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“Pining.” Cal finished my thought for me. “I know pining. And that’s someone who was pining for…an escape, maybe? Or perhaps the other person specifically.”
“Sociopaths can be very charming, and it sure looks like she was tempted to go with him.” I studied the documents closer. “If it wasn’t a physical affair, there were, at the very least, strong emotions involved on both sides.”
“Exactly. And this information changes everything.” Cal, who was always serious, had reached a new level of grimness.
“Yeah, can’t argue with that. She didn’t deserve to die, but this will influence public opinion. Cracks in her perfect housewife image.” My chest felt strangely hot and tight, instant heartburn. “Worth already told Monroe his folks argued that summer, but he didn’t report it to investigators at the time, so it’s not public knowledge. But now it will be much clearer that their marriage was on the rocks.”
“And everyone’s gonna have an opinion. It sucks. You and Sam are planning that memorial. And Worth isn’t gonna like this news at all. Maybe we don’t have to share?” Cal’s tone was mournful but resigned like he already knew the answer, so I allowed him space to work things out aloud. “The task force has enough to get the suspect now. The indictment should come down any day now. But what if they do end up needing this evidence? Fuck. I don’t know what the right thing to do here is.”
“Cal. We can’t play God.” I gave him a hard look, but he likely didn’t need the reminder. He knew what we had to do here, but he was right. It was going to suck. “If it damages her reputation, that is a shame, but the truth needs to come out. And if she was the first victim of this killer, establishing a pattern and motive may help locate others beyond the known Florida victims. It could end up helping more than this one case.”
“Yeah…” Cal sighed, sagging back against my chair, and I rested a hand on his tense shoulder.
“She was human and made some mistakes, but she still deserves justice, and the killer needs to be held accountable.”
“Agreed.” Cal’s voice sounded far away. “Guess that’s the problem with pedestals. People are humans. Not sure why this has me all in knots.”
“Come here.” I pulled on his shoulder until his head was against my thigh, arms around my torso. Cal took big gulps of air.
“I feel stupid.”
“You’re not stupid. You’re caring. That’s a good quality.”
“It’s a liability because most folks see the world in black and white.” Anger laced his tone, but he still sounded closer to tears than rage. “With my mom, all anyone remembers is the last few years. The grief-induced depression. The drinking. The chronic pancreatitis. And with Ev, everyone only remembers the good, not the complicated reality. Wild teen who made good in the navy, reckless daredevil but also a highly decorated SEAL, hook-up king turned loving husband. Last impressions matter. Apparently.”
“Others might see it that way, but you can honor those shades of gray.” I stroked his short hair and muscular neck. “It’s okay to admit the people you loved were human.”
He shuddered, burying his face against me. My shirt grew damp as I held him as tightly as I could.
“Damn it. Why am I crying?”
“Because you’re human too.” I clung to him as much as he clung to me, my own emotions close to the surface. “You’re human, and you hurt. It’s good to let it out.”
“You shouldn’t have to deal with me all sloppy.”
“You’re emotional, Cal.” I leaned down to kiss the top of his head. “This isn’t you falling-down drunk. I want to be here for you. And hell, I’d be here even if you were shit-faced.”
“Thank you.” Tilting his head, he gazed up at me with glassy eyes. And then he stretched, mouth right below mine. I held perfectly still, letting him be the one to close the gap. He brushed his mouth over mine, the softest, sweetest kiss on record.
“I’m glad you trust me,” I whispered.
“You make me feel…safe.” He kissed me again, another kitten-whisker soft kiss that made me gasp. Safe was a start. I wanted to make him feel all the things, but if I could make this wounded man feel safe, perhaps I stood a chance of protecting him from his demons. When he released me, I kissed his forehead, keeping him close as he rested his head against my torso. “Will you stay while I call Sam and then the station? It’s Sam’s house, so he should know, but we need to turn in the evidence, even if it complicates things.”
“Yes. Of course. I’m not going anywhere.” And I wasn’t. The case wasn’t the only thing complicated. Each interaction with Cal tangled me up further, increased the risk of hurt for us both, but hell if I could be anywhere other than right here.
