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“Oh, okay,” Hannah bites her bottom lip, thinking. “I just thought since he was in Capri with you and Andries––”
“Dan and I are together, actually,” I interrupt, not wanting to talk about Johan anymore. Why does everyone seem so fixated on him?
Hannah gasps in surprise. “I had no idea!”
“It just happened today, actually, so you can stop teasing me about Johan once and for all, thank you very much,” I joke.
“Huh. So that means––”
I whip my head to look at her, and her eyes widen. “That means what, Hannah?”
“That I have a chance?” she says quietly, almost like a question.
I regret the laugh that comes out of me immediately, but I can’t help myself. “What! You’re a fucking baby, Hannah, what do you mean a chance?”
Her briefly open expression shutters. “A baby?” She rolls her eyes. “I’m not only taller than you, but I’m turning sixteen in September.”
“Nope, nope, and nope, forget about it.” I cut my hand through the air, pacing the length of the dressing room now. “Johan is out of the equation. He’s a friend of the family. And that’s it. Are we clear?”
“Fine,” Hannah snaps, crossing her arms. “Well I’ve got things to do, so can you go away now?”
“Gladly,” I reply with just as much vitriol.
Once I’m out in the hallway, Hannah slams the door behind me, causing the light fixtures above to tinkle. I walk back down to the main floor almost in a trance, lost in my thoughts. I just can’t believe that she would be so selfish to be into Johan knowing how much pain our breakup caused me. There’s no way she knows that he wasn’t the one to send the breakup text all those years ago, and the way she just lit up when she found out that I was with Dan really makes me feel like my own sister couldn’t care less about my feelings.
I catch my own reflection in a mirror as I pass, and pause to look at myself. I feel like I look so much older than Hannah, even though she is just two years younger than me, and I can’t help but think about myself at her age. Was it possible that I was just as self-centered and dismissive of everyone else’s feelings?
I hate to admit it but… more than likely, I was. I don’t even like the person I was six months ago, let alone two years ago. If it wasn’t for Dan and his gentle guidance… well, maybe I would still be that little brat––just like Hannah.
Thinking about Dan makes me miss him terribly, and long to get away from my family drama already. I take one more look at my reflection, sigh, and continue towards the front door, trying to discover who exactly I am now if I’m so much different from everyone else in this home.
All I can hope is that I’m better now than I ever was.
22
Dan
I had hopedthat the falling water, cranked up so high that it nearly burns my skin, would be enough to clear my mind of Elise, but it only makes me think about her more. Washing off the traces of our interlude at my parents' house only makes me miss her more. I’ve finally gotten a portion of what I wanted from her––a real relationship––but she still hasn’t told me that she loves me. My need for her seems like it will never be satiated, but hearing her confirm it would go a long way towards putting my soul at some sort of peace.
Being home, a space where I have brought so many women over the years, makes me feel almost guilty for wasting my time when Elise has always been the one for me. Maybe I need to redecorate and fill the refreshed space only with memories of her.
I’ve just rinsed out my shampoo, getting lost in thoughts of breaking in a brand new bed with my brand new girlfriend when I hear my phone begin to ring. I ignore the first call, needing some alone time to process everything, but when it immediately starts ringing a second time, I sigh, giving myself one more second under the water before stepping out onto the heated tile to take the call.
In this short amount of time the second call ends, and whoever is on the other hand doesn’t waste any time in initiating a third call. I quickly grab a towel and rush to answer it, not knowing what to expect. My heart races, wondering if something is wrong with Elise or my parents, but let out a breath when I see that it’s just Andries.
“Hey Andries, what's going on?” I answer, trying to steady my voice and banish the nerves that had just taken me over for a second.
“Hey, man, sorry for the repeated calls.” Andries sounds stressed beyond belief, and any annoyance I may have had for him calling over and over fades. Of course, what he’s going through is stressful, how could I have forgotten?
“No, I’m sorry for not answering right away. I was in the shower, but I should have been quicker. How is everything going? Do you have any updates?”
“Yeah, but they aren’t really good or bad. Sort of middling. Roxanne is back home safely, but she was interrogated by the police for hours. The prosecutor didn't confirm to us if she will lift the charges or not,” Andries answers, frustrated.
“Wow, that's intense. How is Roxanne doing?” I ask, concerned for my friend's fiancé. “She must be exhausted.”
"She's holding up, but it's been a tough day for her. But you know Roxie…” Andries chuckles, but it sounds hollow. “She won’t rest until this is settled. I've already got a hold of Kenneth and we're going to do an interview tomorrow to give our side of the story, and I’m sure it’s going to blow up bigger than anything we’ve been involved with before.”
I think back to how Andries decided to go to war with Sebastian, and how I swore to be on his side. Leaning against the bathroom counter, towel around my waist, I consider how messy this is all going to be, but I’m not overly worried. I’m a background player at most, and while I will play support no matter what, I don’t plan on being dragged fully into the drama of it all.
