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“Understandable.” I nodded, trying to will away the last of my own random fit of lust over his toned body. “But plenty of people of all genders play kinky inside a committed relationship.”
“Ha.” Cal snorted, dropping the cover to tap his bent knee. “Finding a permanent partner who might not run if I confess to liking rope isn’t happening either.”
“I bet you could find someone.” I was nothing if not encouraging, and while a certain part of me was all too willing to volunteer to read up on bondage, I tried to focus on being Cal’s friend, not making an unwanted pass.
“Your faith in me is staggering.” Cal finally met my gaze, only to roll his eyes at me. “Anyway, sure, solo play has risks, but it beats the alternatives.”
“Similar to your preference for solo diving.”
“Yep.” Cal nodded like I was finally getting the idea, but in actuality, my brain was racing. I wasn’t sure where this need to keep Cal safe in and out of the water was coming from, but I couldn’t seem to turn it off. There had to be a way. If the stubborn man had let us send divers down with him Saturday, he might not have been injured.
Oh. That was it. I smiled wide. “You need a spotter.”
“Uh?”
“Like a lifeguard. A kink lifeguard. A dive buddy? Maybe that’s the better metaphor.” Warming to my idea, I gestured with my hand. “Someone where you can say, ‘Hey, I’m thinking of doing my thing tonight. If you don’t hear from me by midnight, check on me.’ And then you tell them when you’re…done.”
“It’s rope. Not internet dating, but I get what you’re saying about having a backup plan.” Cal sounded like he was trying hard to humor me even though he found me stuffy and insufferable. “I could have gotten free on my own. It would have taken some time and likely some noise, but I could have. And which friend am I supposed to saddle with getting a call whenever I want to rub one out?”
“Me.” I grinned at him, doing my best to look as nonthreatening and nonjudgmental as possible. “I could be your kink dive buddy. Safety check-in. And I know you hate talking. You could just shoot me a text: Do not disturb for an hour. Or use the college door code even—just text me a tie emoji.”
“Ha.” Cal gave a short, sharp laugh.
I leaned forward. “I want to be your friend, Cal, and I want you safe. I don’t care that you’re kinky. I care that you don’t hurt yourself.”
“Wow. That’s some words.” Cal echoed me from the night before, and then the most wondrous thing happened. He smiled. Like really smiled, big and wide, dimples and parted lips like he might even laugh, a real one, not the sarcastic barks. Cal belly laughing would be a sight indeed. “You wanna be my kinky lifeguard.”
“Yes. I can’t pretend to not know or be concerned, but I think there’s a balance where you can have your privacy.” I tried to press my advantage while he still thought I was humorous. “Like I’m here until my afternoon class at three. I could help you resurrect your rigging in a way that won’t cut off circulation, then go and listen to some pod recordings. Loudly. With headphones on. As long as I see proof of life before I leave, I won’t bug you again.”
Cal’s smile morphed into something thoughtful, eyes widening like he was seeing me for the first time. I had to resist the urge to make sure I wasn’t wearing bagel crumbs or break the suddenly thick tension with a wisecrack.
But my patience was rewarded when Cal finally spoke. “Or you could not leave.”
Chapter Twelve
Cal
I was either making a monumental mistake or having the best idea I’d had in a long time, and it was a tossup as to which. Possibly both. Once upon a time, I’d been more spontaneous. Some might even say fun. But the last few years had hardened me, sharpened my edges. Holden gaped at me, clearly shocked at my invitation. The very idea that I might propose something fun was out of character, and honestly, I was more than a little shocked myself.
“I could stay?” For the first time, perhaps ever, Holden sounded unsure of himself, and I had to laugh. Like really laugh, the kind that involved my abs along with my facial muscles, and Holden looked as startled by my chuckling as my offer.
“Lifeguards usually stay by the pool. Dive buddies go down with you.” I was joking, but my voice came out dry. Holden’s eyes went wide as he made a strangled noise. “Don’t go all seventh-grade humor on me. You wanna keep me safe. Shouldn’t you be close by? Watching out for…danger?”
“Are you putting me on?” Holden asked softly, as uncertain and quiet as I’d seen the guy. “Like, as soon as I say yes, you’re going to rescind the offer and laugh about how I went from pearl-clutching to an eager participant?”
