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109
ANASTASIA
Volikan and I have settled into what could only be described as a unique agreement. A truce, I suppose, of sorts.
He gets to take me whenever he wants – it might sound grim, but I had been prepared for this anyway. That was the deal from the moment that the king signed me over to him.
The difference is that now, it’s more like a game. He likes when I play innocent and scared, acting out the role of prey for him to hunt. I bat my big eyes and tremble, and he eats it up.
And this way, I don’t have to actually be scared. He has no motivation to torment me, as long as I’m willing to fill that predatory need that he just can’t seem to give up. It’s play-acting, but it hits a middle ground that suits us both perfectly. To be honest, it’s kind of fun.
I’m cleaning the house when he creeps behind me. Instantly, I can feel my body react, expecting him to grab me at any moment. I’m not scared – I’m excited. My skin tingles with anticipation.
He walks behind me, completely ignoring my presence. At first, I’m a little confused and disappointed.
But when he makes a point of entering the kitchen a second time, a few minutes later, it all begins to click. He’s not ignoring me – he’s playing with me.
Volikan does this a few more times, this game of in and out. Each time, I wonder if it’s going to be the time. When he finally grabs me from behind, pulling me tight against him, I’m so wet from the wait that I can’t help but smile.
I’m finally going to get the release I so desperately want.
“No, let me go,” I shriek, trying to roll out from underneath him. We’re in a big, open field where we like to sneak off to make love, so there’s no worry of anyone overhearing us. Not that anyone would jump in to defend a human here, anyway.
Pretending to be unwilling had sounded like a good idea. It would give him the chance to force himself on me, something I thought for sure he’d enjoy. But when his eyes darken at me, I immediately begin to sense that I’ve made a mistake.
His grip on my wrists tightens. Straddling my hips, he leans his face closer to mine. I swallow reflexively, a tinge of fear coming over me. It’s a feeling that he hasn’t given me in some time.
“Don’t do that,” he warns, his voice raspy and strained. “When you struggle…” he trails off, and his eyes take on a strange, glazed quality.
“I might not be able to control my darker side,” he admits, looking at me once more. Whatever thought he had been wrapped in is lost, like smoke blowing away. His focus returns, eying me seriously. “No screaming. No struggling. No fighting. Understand?”
I nod, swallowing again, even though I’m not sure I do. I understand enough to realize that I don’t want to test him. Immediately, I go limp underneath him, as if to prove that I have no intention of struggling.
I’m still a little nervous, but as I study his face for a sign of approval, something occurs to me. He isn’t threatening me. He’s genuinely more worried than I am, scared of his reaction.
He’s trying to save me from him.
The thought gives me pause, and my fear drains away. In its place, there’s an odd curiosity. Where does this side of him come from, anyway? Does he truly have no say or control over it?
I start to voice my questions, trying to understand. I want to know what it is that makes him like this, and how he got this way.
But he just leans toward my neck, dropping hot kisses across the skin. I angle my face, giving him better access. Still, I persist, continuing my line of questioning even as his lips dance across me.
Just as stubborn as me, he pretends that he does not hear. Finally, after my fifth or sixth question, he rolls his hips against mine, eliciting a groan.
“You ask too many questions,” he murmurs, claiming my lips to silence me.
A few more kisses, and every question flies out of my head, anyway.
When we’re finally done a few hours later, I’m sated and happy. We lay on the ground together. Volikan doesn’t say much, but his company is still enjoyable.
It makes me feel a little homesick, being here. The skies over Galmoleth are always cloudy and stormy. There’s essentially no sunlight here, and it makes me miss the way that it felt, to lay in the grass on Protheka.
There, the grass was green and soft. You could relax on warm, sunny days, and just breathe in the smell. Not to mention the wildflowers that would spring up in most open spaces, and the bird calls.
It’s not like that here on Galmoleth. For a minute, I’m tempted to share my thoughts with Volikan. But as I consider it, I realize that I’m not sure how I’d explain the difference to him, anyway.
In the end, it seems too complicated, trying to open up to him. So, I don’t. We stand up after a while, heading back to the house.
