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Rudy shakes his head. “She’s not withyou?”
She’s supposed to be.Hoping to find Clara in our room, I turn—but something is off about the front yard. Takes me a minute to realize what it is. The bike Clara has been using was leaned up against the tree when we left this morning, but it’s gone now. And there’s a skinny track in the dirt. Fresh. Heading toward the mainroad.
“Shewouldn’t.”
Hank sniffs. “Wouldn’twhat?”
Panic cuts into my chest like a buzz saw and I run for the passenger side, finding her bag of contact lenses still sitting on the seat. Bells peal in my head. “She…” I stagger away from the truck, hearing the optometrist’s words in my head.But you’ll need to wear glasses or lenses at all times. Surgery is the only way to repair your eyes for good. Without them, you’re still at risk for falls.“She’s on her bike and she can’t see right. Christ, she’s goingto…”
Don’t think it. Don’t say it. Justmove.
But as I run for the driver’s side, every worst-case scenario under the sun flashes in front of my eyes. And I never told her I loveher.
Chapter Thirteen
Clara
In the blink of an eye.
It was always just a phrase to me beforenow.
I’m going faster than I should down the mountain. Only another few minutes and I’ll be at the rental hut. I think. Everything is blurrier than usual, thanks to the tears. This is how I’ve been living my life—a little blurry—only I didn’t realize it until the optometrist clicked those slides into place so I could see the letters on thewall.
There’s a minor scrape on my leg where I grazed a tree about a quarter mile back. But I’m not stopping to bandage it now. I just want to get away. Away from the possibilities that aren’t possibilities anymore. It hurts toomuch.
Everything hurts too much. My head aches, my chestburns.
The farther I get from Rex, the more I start to wonder if I’m doing the right thing, though. Rex is probably flipping tables,Real Housewivesstyle. And while I enjoy him punishing me after a tantrum, this is nothing like those times. For one, I’m leaving him, not trying to get sex. Two, I’ve been built for our unique kind of relationship, but maybe Rex needs more time before he’s comfortable being unapologetically…us.
I…did blacken everything in theirworld.
Rex’s words drift back to me from this morning at the lake and my feet slow their peddling. It couldn’t have been easy for Rex to bring me into a room full of people and have them stare so rudely at me. Treat me like some kind of freak. No, he would have felt terrible. He would have taken all the blame, too, even though I’ve been pursuing him. Even though I came here with the intention of seducing him. Lied to him since the very beginning about who I am, just so he’d touchme.
He tried to stay away because he’s my step-uncle. He didn’t want to blacken me and my reputation. But we went there. Went thereandtook it a step further, becoming something even more controversial. Something we’ve barely begun to explore. And it all happened before Rex even got over my status as his step-niece. At the first sign of people disapproving, he saw me being ostracized right in front of his eyes. I shouldn’t have left. I should have assured him of one true fact—a fact that will always hold true. Being an outsider doesn’t bother me. It’s who Iam.
All I’ve ever wanted was to feel safe. He gives me that in spades. He’s also helped me see the clear picture of where my fantasies have always been guiding me. But I expected too much too soon. I owe him time to get used to being on the fringe with me. It’s where I live. It’s where I’mcomfortable.
All I need with me is Rex. IloveRex.
My lips spread into a smile and I hit the brakes…but I’m on too steep of a decline now and it doesn’t stop. The skidding sound screams in my ears. A sixteen-wheeler comes flying around thebend.
It all happens in the blink of aneye.
Chapter Fourteen
Rex
There’sa god-awful sickness in my gut as I slow the truck to take another turn, just in case Clara is on the other side. To get this far so fast, she would have to be flying down the goddamn mountain at breakneck pace. I’m sweating through my shirt, praying under my breath for a miracle. She wouldn’t even be on this damn mountain if it wasn’t for me. If she’s hurt, if I’m going to go stark raving mad. At her. At life. At anyone in thevicinity.
I can’t even consider something worse happening.Please. Please, dammit. Don’t take her away from me when I just found her.Yes, what we have might be forbidden to some. I’m her step-uncle and a good damn deal older. But there’s never been a bond more undeniable. It’s one that people won’t understand, but it’s ours. She’s wiggled her way into my soul and she’s not budging until my maker takesme.
How could I have said those shitty things to her? She looked ready to burst into tears and I just walked away, hoping she would understand. I should have held her in my arms andtalkedto her until we found a solution to our problem. What I wouldn’t give to go back in time and wipe her tears away and say sorry. Tell her I love her and I’m never letting go, no matter the kind of judgment wereceive.
She’s worth every damn second of it andmore.
If she believes I’m worth it, too, then I’ll spend my lifegrateful. Spend it making her happy and being her provider in all things. If holding my hand in stores and calling me Daddy around strangers makes her happy, everyone can kiss my ass.She’sthe one I’m living for. Notthem.
When I turn the corner and see her bicycle bent in half, beneath the wheel of a semi-truck, I don’t believe it.No.No. No.It can’t be real. God wouldn’t be this cruel. Ice forms a layer on top of my heart, freezing it into a black ball in my chest. Acid spears up from the pit of my stomach and I slam on the brakes, roaring inside the cabin of mytruck.
