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“You never told them?” Tanner’s voice is higher than normal.
“No. As much as breaking up hurt, I wasn’t about to out you, not even to my parents. I’m sorry. I’m turning everything sour.” I try to pull away to get to my feet.
“You’re not.” He holds me tight, forbidding me from leaving the security of his lap. “Stay.”
I stop resisting and snuggle closer to him as I trust he knows what I need.
“You’re right,” Tanner says. “Our memories of the past are always going to be tainted by secrecy.”
“I wouldn’t use the word tainted—” I begin.
“I would. And I’m sorry for that.”
“You had your reasons.”
“I was afraid.” His tone is blunt. “I believed I couldn’t have a career as a rugby player as an openly gay man. I was wrong. I won’t say it’s been easy since I came out. Most of the academy players and my current teammates are supportive, but not all the fans are. I get heckled at the start of matches and if I fuck up on the pitch, but I’ve learnt to live with it.”
“You shouldn’t have to live with it.” I grit my teeth.
Tanner chuckles. “No, but sadly, that’s not the world we live in. The way I see it, I’m paving the way for anyone who comes after me. If I can show one person that it’s okay to be openly gay in rugby, I’ll be happy.”
I lift my head so I can stare at him. He’s got so much more conviction than when he was eighteen. He’s much bolder and braver now. It’s sexy. “I’m glad everything worked out for you.”
“From what you’ve said, the same can be said for you.”
I rub my neck. “Yeah, I guess so.”
I’ve got a good degree and the job I always wanted, yet something’s missing. I know what it is—someone to spend my life with. My own happily ever after. Once upon a time, I imagined myself and Tanner growing old together. Now I don’t know what I’m looking for.
“Go out with me tomorrow night,” Tanner says.
I blink. “Come again?”
“I want to take you out to dinner. We never went out on a date together, and I want to make that up to you.”
“What do you call this?”
He chuckles. “A chance meeting in a kink club?” He gestures at the people around us. “Which has been wonderful. But I want to spoil you, Wren. I want to do the things I should have done five years ago.”
“I’m not sure you could have afforded to wine and dine me when we were eighteen.”
“No, but I can now.” He squeezes my knee. “I want to take you out for dinner. I want to be your Daddy for another evening.” He brushes his lips over my hair. “Now that we’ve found each other again, I want to make some new memories. Ones that aren’t tainted by secrecy. But you have to want that too.”
I hitch in a breath. “I do.”
He smiles. “That makes me happier than you’ll ever know. Do you like Mediterranean food?”
I shrug. “I don’t know.”
“Let’s find out. There’s a restaurant called A.O.K on Dorset Street, between Marble Arch and Baker Street tube stations. Meet me there at seven.”
I raise my eyebrows. “That sounds like it might be expensive.”
“Let me spoil you, boy.” It’s not a command, but it makes me shiver as though it is one.
“All right.”
He tilts my face up and runs his thumb over my bottom lip. “Tomorrow.”
