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“That’s it.” I could hear Gage in the distance. “Fucking hell, baby.”
My body shook with his savage pounding, and my pleasure only increased.
“GAH!” Gage shouted, and the warmth of his release rushed inside of me. “Take it,” he groaned. “Take all of me.” His hips jerked, and he stilled.
My eyes opened as I gasped for air, and his amber gaze was fixed on me. We sat there like that for several moments, silent. I knew even without remembering sex that this was normal. This was special. It had to be. What I had just felt wasn’t some cheap way to get off. There had been more to it. I didn’t care what he said—this was not just sex.
Gage pulled out of me, and the moment was over. He wasn’t going to let it be more. I started to get down, and he stopped me, then wrapped his hands around my waist to set me down. I looked up at him, wanting to see something in his gaze that gave me any clue that he felt this too. That I wasn’t alone in this.
He smirked as if he’d done what he had set out to do. Fuck me out of his system. Had he also meant to break me? It felt like my heart was breaking as we stood there. He didn’t hold me or say anything sweet. This was what he’d meant by fucking. No emotions.
Well, joke’s on you, Gage Presley, I thought.
My eyes stung, and I looked away then. I would not let this man see me cry. This was done, and I would leave here with some sort of pride. When I was alone, I could fall apart.
“Shiloh.”
I didn’t look at him. I was afraid I’d start crying if I did. How was it possible to hate someone and want them at the same time?
“Shiloh,” he said again as he grabbed my chin and forced my head in his direction.
I knew my eyelashes were wet, and I tried to jerk my face free from his grip, but he firmly held on. I was angry that he was making me do this. Taking the tiny little shred of pride I had left, I lifted my tear-filled eyes and glared at him.
“What?” I had meant for it to sound angry, but it had come out as a sob instead.
His nostrils flared. “Why are you crying?”
I laughed then and shook my head hard, finally freeing myself from his grip. “Just let me go.”
Gage pushed me back again with his body blocking me in.
What now? He’d fucked me. Used me. Proven his point.
“Tell me why you’re crying.”
“Does it matter?” I asked, looking up at him.
For a moment, it was there. The brief glimpse of something more. A feeling that went deeper.
“Yes, it matters. We just had fucking incredible sex,” he said as he brushed a tear away with his thumb.
“I …” Pausing, I tried to think of how to explain this without opening myself up bare.
But then did it really matter now? Why couldn’t I just tell him the truth? He’d been brutal with me. This ended after today. I’d never get a chance to tell him again. I hadn’t been one to hold back before. Why let him turn me into that?
“Because I didn’t expect to feel something that strong. To you, it was great sex. To me, it was more. You don’t feel anything deeper. What we had was over years ago.” I wiped at my face as tears continued to escape. “But to me, this is new, and it’s not just sex. It’s a connection, and I have all these emotions where you’re concerned that I’ve never had.”
His mouth covered mine, silencing my words. I tasted the salt from my tears as he made me forget for a moment why my chest hurt. The gentle way his lips moved over mine made the rest of my world fade away. He controlled me in these moments. He owned me, and I thought he knew it.
When he ended the kiss, pulling back, he stared down at me. “I’m sorry. I let my need to be inside of you again, to feel that, control my actions. I didn’t consider you. I should have. You’re not the same girl who left me. You don’t deserve the way I’ve treated you.”
Each word out of his mouth was like a splinter in my soul. I could see the goodbye in his eyes. I had chosen honesty, and this was the price I would pay.
“I can’t do this.” His voice was tight as he said it. “As much as I fucking want to. As badly as my body is already craving you again. I can’t. Go upstairs, pack your things. I’ll have a car take you home.”
With that, he finished twisting the knife in my gut and then shoved it into my chest.
Twenty-Seven
