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“He’s my father! I’m his daughter! That’s enough for him. It’s enough for me! There doesn’t have to be anything else. I love him because he’s my father. I love him because he wants to be a part of my life. I love him because I know, no matter what, I can count on him to be there for me. That’s the kind of love we all want, Mom. It’s the kind of love I have for you. No matter what else happens between us, I love you. I love you despite what you’ve done. I just don’t like you right now.”
“Your father and I came from different worlds. I had enoughmoney to do as I pleased for the rest of my life. Having that kind of money so young can allow you to do stupid things.”
“Like run away from home looking for adventure, only to end up pregnant.” Summer plunked her ass down on the end of a chaise longue.
“Yes. I loved your father for those few short months. We were happy together and so much in love when we made you. Those are memories I’ll never forget. I’ll cherish them the rest of my life. Your father will always be special to me because he’s your father.”
“Mom, I hear you saying the words, but your actions say the opposite. You loved him enough to spend time together and make me. Couldn’t you find a little of that love left in your heart to tell him he had a daughter?”
“I was young and scared. I had a brand-new baby. I was so overwhelmed and out of my element trying to take care of you. I just wanted to have you all to myself. I know that sounds selfish. But that’s how I felt. Summer, darling, it’s complicated. When you have a child of your own, you’ll see. Nothing is easy about having a baby and raising them.”
“It could have been a little easier if you’d had Dad to help you.”
“That would have just made things more complicated.”
“Yes, because you were about to be married to Thomas.”
“That had nothing to do with it.” Her mother’s quick defense didn’t make the words ring true.
“No? I wonder. You said you left Dad because he wasn’t financially sound and you didn’t think he could support me. Yet, when you left Dad, you didn’t know you were pregnant with me. You told Grandfather you’d changed your mind about going to college. Then, you found out about me a few weeks later. From what I’ve heard, Thomas came into the picture about that time, too. A nice, sweet man, a few years older than you, who adored you enough to want to raise a baby with you. You had months to tell Dad aboutme before I was born, but once you met Thomas, the thought of telling Dad went right out the door. I know what you wanted. You wanted to marry Thomas and have the perfect husband, the perfect daughter, the perfect marriage filled with love and happiness.”
“Summer, listen to me. It wasn’t like that.”
Yes, it was.“Don’t, Mom. It’s like that with all of them. Once you had Thomas in your life, the past was just a dark memory and your future looked so bright. You always tell me to look forward, there’s always a light at the end of the tunnel. What you don’t realize is that people aren’t perfect, love isn’t perfect, you have to work at it to make it the best it can be.”
“I’m glad you’ve learned that, darling. It’s a lesson I don’t seem to take to heart. I’m always looking for the perfect guy and the perfect love.”
“They don’t exist.” Summer pressed the heel of her hand to her head. She had a hard time deciding what hurt more, her head or her heart. “You taught me that. It was a lesson learned the hard way, but one I won’t forget.”
“Summer, please try to understand.”
“I do understand. You don’t have a single valid explanation for what you did. As usual, the only person you were thinking about was yourself.”
“Summer, please. Come home and we’ll talk about this.”
“No. I’m staying with Dad. I think it’s past time I get to know him and myself a little better. I’m tired, Mom. I’m tired of living my life the way you and Grandfather want. Yesterday really opened my eyes. I saw my life through Dad’s eyes, and it’s a sad and lonely existence.”
“Seriously. You have a great job. You’ve got a top-notch education, money, and enough real estate to make one of those Kardashians jealous.”
Summer sighed heavily. Her mother just didn’t get it. Maybe shenever would. “Mom, what you don’t seem to realize is that none of that matters when I’m alone.”
“You have me. You have your grandfather. And if you actually tried to open your heart, you could have any man you want.”
“You and Grandfather lied to me my whole life.” Summer pressed her hand to her throbbing head and let the tears fall. “Did you know I’ve spent my whole life thinking that if my own father didn’t want me, why would anyone else?” While Summer knew her mother loved her, Jessica didn’t always show it, and sometimes she wasn’t even nice.
“Oh, Summer, I’m sorry.”
The words didn’t hold a lot of meaning right now. “It’s too late for sorry!”
“Summer, what are you saying? You can’t possibly think to stay there with your father indefinitely. You have a life here in Dallas.”
“I’ve spent my whole life trying to be the best I can so that maybe you’d notice me and want to be with me instead of whoever else you were with. I’ve tried very hard to be what you wanted.”
“You’re everything I wanted, darling. Always. You’re my special girl.” Again the words were nice, if only Summer believed Jessica meant them.
“It’s all I ever wanted to be, but I never felt special. You never made me feel that way. You lied to me. That lie changed who I might have been into the woman I was yesterday. Today I know the truth. Somehow, I have to figure out who I am now.”
“You’re the same wonderful woman you’ve always been.”
