be one of the last faces I ever see.
It’s what I deserve.
The monster rears up to charge me one last time, and I’m too exhausted to move. He won the second those gates opened. I’ve never stood a chance, not since I set foot on this world.
I remember the cold metal of the King’s armor against my hand as Cora’s face twisted in betrayal and rage. I’d assured her that we were safe here. That humans would be treated like royalty, that King Asmodeus would destroy the dark elves who keep us in bondage.
I’ve only traded one cruel master for another.
I don’t cry. I don’t deserve to cry. I fight back my tears and stare resolutely at the demon who’s helped me destroy everything good in my life. I hate him so much it burns like a sun inside my chest, but I hate myself even more.
