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I already am filled with a longing for the simpler time, when I didn’t have to acknowledge how terribly wrong last night went. But now that I remember, there’s no stopping it. I’ll have to figure out a way out of this mess.
I know that my bloodlust, my berserk mode, took over. It happens often enough that I’m quite used to it, and familiar with the way that I black out when it happens. Though my body keeps moving, my brain seems to shut off for these episodes. When it’s over, I can remember the time leading up to it, but not during.
So, this vague blank space that I can’t quite fill isn’t unexpected or surprising. It’s typical for me. Normally, it doesn’t cause me concern, but there’s one significant difference this time.
What did I do to her? I’ve been so careful to control myself around her, not wanting her to see me like that. I’m not worried about Drir’gen – he can hold his own, and besides, he deserved it.
But her, what about her? My heart sinks at the thought, terrified to admit that there is no limit to the monster that I become in that state. I never wanted her to be on the receiving end of that horror, and now it’s almost certainly too late.
I leap out of bed, ignoring the way my head feels like it’s full of liquid, sloshing around my skull. No time for that now. I must find her and hope for the best.
If she’s even still here. If she survived, I wouldn’t blame her if she ran the first chance she got. How do I explain that to the king?
I race across the house, inwardly cursing Drir’gen for what he has started. If he had just kept to himself, none of this would have happened. He let himself into the dungeon, uninvited. He took what was mine, without prompting or encouragement.
If he wasn’t such a sneaky, two-timing shit, I wouldn’t be suffering now. He may be my best friend, but he’s also kind of an asshole. Normally, that seems reasonable – so am I. But is he going to help me get out of this mess?
I don’t even bother to dress. My bottom half is covered as much as modesty would necessitate, in a pair of simple leggings. The rest of me is bare, something I don’t make a habit of. But there’s no time to worry about something so trivial now.
Not when the body of the human might be waiting to be discovered. The king is going to have my head for this. Damn it, Drir’gen!
Even in my panicked state, it manages to seep into my consciousness that the house is cleaner than it deserves to be. I recall that earlier in the night, before everything went to shit, Drir’gen and I were hardly being careful. We left plenty of little messes while we drank, including a smashed bottle, but there’s no evidence of that now.
I stomp loudly down the basement stairs, my heart racing almost painfully in my chest. I have no idea what I expect to find, but it definitely isn’t this.
There’s no mess, despite trashing the place. No Drir’gen. And no human.
What is going on here? I spin in a slow, wary circle, trying to make it make sense. I was worried that I would find her injured, or even dead. I hadn’t expected for her to disappear altogether.
Did she really run away? I guess that I can’t blame her if she saw an opening and took it. It’s almost too bad that I’ll have to hunt her down for the misdeed and punish her.
Better her than me. Because if I don’t find her, the king is going to kill me.
I rub my face tiredly, my mind full of reprimands. I had one job, and I failed completely. I didn’t breed with the human like I was supposed to – I didn’t even have sex with her. And then I lost her, on top of that.
I’m never going to live this down. Never. How am I going to explain why I put off sex, when she was handed directly into my arms? I can hear the other demons laughing at me already.
And then something manages to waft by my nose that interrupts my disgruntled nose. A strange smell. Not unpleasant, but unexpected. What is that?
I hesitate, sniffing the air again. It’s…cooking. The answer might seem obvious, but it’s such a foreign concept in this house that the realization rattles me. I don’t cook. I eat food with the least amount of prep possible, even raw, but I don’t cook.
I make my way slowly up the stairs, trying to understand what is happening. Who would be cooking? Do I even have the tools for that?
When I make my way into the kitchen, I trace the smell back to a pot simmering on a little stove that I’ve always ignored. I’m not sure I knew it could do this, to be honest.
I glance around, noticing how clean the kitchen is. The difference between how it looks now and how I’m used to it looking is jarring. The counters and floor are a different color than I thought, brighter. I guess I’ve never seen them clean before.
Is this Drir’gen’s doing? His way of apologizing to me for last night? I had no idea that the dummy could even cook. At least I might get a good meal before the king has me executed.
And then I see her. My head, swiveling around to take in the room, finishes its course. It lands on her in the corner, watching me.
She isn’t damaged, bloody, or dead at all. In fact, she looks healthier than she did the last time I saw her. Her eyes aren’t filled with terror and helplessness, and she doesn’t have Drir’gen’s stupid hands wrapped around her throat.
She looks better this way.
She smiles brightly, and it gives me a strange pang in my chest that I can’t identify. I’ve never seen her smile.
I kind of like it, except for the reaction my body has to it. I don’t like that, at all.
