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“Fine,” I grumble, running my hand through my hair in annoyance. “But this is the last time I’m going to let you boss me around.”
There is a slight twitch of amusement across Andries’s mouth. “Whatever you need to tell yourself.”
I shoulder past him, pissed off but still understanding why he wants me to talk to his new friend so badly. Johan has to be hurt, and while I obviously wanted him to catch us, I do agree that it’s best that he doesn’t leave with a sour taste in his mouth regarding my brother, Dan, and me.
I don’t know if I’ll be able to get him to be friendly with Dan after what he saw this afternoon, but at the very least I can patch things up concerning my brother and me.
Johan’s door is only slightly cracked, but I don’t want to knock and give him the chance to shut it and lock me out. I push it open slowly, giving him plenty of warning that someone is entering. When he sees it’s me, his neutral expression turns dark.
“What could you possibly want, Elise? I was under the impression you were…busy.”
“Dan and I just got back,” I tell him honestly. “Andries is pretty upset you’re leaving and wanted me to come check up on you.”
He scoffs. “Yeah, right.”
“I’m not lying,” I insist, but he’s giving me the cold shoulder now, pretending that I don’t exist while he folds his clothes and places each item neatly into his suitcase. I cross my arms, tapping my foot as I wait for him to acknowledge me, but it’s becoming clearer by the second that he’s serious about shutting me out completely. He takes his phone out for a moment, answering a text message, but once he’s done the phone goes right back into his pocket and he’s back to ignoring me.
“Johan––” I try, but he turns and glares at me.
“The message was clear, El. I’ll leave you and Dan alone. I’m sorry that I ever came to Capri…”
I approach him slowly, and to my surprise, he allows me, dropping the shirt he’s folding as I come close. His shoulders sag, before he sits on the bed, scrubbing his hands through his hair a few times in clear frustration. I sit next to him, waiting until he lets his hands fall to his sides to the mattress to place one of mine over his.
“Johan, it has still been amazing seeing you again. It allowed us to talk and clear up all the confusion about the ghosting thing, but now––”
“What if it was Dan who did that to screw us over?” he interposes so quickly that it catches me off guard.
Looking at his face, there seems to be a war between understanding and the surprising amount of anger he’s holding about what he saw this afternoon. Even though I swore I wouldn’t feel bad about it, a little seed of guilt starts to bury itself into me.
“Dan?” I laugh, shaking my head. “Like, on his own without my brother knowing about it?”
“Yes, that’s exactly what I mean. That dude seems totally fucked up and super possessive. How long has he had his eyes on you?”
“I guarantee even if he was attracted to me back then, Dan wasn’t possessive of his best friend’s fifteen year old sister!” My tone is incredulous. “I’m sure it wasn’t him. He didn’t even know about you until he found a photo of us a month ago or so. Plus he would have no way of accessing my phone back then.”
Johan doesn’t seem like he believes me, but he’s fooling himself. “Are you sure he isn’t lying?”
“Positive. Whoever it was, it wasn’t Dan.”
“Alright…” Johan sighs heavily. “So you and him…. It’s not just a summer fling, is it?”
The question gives me pause, and I turn it over in my mind a few times before answering. I’m still not being completely honest with myself, but I don’t want to lie to Johan, either. “I don’t know what the future holds for Dan and me. For now, I’m enjoying his company, and he’s enjoying mine.”
“Then why aren’t the two of you officially together?” He turns away from me now, looking out the window in his suite and out into the city. “You guys behave like a couple, but just pretending you’re a casual fling is going to end up getting people hurt.” He pauses, thinking. “It hasalreadygotten people hurt, I should say.”
That little bit of guilt flares up in me again. “We’re just taking our time. Plus, my brother would totally freak out. Dan is his best friend, after all, and with all the shitty things our parents are putting him through I don’t want to add to his misery.”
Johan huffs a sardonic laugh. “So is it only because of your brother, then?”
“Like I said, we’re also just taking our time. I’m not ready to declare what we have going on as something serious yet.” I level a meaningful look at him, even if he is only looking at me from the corner of his eye. “You know the last time I was serious about someone, they ghosted me for years.”
“El…” he mutters, sounding exhausted.
“I know it wasn’t your fault, but it left a hole in me nonetheless. It felt like betrayal, and it still does in some ways. It’s still going to take some time for me to move past that.”
“I get that,” Johan admits reluctantly. There’s a long pause in our conversation, both of us thinking about what could have been of us if things had been different. After some time, Johan speaks again. “I’m leaving tomorrow. Tell your brother my decision is final. He clearly didn’t know shit about how serious your relationship between you and Dan was or else he would have never invited me here to be the third wheel.”
“I’m so sorry about all of this,” I wince, knowing he’s right. “Can we still be friends, though? My parents really want to see you again, so let’s still have that dinner at home when I get back.” When Johan doesn’t respond, I add, “I’m sure Hannah would be delighted to give you an update on her collection of random things she’s accumulated over the years.”
