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“Tell me something about you, Zeke. Something that no one else knows,” I ask, laying my head on his shoulder needing something to take my mind off the weight of today.
Zeke looks at me with a shit-eating grin on his face then leans in to whisper into my ear. “A better man would walk away from you, but it turns out I’m a bad man that doesn’t play by the rules.” This man will be the death of me and my panties.
Chapter 9
Angel
ThedoorclosesbehindCassie and Zeke, leaving me alone with Gabe. Just the two of us, only this time is different. It’s just me and the shell of the man that brought me to life. There’s no battle for control where he lets me win, no smart-mouthed banter or desire filling the room like electrifying waves.
The cold and eerie feeling of the room has my anxiety sinking deeper into my chest. The room is gloomy and quiet except for the sound coming from the machines hooked up to Gabriel. Chills shoot down my spine, causing me to tremble as the worrying and fear hits me harder than I had anticipated.
There are no flowers or get well soon cards, just medical equipment and no sign of family or friends being here.
I think about how the guys and my mom must have felt sitting by my bedside, waiting for me to wake up. They spent a week at my side, hoping and praying for my recovery. I’ve been in this room a few minutes and already feel the hopelessness setting in.
Has anyone been here by Gabe’s side? Did he have anyone to hold his hand and pray for him? Dante has been gone for days now, searching for King, so I know he wasn’t here. But there’s a huge part of me that wishes he was here with Gabe instead of out there on a manhunt.
Taking Gabriel’s hand in mine as a flood of emotions comes over me. The greatest of them is vulnerable. His skin is cold, which is completely opposite from the normal heat his body gives off anytime I’ve ever been near him.
In my mind, Gabriel has always been larger than life, unstoppable, unbreakable—bullet proof even. But that isn’t the case at all. Gabriel is just a man—a man that took three bullets to the chest, yet somehow survived.
Maybe he has superhuman strength after all. He will make it through this. He has to for me and for Dante.
The moment I jumped in front of a bullet for this man flashes through my head. My body took action before my brain could even catch up. I had just ended whatever this thing is that’s been going on between us. I can’t explain what we’ve been doing. He’s not my boyfriend or anything, and it was definitely more than just physical.
There was a cosmic connection pulling me toward him—a connection I thought I had to break thinking it was the only way to have any type of future with the guys.
Look what good that did any of us because we still ended up together, only this time we weren’t fighting this attraction, we were fighting for our lives.
If I could just remember who shot us, I could give the police and the guys the name of the person responsible. We could know who the enemy is and who we need to look out for, but my foggy mind is blocking it all out.
Your mind is supposed to protect you from the trauma, but the only thing mine is blocking out is the person who shot us. This whole situation is so fucking frustrating.
“I’m sorry I couldn’t protect you,” I whisper, squeezing his hand hoping for some type of reaction, but I’m met with none. Leaning over his bed, I run my hand down the side of his face before leaning back in my chair, frustrated.
I want him to wake up and yell at me for being so reckless.
“This is all my fault. I knew the risk we were taking and I should’ve never asked you to meet me there. I didn’t trust myself being alone with you in that house. Knowing how hard it would be to walk away.” I shake my head as I’m filled with guilt. “It was selfish of me, but I guess you already knew that, didn’t you? And you still chose to come anyway.”
Even when I think I’m doing the right thing, people still end up hurt. All my life I’ve wanted to be with those four guys. To have them love me, cherish me—for them to call me theirs. And at the first glimpse of hope for that stupid girlish dream to come true, I tossed Gabe to the side.
Gabe breathed life back into my broken and tortured soul. He allowed me to explore the darkest parts of myself and embrace the power that came with it.
Then, when I least expected it, he opened up by telling me his story. He shared with me the trauma he’s carried alone all these years.
The tears now streaming down my face make me feel weak and desperate. Like the same girl who cried helplessly for months when she lost her friends. But what Gabe helped me realize is that I hadn’t lost them but instead found myself. In their absence, I allowed myself to become someone who wasn’t dependent on them for her own happiness, her own strength.
I became a woman who grabbed life by the balls and took what she wanted—without fear or consequence. It wasn’t until I started second guessing myself and letting all those childish doubts that I’ve allowed everyone to put on me sink in that I slipped back into old habits.
I like who I am when I’m with Gabriel. I should have never let the guys make me doubt myself. The strong, confident woman I was becoming went right out the window at the first sign of trouble. Given time, they would have come to an agreement about my relationship with Gabe, or maybe they wouldn’t and I would have come to terms with it.
Either way it’s too late unless he opens his eyes and we can figure out what to do next. Where to go from here. I need him to tell me something, to make me feel something other than the fucking guilt filling me right now.
“C’mon Gabe. Wake up!” I shout in trepidation.
“You donotget to lie here and wither away while King is still out there living and breathing. We had a plan, and it’s my fault shit went sideways, so now I need you to wake up so we can end this together. Like we had planned. You can’t leave me here to finish this alone. I need you by my side. I need you to have my back. So, wake the fuck up!”
My rant is met with silence as the monitors continue to beep as they keep up with his vitals. I feel defeated. Nothing is going the way we planned.
