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Chapter Forty-Six
I floated for a long, long while. It could have been hours. A whole eternity. Eternity felt more likely, considering my body was so stiff and my muscles so weak. My eyes cracked open, expecting to see dark stone walls and three high-as-fuck archangels about to chop me into pieces.
But of course, I rested in a much warmer place. And this bed was way too comfy for them to have put me into it. The room was unfamiliar, but whatever drugs ran through my bloodstream kept me from considering it too closely.
All I knew was it was beige and white. It smelled like herbs, and the cotton blankets kept me warm beneath the crisp air conditioning.
Razai was there too. Sometimes.
I’d come out of my dizzying stupor to find him cradling my hand and playing with my fingers, or lounging in a chair and reading an old book. Usually, he’d glance up, smile, and say something stupid like, “You have drool on your mouth,” or, “You’re shockingly beautiful, even after surgery. That’s an impressive skill, you know.”
Ridiculous things.
Other times, I’d wake up to an empty, quiet room. Only the drip of my IV or the beep of the machines to keep me company.
After what felt like days of loneliness, Razai appeared again. The curtains had been closed, and he held my hand again.
I opened my dry mouth and asked, “What… how long…”
He studied my eyes. Searching for what, I had no idea. The lamp light glowed like gold on his skin. “You’ve been down for nearly two days. You did well. Lost a lot of blood from that stab wound, third degree burns on your other leg, and you seemed to have experienced a form of magical shock. Which is rare, apparently, so congratulations. You’ve managed to surprise my healer. A difficult thing to do, considering me, but then again, you’re special.”
My eyes wanted to drift shut again, even as I tried to pry them wide open.
Razai brushed my cheek with the back of his hand. Softly. Tenderly. “I didn’t mean to wake you. I’ll check again in a few hours. Azra knows you’re here as well, and she’s flaming mad. Wouldn’t call her if I were you. Or if you were me. Mostly me. I’m going to avoid her for the rest of my days. She’s so scary, I—”
He stared down at his hand, which I squeezed with weak fingers.
“Don’t… go,” I said, and pulled. “Please.” Had it only been two days? Because right now, all I could think about was a hug. Any sort of contact—
No. Not any sort. I had to be honest with myself.
I wanted him. Razai.
I wanted him like I wanted water on a hot day. A sweater on a cool one. I wanted him like I wanted to see Azra’s smile or hear Dad’s deep chuckle over the phone.
It was a need just as important as water and sunlight. Every cell in my body wanted him next to me.
Razai paused. “You’re drugged, Gray. I’ll sit here for a while longer, but—”
“I won’t be mad,” I protested. “Later, I mean. I won’t be mad at you. Just do as I say for once, you dickhead.”
This managed to make him laugh. The hesitation fluttered away. “Alright. If you insist. But you’re going to have to not hog the blankets. So greedy…”
“Fuck off,” I grumbled, scooting myself over and wincing at the movement. At least I could move my legs without wanting to die. Sounded like this healer knew what they were doing.
He walked around the small hospital bed and gingerly settled himself beside me. The bed creaked and caved with his weight, rolling me solidly against his hard body.
So warm. And he smells so nice, doesn’t he?
“Well, shit, Detective,” he murmured. “If I didn’t know any better, I’d say you just relaxed. Missed me that much?”
“I sleep with a body pillow,” I joked. “You’re the closest replacement I could find. Don’t worry. I’ll leave you a nice tip.”
He tilted my head to rest in the crook of his neck. “Ah, yes. That makes much more sense. For a moment, I worried that you actually started liking me.”
“Preposterous,” I yawned, snuggling closer. My pride could kick my ass later. This felt way, way too good. He was like a living shot of vodka. Just enough to soothe my mind and my body.
Damn. I’m really high, aren’t I?
