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Or, at least without a bra.
I take a deep breath and say a prayer, then tiptoe out of the bedroom and down the hall, finding myself wanting more of what Eli offered me last night.
I step into the kitchen. The cool wood floor slippery under my bare feet, my work boots cleaned and sitting on the stand by the door as they are every morning.
When I get to the kitchen, the bacon is still sizzling in the pan set on the counter but Eli is nowhere in sight.
A thought shakes me. If I push down this path, it’s possible I could lose all the good things that Eli and I have had together. Will changing our relationship change what we had? Don’t get me wrong, last night was…wow, but is it worth the risk?
I slip a piece of bacon into my mouth and shiver. My nipples already tingling again as I think about his hands and mouth and words. I’m not sure what that little spot was he found inside of me but it sure was a happy button and I would love another round of whatever magic that was.
It’s strange for Eli to not wait for me at breakfast even with the events of the night before looming over us. I swing open the back door, the warm breeze rustling through the corn as the sun peaks round above the top of the back forty.
I think of all the times Eli held my hand before. He always made me feel safe and loved but we’ve never said those words to each other. Eli’s not the kind of man that talks about his emotions and that’s probably going to be a problem, especially considering our complicated circumstances.
“Uncle Eli!” I yell through my cupped hands and that knot in my belly tightens and I admit to myself how much I want him. Not just as the uncle he’s been or the father. But as everything.
Daddy.
I walk through the dewy grass to the dairy barn thinking he’s avoiding me and starting on the chores early.
But, when I get to the doors, they are closed and there’s no sight or sound of him.
“Eli?” I try again, rolling the huge doors open just enough for me to get inside.
“Here.” His low voice comes from the end of the aisle. It’s quiet. Quieter than usual except for the sound of a few cows in the stalls at the end of the barn.
“Everything okay? I’m ready for chores.”
Eli steps out, the sun in tiny stripes coming through the barn walls silhouetting him against the darkness.
“Chores are done.”
My heart drops. “But, we always do Friday morning chores together.”
“Things are changing, it would seem.” He steps my way and there’s no air. My lungs burn as his dark eyes come into view. He’s wearing his black and red plaid shirt and jeans. Friday morning clothes but they don’t look like he’s worked a minute in them. “I couldn’t sleep, angel. I took care of our chores so we would have time to do other things.”
Tingles scurry up my back. “What kind of things?”
“Whatever I say. Remember. You agreed to do what I tell you.”
I’ve never been a rebel but following blind orders has also never been my thing but somehow, the way Eli says it, I’d crawl across a barn full of manure if that’s what he wanted.
He’s confident but never arrogant and somewhere in my core, I know whatever he asks me to do, it’s either good for me or at least not harmful and there’s probably a lesson involved.
I step forward, letting the sun catch on the front of my t-shirt which already is showing two dark circles around my nipples.
“I did say that, didn’t I? But, I was under duress.”
Eli nods, scratching his chin, and I see the huge outline of his hardness behind the denim.
“If memory serves, you liked that duress. A lot. Three times if I counted correctly.”
I snort on a giggle. He looks like my Uncle Eli but there’s a new look in his eyes and it only fuels this new wanton part of me.
“Your laugh is like sunshine. Whenever I hear it, I wish I could write it down as a memory and read it over and over. I want to remember everything that makes you laugh so I can do it again and again.”
“Is there anything else you want to do again?” I sweep my hands down the sides of my breasts, with a squeeze spreading milk circles on the thin white t-shirt.
