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“I don’t know anymore,” I admitted, which only increased my agitation. Why didn’t I know? When did I ever not know, especially when it came to challenges and mysteries? “After what happened with Cole, and after thinking about what Benjamin put those three students through… I don’t even mind that he’s dead. The fucker deserved it.”
“That’s your anger talking.”
“Sometimes, anger is righteous,” I pushed. “Just because I’m angry doesn’t mean I’m wrong.”
“It also doesn’t mean you’re right.”
“I can’t do this,” I said, pushing past him. Instead of swirling together, my thoughts ping-ponged around my head like I was a damn pinball machine. But it all came back to one, singular fact: I didn’t know how to proceed. I had zero idea of what the next step could possibly be. “I’m going to go about my day like normal, and hopefully, I’ll think of a plan of action. If you have any suggestions, let me know.”
He followed me into the bathroom.
“You’re not working today, are you? Gods, Gray, you need rest.”
“I need answers.” The door shut with finality, and Razai didn’t say another word. When I came out fifteen minutes later, he was already in the training yard as students filtered into attendance.
Even though I had the determination of a bull, answers avoided me. The workday dragged. Quinn brought me a small get-well package full of tea and vitamin gummies; she’d been informed that I’d fallen ill.
This was the highlight of my whole day.
A couple of students came into my office for meetings, and I tried to use my truth-telling power on them. But even that failed, since my magic was unwilling to speak to me at the moment.
Everything was wrong.
Nothing led me in the right direction.
By the end of the day, I’d fully convinced myself that I was likely better off giving up on this mystery entirely. What was the point of trying if I’d already lost?
Ember found me as I packed up and turned the office lights off. She crossed her arms and glared. “What the fuck is wrong with you?”
“Why don’t you tell me? I have a feeling you’ve already decided.”
“You avoided all of my calls and texts after you disappeared, and I had to come here and find out from Quinn that you were sick!”
“You’re not my mom or my wife, Ember. I don’t have to check in with you every time I sneeze.”
“Oh? So this has nothing to do with the fact that you weren’t able to answer a text? Or the fact that Cole and Company were also out? Haven’t come back, actually.”
“Is that so?” I said, uninterested. “You must be relieved.”
“I am, actually,” she confirmed. There was a warble in her voice that wasn’t quite there before. “Gray.”
This time, I looked up.
Her eyes glinted with tears as she fought them back. She wanted to look away, but she was too angry. Too hurt.
In fact, it was the first time I’d really gotten a true glimpse of her fear. She’d been scared before, when Cole had cornered her or hurt her, but that was in the moment. My heart tightened with the obvious, logical reality.
Even when he wasn’t around, she was still scared. That shit doesn’t just disappear. When she noticed I was gone and Cole was gone, Ember connected the dots that no one else even noticed.
“Fuck,” I stated, my barrier breaking.
We moved at the same time, her with a trembling lip and me with open arms. I scooped her into an embrace and squeezed. Her body shook. This cute, powerful, fiery fae woman who put on a brave face and fought her battles alone had finally reached her limit.
“I’m sorry,” I whispered. “I didn’t mean to scare you.”
“You’re such a bad friend,” she half-sobbed, half-laughed.
My jaw clenched. Gods, I was an idiot. A self-centered imbecile who put her entire heart into the two words, “I’m sorry.”
