AllFreeNovel
Share Us
Feelingthat this is still very painful,Isteer the conversation in a different direction. “Sowhat’s on the schedule first?Fishing?Hiking?”
Heholds his hand out to me.Ifinish the rest of my coffee, scoot closer, and take his hand in mine.Witha quick jerk, he pulls me down next to him and bumps my hat off my head.Hiseyes look so sad.Hequickly closes them, as ifImight see more thanIshould, and squeezes me to his body.
“I’vemissed you so fucking much, little brother,” he says with a crack in his voice.
Islip my leg between his and bury my face against his hair.Hesmells like cool water and withering leaves.Wewrap our bodies around one another, and he hugs me as if his life depends on it.
Ireach up and caress his jaw. “I’mhere now.Justdon’t shut me out.”
“I’msorry,” he says with a shaky breath.
“Iknow,Luke.Iknow.Sheknows too.”
“Istill don’t thinkIcan do this, not now.”
Imove my thumb over his lips. “It’sokay.Rightnow, you don’t have to do anything.We’rejust going to spend time together, and we can do whatever you want.Wedon’t even have to talk about it.”
Suddenlyhe whips my body underneath his and holds my face in his hand.Hisgaze studies my features and searches my eyes.Itry to ignore that our closeness has made both our dicks hard, but it’s fucking impossible.
“Canwe stay like this?”Hisforehead drops to mine. “Canwe just hold each other?IknowI’masking too much…butI…I…”
“Shh!”Ikiss his cheek. “Ijust want you back.”
Hedrags his hips over mine, and we both groan at the contact.Heshifts away as he moves his head to my shoulder.
“I’mso tired,” he whispers. “Idon’t have the strength anymore.”
Myheart aches becauseIknow it’s not only that he’s physically tired.Heis tired from holding all his feelings at bay.Heis tired of hurting and being hurt.
Icaress his back and grip his hip, pulling him closer. “Rest.Sleep.I’mnot going anywhere.”
Hereaches up and caresses my face.Myheart skips a beat when he slips his thumb between my lips.Hisskin tastes like coffee grounds and ash.WhenIstart to gently suck, he moans against my neck and rocks his hips.Histhumb moves back and forth between my lips whileIattempt to keep it in my mouth.Hislips press against my throat with whisper-light kisses.Ihold him tighter, longing for a closenessIshouldn’t desire.
Itis only when his thumb stops moving and his hand goes limp, thatIrealize he’s fallen asleep.Icarefully move his hand down to my chest soIcan hold it in mine.Hetwitches a little but doesn’t wake.Isoak in the closeness and bask in the warmth and weight of his body.
Thebirds are starting to chirp outside the tent as the dark is chased away by the sunrise.Iclose my eyes tight, shutting out the light soIcan only be withLuke.Iwant to be this close to him and lose myself in the knowledge that he wants that too.
4
Luke
I’mawake long beforeIopen my eyes.Ithas been almost a week sinceIslept so soundly.I’mcurious how longI’veslept, but not enough to stirEvanand wake him.
Ileft on purpose.Iwanted…no,Ineeded, to get away from them both soIcould think, butI’vebeen a fucking mess.Sincethe minuteIpulled him into my arms,I’vewondered why in the hellIeven left.
Ishut the thoughts down and concentrate on his shallow breathing.Hemust have left really early this morning to get here before sunrise.Ilet my hand slide up his back.Istayed in my tent for several hours beforeIfinally gave up and made coffee.Itwasn’t even daylight.Ican’t describe the reliefIfelt whenIsaw him appear out of the dim dawn light.
Nothinghas changed when it comes to my feelings.Ilove them both as much, if not more thanIdid whenIleft.It’sstill going to break my heart when he leaves for good.Thedifference is thatIhadRachel, and she would be here when he left.Thatisn’t true anymore.
Ihave lost her too.
Evanrolls away and onto his back next to me, causing me to open my eyes.Thesun seems to be high in the sky.Mystomach grumbles, further verifying the lateness of the day.Carefulnot to wake him,Islip out of the tent and stretch.Thehorses are grazing a few feet away, and the fire has gone out.
Aftershedding my coat,Ilose the rest of my clothes.Ifeel so groggy.Hopefully, the cold water of the river will wake me.Istop to scratch and pet both horses before walking to the water’s edge where the water is deep.Idive in, and my entire body tenses from the intense shock of cold, and my ribs feel like they are being kicked all over again.Iemerge from the water gasping for breath.
Ittakes several minutes before my body temperature adjusts soI’mnot freezing.Atleast it is warmer today.Thesun feels good on my shoulders.Closingmy eyes,Ilie back and float.Thisis probably my favorite thing to do whenI’mhere.Icould float for hours in the water under the warm sun.Iallow the water to carry me so the weight feels less heavy.KnowingEvanis close makes it easier to breathe.
Suddenly, there is a splash, knocking me to my feet in the water.Evanbolts up from the water.
