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“The other people I help are grateful I’m there,” I tell him, cocking an eyebrow in challenge. “Are you sure you want me to come back?”
“Who else will protect me from Rachel?”
I chuckle as I take a step back.
“I think I love your smile, Sunshine. I’d like to see it more often.”
The grin slides right off my face, the taunting I heard incessantly as a child coming back full force.
“I’ll see you at six, Mr. Porter.”
“I’m going to make you like me,” he yells at my back as I leave the room.
In my haste to get away from him, I completely forget to take him a wheelchair, but honestly, the man is capable of using his call light to get the help he needs.
I find myself driving to McDonald’s to grab Ryder a chicken nugget meal on the way home as a sort of a celebration because my patient woke up today. I’m also ecstatic that he’s willing to let me keep working for him, despite knowing how macho he must be. I know the man doesn’t want the help, but maybe he’s smart enough to understand that he needs it right now.
I feel a certain thrill thinking about my day. It started out terribly. If Brent hadn’t told me that my voice calms him, that just hearing it puts him at ease, I probably would’ve cried while recalling the events of my morning. I was miserable walking into work this morning. The double shifts are starting to take their toll, but I know it’s not forever. He woke up today. He’ll get stronger and less reliant on me with every passing day.
I’m a little later than I normally would be picking Ryder up, and it garners me a not-so-pleasant look when I walk through the front door of the daycare.
“You’re normally here by three thirty,” the woman at the front desk says when I step inside.
“Aren’t you open until six?” I ask.
The nod of her head and the snooty look in her eyes makes me see red.
“Does the tuition I pay not cover me from open to close?”
“Of course it does, Sunshine.”
“Ms. Holt,” I correct, wondering when it became okay for someone, especially a girl several years younger than me, to get such an attitude. The entitlement drives me insane.
“Mommy!”
I turn, the snarl on my face instantly transforming into my best smile.
They’re never fake where Ryder is concerned.
He waits patiently for the worker to unlock the door so he can run to me. She hands me a plastic bag with clothing in it.
“Again?” I whisper, putting my hand on Ryder’s back as he hugs my leg.
She nods, a sincere apology in her eyes.
“He didn’t say anything. We’ve discussed him not needing permission to run to the restroom.”
“I forgot,” he says when I look down at him.
“It’s okay, buddy. Accidents happen.” I look up at her, mouthing an apology. “I’ll make sure to bring an extra set of clothes tomorrow.”
She nods at me before telling Ryder goodbye.
I help my son into his booster seat. The bathroom accidents didn’t start until after the incident with Travis getting arrested.
I’ve worried about the trauma it’s caused Ryder. Of course, my mother says he’s just being stubborn, waiting too long to go pee, but I really think there’s more to it than that. I could see Travis raising his voice if Ryder bothered him at the wrong time. It’s why my son has been in daycare even when Travis was out of work.
It’s crazy how easily I can see all the red flags now that I’ve removed myself from the situation, but there are days when I have to wonder if the damage has been done, and I waited too long.
“I grabbed you a Happy Meal,” I tell him, handing it to him when I climb inside the car.
“What are you eating?”
A huge helping of mom guilt, kiddo.
“Mommy is going to have a delicious sandwich when we get home.”
“Can we play Hungry-Hungry Hippo?”
“Of course, bud, but I’ll need you to take a quick bath first.”
Chapter 10
Bishop
I jerk awake, the too-real dream clinging to me like poison.
My eyes dart around the room, and for a brief second, there’s some confusion, but I quickly remember where I am and what has happened. I sigh in relief that I didn’t slip back into a coma or forget what happened earlier today after my month-long absence.
Pain, not the physical kind but the emotional kind that’s nearly impossible to get away from, covers me like a wet blanket, clinging to me and weighing me down.
The television is on with no sound, and when I roll my head on my pillow, I see Sunshine sitting off to the side, her eyes glued to it. She doesn’t appear to be watching it but rather just looking in that general direction.
I watch in the faint light coming from the screen as a tear rolls down her cheek. Her lip quivers, but her reaction doesn’t quite fit the episode of Wheel of Fortune playing on the television. She’s lost in thought, something in her head taking over.
