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"Seductress," he teased. He didn't move, he kept me pinned underneath him.
"I'm obviously not doing a very good job if we're still talking, Stefan," I pouted. He reached over me to turn out the light and I panicked, grasping his arm tightly as tears filled my eyes. "No! Leave on the light!"
He froze and stared down at me, confusion flashing across his face. "You are afraid?" His eyes searched mine and I swallowed back a sob, trying to look away. His hand grasped my chin and forced me to look at him. "Josephine?"
My mind drifted back to the carriage house and the darkness in my mind where I'd retreated. At the time, I was afraid he'd be an illusion. His presence and voice were the only thing that kept me anchored to reality. It would have been so easy. . .
Shaking my head slightly, I pulled myself from the memory. He was still watching me, reading my thoughts as the memory had played back through my mind. His bewildered expression changed to one of anger. "I will not let anything happen to you, vackra. I will never leave you. Never. "
"I'm just being silly, Stefan. I'm fine. "
"You are not fine. A person that is 'fine' does not react the way you just did to something as simple as turning off a lamp. Why are you frightened?" Stefan asked pointedly. "Tell me what you are not letting me see. "
"No. I don't w
ant to talk about it. " I feebly tried to wiggle away from him. He applied more of his weight to me, effectively holding me in place. "Stefan, move. "
"I am not moving. Start talking," he ordered, his voice terse. "If I remember correctly, you said that if things were going to work between us we needed to communicate. You are not communicating with me. "
Damn Stefan and his vampire memory! I hated to admit that he was right. I had told him when we were still in Bali that we had to be honest with each other.
"Alright, I'll tell you. When I blacked out, I was afraid everything was a dream or a fragment of my imagination. I couldn't move or communicate and I would have flashes of memories. You were by my side the whole time and your presence in my mind is what kept me here. I was scared I'd wake up and you'd be gone. " I sighed in defeat. "Are you happy now, Mr. Total Disclosure?"
He frowned and shook his head. "No, I am not happy to know that you are frightened. " He rolled back on his side and paused for a moment, running his fingertips across my lips. "Would you like to know what I was thinking as I watched you lay on that fucking couch? For the first time in my existence, I felt helpless. . . I wanted nothing more than to see your green eyes staring back at me. I searched for centuries for you and you were lost to me. I can protect your body. How can I fight off the demons in your mind?"
He was off the bed and darted to the window, pushing the motorized curtains open. The lights of New York twinkled in the background and he stood with his back to me, frozen in front of the window, as beautiful as a finely-sculpted statue.
I rolled over on my stomach and rested my chin in my hands. "You can't protect me from everything, silly. And you're making a mountain out of a mole hill. "
He whirled around to face me, his face was terrifyingly stunning in his anger. "As your mate it is my job to protect you. Everyone else is meaningless to me, Josephine. If I were to lose you now my life is forfeit. "
"Don't talk that way. If something would happen to me, I want you to be happy," I whispered, shivering at the thought of Stefan just giving up and asking to be killed if something were to happen to me.
He darted back to the bed, his chest heaving with emotion. "You do not get it, do you? I only existed on this earth prior to meeting you. You have made me feel more than I did even during my human life. "
His cell phone rang, shrill in the quietness of the bedroom. He ignored it, still focused on me. Hoping to change the subject, I glanced at his phone on the dresser.
"Aren't you going to answer that?"
His eyes unfocused and he spoke in a monotone voice. "It is Nigel. He wants to arrange to see us. He has information for you. Is that phone call more important to you than our conversation?" Stefan pulled away from me and stalked naked out of the bedroom. I heard the door slam to his office and I pulled the pillow over my head, groaning loudly. Leave it to me to fuck up a heart-to-heart conversation when the love of my life offered me his heart on his sleeve.
Wrapping the sheet around me, I walked out of the bedroom and hesitated outside of his office door. Taking a deep breath, I nervously turned the doorknob and pushed open the door to his office.
"Stefan?"
His back was to me at his desk, his shoulders tight as he flipped through e-mail after e-mail. He ignored me and continued tapping away at his computer.
I held the sheet with one hand and walked to his side of the desk. I sat down on the edge of the desk and scooted between Stefan and the laptop.
"Hey. " I brushed my fingers through his hair. His sea blue eyes shifted to meet mine. He didn't move, but he was at least acknowledging me. "I'm sorry. You know how I feel about you. You're everything to me. I'm just not good at this relationship stuff, Stefan. I'm still learning. "
He nodded and buried his face against my chest, wrapping his long arms around my waist. We sat like this for a long time, his face pressed between my breasts as I methodically stroked his hair.
Finally breaking the silence, I spoke quietly. "Come back to bed. All of this can wait. "
He pulled away from me and stood, offering me his hand. Taking it, I followed him back to the bedroom, watching as he spread his lean body across the king sized bed and stretched his arms out for me to join him. I unwrapped myself from the sheet and snuggled beside of him. Smiling gently, I reached behind me and turned off the light. Stefan's eyes met mine in the darkness of the room, his eyes filled with unspoken questions.
"I'm not afraid anymore. I have you to protect me. "
