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1
Kerry
Absently, I pat my hands dry and stare at the counter loaded with freshly washed dishes. Another chore done, but one that will repeat itself tomorrow. Like my life. Except today I have to welcome my dead husband’s little brother into my home. The man that disapproves of me enough to not have visited once in the last twelve years. The brother, that is. The husband liked me well enough — as a friend.
Once this is done, maybe I should move? Somewhere where nobody knows me or my past. But I like my little house with the views of the quiet cove, the tall evergreens that swish majestically in the wind. And the fact that my mother refuses to visit anywhere that doesn’t have a four-star hotel willing to do her bidding. That’s a definite requirement — not seeing my mother or any of her cronies (or their single sons and nephews).
Mostly, I like my community too. But there’s nobody I want to date. Handy when I was technically married, even though Carter accused me of using it (both things, really) as an excuse to be a hermit. He said it nicely enough — he was much the same. But Carter took his isolation wandering, like a turtle with a shell. Or an AK-47 in his case, although he’d roll his eyes with scorn if he heard me say that.
As time went on, he spent more and more time away, and grew more withdrawn when I did see him. He swore he hadn’t met anyone, that I was the one he was worried about in our arrangement.
But still, it was more sad acceptance than surprise when I got the knock on the door. The blank-faced man from the government informed me that Carter had been found dead in an isolated cave somewhere in the Carpathian mountains. The cause of death was unable to be determined, but it didn’t appear to be in combat. I’d nodded, shut the door again, and done the dishes.
I didn’t bother telling anyone that I was now officially single. But somehow word got out. And all the perpetually single middle-age men in town dropped by shortly thereafter. Most of them gave up fairly quickly. But Ted, the pharmacist in town, has proved particularly dedicated. He’s nice enough, as a pharmacist. But I don’t want to know him better than that and he’s proving obstinate about hearing it.
So I check the doorbell cam Carter installed for me a few years ago very carefully when I hear a sharp knock on the front door. Ted usually goes for a knock he thinks is playful and charming (cue eye roll).
There’s a tall, well-built man standing stiffly in front of the camera. That must be Trevor. My stomach clenches nervously in anticipation of the next few days of awkwardness. But there’s no avoiding it, really. Carter left instructions in his will that his little brother should be the one to go through his things. I don’t know why he was so set on that, but it’s the least I can do in gratitude for the man who saved me all those years ago.
I paste a gracious smile on my face before I open the door. “Hi, you must be Trevor. Come in.”
Trevor
Fuck. From the expression on Kerry’s face, it’s obvious she doesn’t want me here. It’s like she can see into my brain and knows I’ve been lusting after her for the last twelve years. Since the first time I saw her on the day she married my brother.You still don’t measure up to him, and never willher eyes telegraph.
I knowI want to shout back. It’s why I’ve stayed away. That and the guilt and shame for wanting what my brother had and didn’t seem to value the way I thought he should.
She’s even more beautiful now, and more relaxed in her own skin, despite her resistance to me. Maybe that was all wedding nerves that distant day. Carter has sent pictures over the years, so it’s not like I’ve been obsessing over one single long ago memory. I knew when each new picture arrived that I still wasn’t able to be in the same room with her and not show my feelings.
But it didn’t matter that much if I stayed away. I had no one to disappoint if I got killed in some unheard of place. Carter, on the other hand, had so much to come back to. Hell, I couldn’t understand how he could leave her in the first place.
“Come in,” she says again quietly, standing to one side. I swallow hard and step over the threshold into my brother’s house. The one where he shared a bed with the woman I still want to be inside of.
Or so I thought. I feel my jaw drop in shock when she offers, “You can stay in Carter’s room, or if that makes you uncomfortable, there’s a pull-out sofa in the den.”
She’s waiting for me to indicate my choice, but I’m shocked speechless. “You didn’t share a room?” I blurt out finally.
Kerry’s eyes lower and she gives me what is clearly a practiced speech. “Carter often had trouble sleeping when he got back. He preferred to be able to move around or watch a baseball game without disturbing me.” She pauses and then brings her bright blue eyes up to mine again. “Do you want to see it before you decide?”
That’s bullshit if ever I heard it. If I had trouble falling asleep next to Kerry, I’d be lying there breathing her in, grateful to have her in my arms. Not down the hall watching sports.
“No, I’ll stay in the den if that’s okay? It will make the sorting job easier, I’m thinking.” I honestly don’t want to make this harder on her. It’s not her fault she found the better brother first. Not to mention that at eighteen, I didn’t exactly have anything to offer the older woman who stole my heart. At least I showed some wisdom then and kept my mouth shut. Although Carter knew some of it. He’d steered me away as soon as the ceremony was concluded with the suggestion, “Maybe go take the edge off in the woods, kid. And for God’s sake, keep your tongue in your mouth.”
Unfortunately, it was clear he wasn’t warning me off of French-kissing his bride. It was bad enough he knew I had a hard-on for his new wife, otherwise he’d have told me to invite the flirting bridesmaid with me into the trees. I did as he suggested, and we never spoke of it again.
2
Trevor
I drop my shit in the small den at the rear of the house and then accept the cup of coffee Kerry offers. I’m crap at small talk and Kerry’s nerves aren’t helping, so after a few awkward remarks about the nice view and the quiet neighborhood, I let out a sigh. “Why don’t you show me where Carter’s stuff is and I’ll get started? I know this isn’t easy for you, Kerry. I’ll be out of your hair as soon as I can.”
She looks taken aback. “Oh! I… nevermind. All of Carter’s personal things are in his room. I’ll show you, then I’ll bring some boxes up. I saved some sturdy ones.” She gives me a small, tight smile before leading the way up the narrow stairs. It’s hard not to watch the sweet curve of her ass when it’s right there at eye level, but I force my gaze away.She’s not for you, idiot, I remind myself silently.
Kerry stops in front of a closed door and takes a deep breath before twisting the antique glass knob. Then she steps aside and waits for me to enter before darting down the stairs again. I scan the room. It’s neat, which was to be expected. The bedspread is pulled up over an unmade mattress. Makes sense, I guess, if you’re gone for months and Kerry probably wasn’t expecting him home anytime soon when he died.
A stack of boxes appear in the doorway, trailed by black plastic garbage bags. I pluck them out of her arms and scan her from head to toe. “You didn’t come up the stairs like that, did you?” I’m practically growling, which might have something to do with her wide eyes. I force my tone to soften. “You could kill yourself doing that.”
Kerry blinks and then shrugs, making me frown. “Here. I brought boxes for what you want to ship or donate and bags for the trash.”
