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Emerald exhaled. It was a relief to share her feelings with Romy finally. But Romy still appeared aghast, stoic in her seat. Giggling nervously, Emerald prodded, “What do you think? Please say something.”
With eyes wide, Romy exclaimed, “Are you kidding? You want to have a relationship? Emerald, I thought this was all business. You lead me to believe that fucking you was part of my job.” Shaking her head, Romy’s expression turned from confused to hurt. “I’m not like you. I’m an out and proud lesbian. I’ve never been in the closet, and I never will. Secret sex with you as part of my job is one thing, but I can’t be your dirty little secret forever. I care deeply for you, but I just can’t be yoursecretgirlfriend.”
Furrowing her brow with disgust, Romy added, “So, basically, you just want to use me behind closed doors but pretend you don’t know me in public? No, that will never work for me.”
Emerald’s jaw dropped. “No, no, you don’t understand. Iloveyou! I need you, Romy. Don’t you feel the same? The other night was magical. Iknowthere is a connection.”
Romy sighed, placing her napkin on the table. “Listen, I don’t mind working for you. It’s definitely been one of the more interesting jobs I’ve had. And yes, you are attractive and sexy. I’ve allowed myself to be seduced by your charms.” Romy crossed her muscular arms and added, “But I’m not in love with you. And if I’m going to be in a relationship, I want to give my all to my partner and celebrate our love openly. You’re not that way, Emerald. It’s just not possible.”
Emerald stared at Romy and her hard blue eyes, processing the conversation. She had never been rejected by a conquest before, and it felt as though she had just got slapped in the face. Emerald blinked, feeling tears begin to well in her eyes.Don’t fucking cry! Don’t you dare cry in front of her.
The table was silent for a few seconds before Emerald found her voice. Averting eye contact, she stated shakily, “Okay, fine. I didn’t mean to offend you. We’ll keep it strictly business.” Clearing her throat, Emerald straightened her shoulders and picked up her cutlery. She could feel Romy’s eyes on her, but Emerald didn’t look up. Instead, she concentrated on cutting her steak.
Romy spoke in a mild tone. “It’s okay. Like I said, I like being here. And I want to keep you safe. I’m really sorry, Emerald.” An uncomfortable pause ballooned, and Emerald nodded silently. After finishing her steak, Emerald rose from the table, announcing, “I’m going to my room. I have an early meeting with the film director tomorrow. And you’re coming with me. So get some rest. I’ll see you in the morning.”
Leaving Romy alone at the table, Emerald excused herself and walked inside. Her heart ached, and her face burned with humiliation. She traveled upstairs without a word to Marilyn. Emerald knew that she needed her sleep, but a peaceful slumber would not find her tonight.
Tears streamed from her eyes onto the pillow. This was her first night without Romy and she felt more alone than she ever had.
12
Romy stared at her half-eaten plate with a vanished appetite. With Emerald now gone, Romy sat alone in the garden, watching the flames from the candles smolder and diminish. She sat frozen in her seat, confused and angry. But another emotion was bubbling beneath the surface that Romy couldn’t yet identify.
Unlike Emerald, Romy didn’t want to rely on Marilyn to clear the table. Romy hadn’t hired the housekeeper, so she felt it was only polite and respectful to help bring some dishes. Her legs felt wobbly as she stood; the conversation between her and Emerald made Romy feel weak and tired. Her heart felt gutted because she was looking forward to spending time with Emerald. But Romy was also insulted by Emerald’s proposal, and unfortunately, she couldn’t control her strong emotional reaction.
What did I think was going to happen? I’ve become unprofessional and I’ve gotten myself into this mess.
Stacking the plates and lying the silverware across, Romy carried the dishes inside, using the side entrance, which gave better access to the kitchen. There, she found Marilyn scrubbing away in front of a bubbly basin. “Oh, hi. I wanted to bring these inside for you,” Romy greeted the housekeeper. “Where should I leave them?”
Marilyn looked up from the sink. “Hello, my dear. Oh, please don’t worry. I can take care of those. I’ll go outside to take down the table.” But Romy insisted on helping. “I really don’t mind. You prepared us a lovely meal, and it’s my pleasure to tidy up.”
Marilyn smiled gently. “I’m so glad you enjoyed it. Is Emerald still outside?” Romy gulped and shook her head, unsure of what to say. “Um, no. She, um, wasn’t feeling well, so she decided to lay down after dinner.”
“Oh no! I hope everything is alright.” Then, wiping her hands on an apron, Marilyn added, “She has been under so much stress since the divorce. And I know she’s had a terrible time sleeping. So I think it’s great that you are here for her. I think having you at the house calmed her considerably.”
Romy fought the urge to laugh; Emerald seemed the exact opposite of calm to her. But it was one of the qualities that charmed Romy. As much as it confused her, Romy appreciated how expressive Emerald was with her desires. Being so forthcoming and vulnerable was something Romy struggled with in all of her relationships. “Well, I’m glad to hear that because I take my job seriously, and my clients are my number one focus.”
“But it’s more than that. I also think that having someone keep her company has been good for her healing. Emerald may be one of the most recognizable actresses in North America. And fans don’t equal friends.” Marilyn bustled around the kitchen. “People like Emerald don’t have a close social circle because they need to be on guard. She is a very lonely person. And I think your presence has helped her remove some of her walls.”
“She is a fascinating woman, that's for sure,” Romy mused, although she didn't want Marilyn to pick up on her bitterness. “But we are getting close to having Thomas arrested. My investigation is complete, and I am finalizing my file on him. So, soon, he won't be a problem anymore.”
Marilyn breathed a sigh of relief. “Oh, that's wonderful to hear. And I guess that means you'll be leaving us soon. Do you think you and Emerald will stay in touch? If it were up to me, you would be welcome here anytime.”
Romy beamed at the housekeeper. Marilyn was so warm and kind. But Romy knew that her time with Emerald was coming to an end. “That's so sweet, thank you. But, to be honest, I'm not sure. It depends on where my next assignment will be and if I need to travel out of the state.” That wasn't a lie, per se. Her schedule was intense, and she was rarely in the same place for long, depending on the client's requirements. But Marilyn only needed to hear part of the story, and Romy wouldn't out Emerald to anyone.
Marilyn approached Romy, putting a hand on her arm. “It would be nice for Emerald if youdidstay in touch. You two seem to get along so well.” There was a curious sparkle in Marilyn’s eyes as she stared at Romy. Her voice seemed suggestive as if Marilyn knew more than she was letting on.
But Romy kept her tone neutral and diplomatic. “You never know what the future holds. But for now, I want to focus on Thomas' arrest.” Glancing at the clock on the wall, she realized it was becoming late. “Oh, I need to accompany Emerald to her meeting tomorrow morning. I should go to bed too. Thanks again for dinner.”
The housekeeper bid Romy good night as she traveled up the stairs to her own bedroom. Tonight, she wouldn't be sharing a bed with Emerald, which gutted Romy. As she removed her clothes to prepare for bed, Romy thought back to last night with Emerald. She had shown Romy such a generous and sensual side of herself as she worshiped Romy's body. Their lovemaking had been so different from the last times Romy and Emerald had been intimate. Emerald's touch felt gentle and soft; her energy filled with care.
Unlike past experiences where sex seemed transactional, Emerald focused solely on her pleasure, allowing Romy to melt into the moment. Thinking back, it now seemed like a dream, and Romy realized how much she had been holding back emotionally with Emerald.
I'm truly sad at the idea of losing her; we have an undeniable connection. But our lives could never sync with Emerald in the closet. And I could never share her in secret while she has other men in her life. Fuck!
Romy's heart was caught between how she felt about the actress and the reality of Emerald's situation. She stared at the ceiling, mulling over her choices. Romy could leave Emerald for good after completing the assignment with Thomas or try to move forward with a relationship. But neither option seemed right, and the more Romy played with the various scenarios in her head, the more frustrated she became.It's just not possible; I can't do this. I just can't!Romy began to cry in bed, hugging her pillow and soaking it with tears. The exhaustion of her heartbreak was enough to eventually lull her to a fitful sleep.
Beep, beep, beep!The following day, Romy woke up with a start to the sound of her alarm. She felt exhausted and emotionally drained as remnants of abstract dreams fluttered through her consciousness, dissipating with the morning sun. Romy quickly sat up in bed, rubbing her puffy eyes. “Oh god, I need to get ready for this appointment,” she groaned to herself, “Fuck, this is going to be so awkward.” Then, with her stomach in knots, Romy leaped out of bed, selecting an outfit for today.
