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I nod. Instinct. And since I have to make him throw up having him outside is going to be better anyway. Zeus is near the back deck, taking a few steps and retching, pawing at his face. “I think he’s having an allergic reaction. I brought this.” I hold up the bottle. “You need to help me have him swallow it.”
Sam nods, gathering Zeus to him like it doesn’t take any effort.
“I hope you don’t like those clothes,” I say. “This is going to make him puke.”
“Is that good for him?”
I open the bottle and get a dropper full of the liquid. “It’s the fastest way, and we want it out of him fast.”
Zeus doesn’t want to take the medicine. I wouldn’t either. It’s a struggle to get his mouth open and hold it open while he’s retching, but Sam makes a valiant effort. Together we get his mouth open long enough to get the vial of fluid down his throat. He runs off immediately and the liquid only takes a minute to kick in. He vomits violently across the yard, but the minute he does you can see that he feels better. Immediately he comes back to us, still retching, but not as much. He nudges his head against my leg, and I lean down to hug him. “It’s okay, boy.” I look up at Sam. “We should get some water in him.”
“Yeah. Come on boy.” Zeus follows slowly and gratefully drinks from the water Sam sets out on the deck. “Will he be all right out here for a while?”
I nod. “He should be fine. Keep an eye on him. He’ll probably throw up again, that’s normal.”
“Thank you,” he says, genuine gratitude in his voice, “for coming.”
“You’re welcome.” And I can’t stay. I thought I could, but I’m not ready. I turn and slip back inside.
Sam follows. “Fiona, wait.”
“Rose already tried, Sam. We said a lot of things this morning, and I thought that I was ready to talk again, but I don’t think I am.”
“I know that you’re angry, and you have every right to be, but please, listen.”
I shake my head. “I want to. I really do. But I think I need to go home right now. It hurts, and I need it to just not hurt for a little while.” I take a step backward and run right into his kitchen table. It sets me off balance, and I almost fall, knocking a stack of papers onto the floor while I try to right myself. “Shit, I’m sorry.” Crouching down onto the floor, I start to gather up the papers, when I see a name I recognize: Lacy Davis. I look up at Sam, and he’s staring at me with an expression somewhere between horror and relief. I unfold one of the papers, and read. It’s a confirmation of a wire transfer. Twenty-thousand dollars to Lacy David. It’s dated last month.
I flip through the papers on the floor. All slips of paper telling me that he’s been giving her every month for years. “What the hell is this?”
“Will you listen?” he asks. “Really listen?” He holds out a hand and I take it.
“I will,” I say, because there’s no way I’m leaving this house without knowing what that money is for. “But I’m going to need a drink.”
Sam pours me one, and we go back out onto the porch where we can keep an eye on Zeus while we talk. I don’t think I’m going to be doing much of the talking.
He clears his throat. “This morning, after you left, I did some thinking. And I realized that this is silly. That this whole thing between us has gotten so out of hand, and you’re right, you need to know. And that after ten years, even if everything comes out, it will be all right. The truth will out, or whatever that quote is.” He takes a long sip of his drink.
“That night, when I left to go to the bathroom, Lacy cornered me. She told me that she had information that would ruin my family, and that if I didn’t come with her right that second that I would be sorry in the morning. She was clearly drunk, and her lipstick was smudged all to hell, like she’d been having sex with someone. But I’d known enough drunk people to know that they don’t bluff. So I went with her.
“I thought she might be trying to get me outside for sex, in which case I would have left. She did try to kiss me, but I wouldn’t let her. But then she told me the truth: that she’d found out that my father was her father too. My dad cheated on my mom and had another child, and we never knew. My mother never knew. And when Lacy found out—she’d found out from a family relative that she’d reconnected with, and confirmed with her mother, she was angry. Lacy was poor, and once she found out that she was really a Logan she felt cheated. She wanted the life that we had, and she demanded it—twenty thousand dollars every month or she would go to the papers. She would go to my mother. She’d go to everyone who would listen and tell them the truth about Logan Sr.’s secret love child.”
