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He tapped his heart, and I reached to frame his face with my hands. “I get it. You want the closeness. Not that two people have to fuck to make love, but—”
“Yeah. That.” He interrupted me, surprising me with his ready nod. “Not fucking. Making love. Leave it to you to bring the poetry.”
“Oh, I’m not a writer.” I stroked his jaw. “Just a podcasting professor who really wants to make you feel good, Cal.”
“You do. Always.” His expression turned sentimental, a level of softness I hadn’t seen on his chiseled features before. “Kink. No kink. Just sleeping. It’s all good.”
“Cal…” I wasn’t sure how to finish the thought, so I pulled him down for a kiss. The brush of lips turned hot and searing the moment his mouth opened with a gasp. He tasted like coffee and cheap, powdery cookies and mine. He tasted like mine.
“Mine,” I growled. It wasn’t everything I wanted to say, but it was for damn sure a start.
“I’m yours,” he breathed against my lips. Cal rocked against my erection, a subtle motion, but one that had me moaning nevertheless. “Make love to me.”
“Absolutely.” I kissed him again, hands on his shoulders, holding him flush to my chest. “I want to do it just like this. You on top.”
“It won’t hurt you? I want what’s best for you.” He looked so earnest that I had to give him another slow kiss.
“You. You are what’s best for me.” It was as close as I could come to saying what was truly in my heart. “And you never hurt me.”
A small lie. His leaving was going to gut me. But physically, I trusted him completely.
“You’ll have to tell me what to do.” Cal offered me a rueful smile.
“Don’t I always?” I chuckled. “Position doesn’t change who’s in charge. I’ll take care of you, baby. Promise.”
“I meant more because I haven’t done this before. But thank you.”
“Thank me after.” I leered at him until he also laughed.
“Oh, I plan to.” Still smiling, he let me pull him close for another soft, slow kiss that had him grinding more purposefully against me.
“Careful, baby. Don’t come yet.” I moved my hands to his ass, staying his motions. Reaching over to the nightstand, I groped around until I came up with the tube of lube I kept in the nightstand, but I had to curse when my fingers failed to locate the box I sought.
“Heck. Condoms.”
“Do we need them?” Cal didn’t seem particularly concerned. “I’m the virgin here, remember?”
“Trust me that I’m not forgetting that detail.” I gave a strained laugh. “And I’m tested on the regular. Haven’t done anything other than with you since my last physical. But I’ve never skipped the rubber before.”
“Do it with me. Then I’m not the only first-timer.” Cal winked at me.
“Yeah, but going bare might make this the world’s quickest first time.”
“Let’s find out.” He waggled his eyebrows at me.
“Always such a risk taker.” I shook my head fondly, not sure there was room in my chest for everything this man made me feel.
“Oh, you’re not that big of a risk.” Dipping his head, Cal kissed me so sweetly I trembled under him. “Feel free to give me a thrill though.”
“Consider me your personal amusement park.” I joked, but there was nothing I wouldn’t offer Cal. I wanted to be the only thrill he ever needed, the safest risk he ever took, the answer to the adrenaline he craved, and the anchor holding him in place.
“Keep arms and legs inside the ride at all times.” His blue, blue eyes sparkled. Emphasizing his point, he sat up, bracing his hands against my chest, wrists touching like they were held by invisible cuffs.
“Now there’s an idea.” I reached back to the nightstand to get the small hank of rope that had conveniently ended up there after a previous playtime. I held it up to show Cal. “You want?”
“Hell yes.” He held out his hands for me to bind. I used a secure hold but made sure to position his hands in such a way that he could still brace himself with them for balance.
“Lift up,” I ordered, readying my fingers with the lube. Slowly, I circled Cal’s rim, little teases that gradually increased the pressure. I watched his face the whole time, the way his jaw went slack and his eyes glassy. Once he was relaxed and rocking down to meet my fingers, I pressed in, letting his body adjust to the invasion.
“Oh.” Cal shut his eyes, mouth parting on a soft gasp.
“Good oh?” I needed to hear him say it.
“Yeah.” He gave a breathy moan as he leaned forward, giving me even more access. “I kind of love that I can’t stop you. Have to take it.”
“You do.” If this was the game he wanted, I was more than happy to play along. Using my free hand, I ran my fingers across his bound hands. “Have to let me get you ready for me.”
