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That statement told Josiah one thing for sure: Carol Pearce hadn’t died of natural causes.
Josiah put his wineglass down, took Michael’s from him and did the same. Then he took Michael’s hands in his and squeezed, urging Michael to look at him. Michael angled his way but his eyes stayed down, his mouth a flat line.
“Dad found her in the barn,” Michael said, his hoarse voice barely above a whisper. “I was having trouble passing my driver’s test, so Dad took me out after dinner to practice driving. We were only gone for about two hours, because it was Tuesday, and we had a lineup of favorite sitcoms we watched as a family on Tuesday night. It was our must-see-TV night. But when we got home, Mom wasn’t in the house. We checked every room, then went outside and started calling her name.”
The naked emotions in Michael’s voice punched Josiah right in his heart, and his throat tightened with grief for what was still unsaid. Josiah hated putting Michael through this pain, but it was also the big secret that had kept Michael and Elmer at odds for so many years.
Michael looked up, his dark eyes swimming with misery and glistening with tears. “It took a little while for the county sheriff and state police to piece it all together, but a vagrant named Silas Dufresne had snuck into the barn to rip us off, steal tools and whatever else he could pawn. Mom must have heard something and surprised him, because he hit her in the head with a crowbar and ran.” He blinked hard, leaving his lashes wet, and Josiah wanted to weep. “By the time Dad found her, she was already gone.”
“Michael, I am so sorry. So freaking sorry.”
“Thanks.”
“But they caught the guy?”
“Yeah. Dumbass hitched to Amarillo and tried to pawn a socket set with Dad’s name on it. The cops had just circulated a memo with our stolen items, so they were able to pick him up. Got twenty years for murder two. But even that sentence didn’t fix the huge rift between me and Dad. I blamed him because Mom had asked him for weeks to fix the front gate. He blamed me for not passing that stupid driving test the first time, sure if we’d been home Mom wouldn’t have been killed. I definitely inherited my temper from him, so the anger and resentment just festered until we both exploded. Every bad thing I ever thought about my father, every jab I could take about him losing the herd and selling the horses, I blasted at him like machine-gun fire until our relationship was torn to shreds.” Michael sighed deeply. “I did the same thing with Kenny.”
Josiah’s hands jerked and he released Michael’s. “What do you mean?” He’d seen hints of Michael’s temper peek through over the last two months, but this was the first he’d heard of Michael having any sort of altercation with his ex.
“We had a pretty huge fight about a year ago. As much as I want to pretend everything was always great between us, and that him cheating on me had come out of the blue, it didn’t. Not really. After our first app took off, we were under a lot of pressure to come up with the next big thing. We had money, but it was never enough for Kenny. Never enough money, never a big enough party, never enough blog articles written about us. The more pressure he put on me, the more I resented him and our success, and I let it bottle up. I started drinking heavily, pretty much all day long, for weeks. I was that metaphorical champagne bottle that keeps getting shaken, and at some point, you can’t keep it in and you explode. I exploded.
“I got ripping drunk, destroyed my office and then passed out on a raft in the middle of our pool. I was honestly lucky I didn’t fall off and drown. Kenny was pissed when he found me. He shoved me into rehab for fourteen days, and when I got out, everything was different. I didn’t see it then, but that was the beginning of the end of us. It just took another half a year for me to figure it out.”
Michael drew Josiah’s hands into his lap and held them there, his expression more naked than Josiah had ever seen before. “I’m really good at ruining the relationships I have with people, Josiah, but I’m not the guy who passed out in a fancy pool anymore. I’m definitely not the angry teenager who couldn’t pass his driving test or see his father was grieving as badly as he was. I drove back into Weston in September with a clean slate, a new man, and I think that man could be very good at being in a relationship with you. If you’ll take a chance on me.”
Whoa.Their conversation had gone from first date to serious relationship in less than thirty minutes. Josiah stared at their joined hands, his mind whirring with all the information he’d been given tonight. Michael had been incredibly honest with him, peeling back painful layers and showing Josiah bits of his worst self. His worst impulses and the things that still haunted the far recesses of his conscious mind.
Some of those impulses worried him, thanks to the bullshit he’d put up with from Seamus. But Seamus and Michael were nothing alike, not in temperament or their personal lives. Seamus was angry, resentful, and so deep in the closet he’d probably forgotten what the light looked like. Meanwhile, Michael was self-aware, maybe a little lost in terms of his future, and very much comfortable with who he was as a gay man in a small town.
Michael was someone Josiah could see himself with years down the road, happy and in love, and as equal partners. “Do you think we could put ther-word away for a while,” Josiah asked, “and just do the dating thing first? Maybe do the relationship thing down the road?”
“Of course.” Michael raised Josiah’s right hand and kissed the knuckles in a sweet, promising gesture. “I want to do this right. If you ever feel like I’m pressuring you, tell me to back off and I will. If you think I’m moving too slow, well, you take the lead and I’ll follow. This can be something really great. I believe that. And I’m pretty sure Dad is rooting for us, too.”
“Of course, he is. Was Elmer in on dinner at the Woods house so you and I could have some privacy tonight?”
“Yeah, that was all Dad. He told me this morning before I left for work, so I swung by the store for groceries on the way home.”
“He’s a devious old man, gotta give him that.”
“He just wants us both to be happy, and he’s very much Team Dating. So am I, actually. You?”
Josiah chuckled. “I’m on board with it. And since we’ve agreed to the dating thing, there’s something I’ve wanted to do since dinner. My way of thanking the chef for a fantastic meal.”
“Something besides doing the dishes?”
“Oh yes, something much more personal that I’ve missed this past week.”
A too-innocent smile quirked his lips. “Oh? Stargazing?”
Tired of words, Josiah leaned in and kissed Michael, a firm press of heat and softness accompanied by the bitter taste of wine. Michael moaned softly and parted his lips, his tongue flicking out to caress the seam of Josiah’s mouth. Exploring without deepening or demanding.
Movie forgotten, real world just a dream now, Josiah existed in that kiss for a long, long time.
Chapter Nineteen
Kissing Josiah as frequently as possible became a new kind of wonderful game for Michael over the next two weeks. Quick pecks in the morning when they passed each other in the front door. Longer kisses stolen in the kitchen while putting their dinner plates together (Josiah no longer ate alone in his trailer). Making out in the trailer on weekends when they had more time alone together. They kissed and hugged and touched above the waist, and as much as Michael longed to go further, he wasn’t going to push.
McBride had no leads on who’d attacked Josiah. As his bruises faded, Josiah’s confidence and sense of safety returned. He still slept and kept his clothes in the trailer, but he spent most of his time at the house, either working or simply existing with Michael and Dad.
