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The line goes perfectly silent. I can feel Cora waiting on the other side. So I tell her what she needs to know.
“Katerina and I were pushed into an engagement by our fathers. It was a business relationship more than anything. After the deal I made with my father on Anya’s behalf, I was ready to hold up my end of the bargain. Until Katerina told me she didn’t want to marry me.”
I can still see Katerina trembling as we danced. We were taking our relationship public at some idiotic charity function, and she was a nervous wreck. Every time I touched her, she flinched away. All night long, she kept tossing nervous glances at her father. Konstantin was on the sidelines, scowling at her, threatening her to do as she was told. I pulled her aside and, after some coaxing, she confessed everything.
“Katerina didn’t want to get married to anyone,” I explain. “She didn’t even want to be part of this world, but her father wouldn’t let her go. She was the oldest of three girls. Her next sister was ten years younger, so it would be a long time before she was marrying age. Her father wanted to capitalize on every shot he had of securing his family’s status.”
“That’s disgusting,” Cora says in horror. “I didn’t even think people still thought that way.”
“A lot of things about this world are backwards,” I admit. “Katerina’s family most of all. I told Katerina I would call off the engagement. You might not believe this, but I had no interest in marrying someone who wasn’t willing. I never expected to find love with someone, but I wanted a partnership. I wanted someone who understood what I was offering and was prepared to offer the same in return. Since Katerina wasn’t, I was ready to end things and face whatever consequences came from ending the deal. But Katerina begged me not to. She said that her father would just force her into a marriage with someone else, someone worse. There was only one option: she needed to escape. So I—”
“You helped her,” Cora says quietly. “Youtook care of her.”
She finally understands what I meant yesterday.
“I took care of her,” I confirm. “I paid for Katerina to disappear and I haven’t told a soul. Except for Anya. And now, you.”
There’s a long pause before Cora blows out a breath. “I’m so sorry, Ivan. I should have trusted you.”
“You had no reason to trust me.”
“You think I had no reason to—? Ivan, you’ve saved my life over and over again. You made that deal with your dad to protect Anya. Everything you’ve done has been a reason for me to trust you, but as soon as I heard one thing that seemed suspicious, I ran.”
“And I let you.” I squeeze the phone tight, wishing more than anything that I was with her right now. That I could hold her. “I could have told you the truth right then and there, but I didn’t. I let you leave. And that is on me.All of thisis on me.”
“You can’t take on the weight of the entire world by yourself.”
“It’s too late.” I shake my head. “I told you I’d keep you and your friends safe, but I let you leave. That was easier than letting myself trust you.”
“Why? Why don’t you want to trust me?”
“Because it isn’t safe for you. The closer you are to me, the more danger you’re in.”
She chuckles miserably. “Funny, because the only place I’ve ever felt safe is close to you.”
I grimace. I can’t stand when she says things like that. It makes me feel things in places I thought were long since dead. It’s almost enough to kill a coldhearted bastard.
“I should have listened to that part of me,” she continues. “I should have followed my gut and stayed with you. I’m so sorry, Ivan. For all of this.”
“Don’t apologize.”
“I know you want to take all of the blame, but some of it belongs to—”
“Don’t apologize yet,” I clarify. “Later, when this threat is neutralized, I’d like to hear you say it…on your knees.”
I can perfectly imagine the way she’s biting her lower lip. The fire that is burning in her green eyes as she says, “It’s a date.”
“First, I need to find your friend and get you home.”Home.With me, in my bed, in my house. “And Cora… you know I didn’t murder Katerina, but I need you to know something: I will kill anyone and everyone who gets between me and you. Any soul that lays a hand on you dies. I won’t hesitate and I won’t ask questions.”
I expect her to argue. I wait for her to tell me not to kill anyone for her.
But she doesn’t say that.
“I know you will, Ivan,” she says softly. “Please be careful.”
I can’t make that promise, so I don’t say anything as I end the call.
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