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And the men were on their game, throwing pickup lines and big tips every time I turned around, flashing them a seductive smile and a glimpse of my tits over the top of my tight tank.
What a great Saturday night.
Because this was what I lived for if I was honest.
Pretty boy smiles and clean-cut faces didn’t do it for me.
Gnarled whiskey smiles and three-day old stubble on faces that were scarred and rough were the only things to get my blood pumping.
Thanks tohim.
In his own way, his roughness had ruined me for anyone soft. I never stood a chance of finding a good gentle man to keep me warm at night because the only things I craved were calloused hands and rough kisses.
Rough like my fucking life had been since the day I met him too.
Because Paxton St. Claire was never gentle. Not in the way he seduced me. Or the way he loved me. Nor the way he destroyed me.
He ruined my chances of ever being in a healthy relationship as an adult because I had been just a kid in a relationship with a fucked-up man that left me with a baby and a headstone to love. He turned his back on me and walked away forever.
So I got my high on dangerous encounters with men that should scare me. I lived on the edge a few nights a week before crawling into bed next to my perfect little baby girl that the rough man had given me, pretending I was normal and nice like everyone thought I was.
Chapter 2 – Delilah
Past
“Whatchadoing?”Blaineaskedas he flopped down on my bed next to me. He reeked like skunky weed and day-old booze, and I turned my nose up at him. Even if he was my brother and best friend, I had limits to my love, and his smell was one of them.
“God, you stink. You know that right?” I curled my lip and pulled my pillow out from underneath his head.
“I don’t smell any worse than Fox does, but you still swoon over him every time he comes around.” He challenged with a smirk, grabbing my pillow back and fluffing it under his head.
“Wrong.” I replied, “He never smells like body odor like you do.”
He snorted, “But you don’t deny swooning over him.”
“Whatever.” I felt the flush crawl up my cheeks at how he trapped me. “Do you even know what swooning means?”
He looked over at me as I sat crossed legged next to him, “You got it bad for him, huh?”
“No.” I said instantly and rolled my eyes at him. “He’s just nice to me.”
“Fox isn’t nice to anyone. That’s literally how he got his name. He sneaks into little hen houses like this one and eats defenseless girls like you for dinner.”
I rolled my eyes at him again, reached into my bedside drawer and grabbed the taser he got me after break-ins started happening more often around our house. “I’m not defenseless.”
“Hmm.” He hummed and laid his head back down on the pillow.
“Where have you been?” I asked him, “You haven’t been home in three days.”
“Around.” He shrugged his shoulders and let his eyes close.
“You’re going to get yourself killed runningaroundlike that, Blaine.” I said for the millionth time since he started hanging out with a rough crowd a few years ago. He dropped out of school his senior year and got a job at a motorcycle garage across town. And then he’d gotten dragged into the MC’s drama and problems and it worried me every single time he rode off on his bike.
“Hmm.” He said again and I huffed, “Only the good die young, Delilah, you know that.”
“You are good.” I reminded him, “Or at least you used to be.”
“You’re good, D. Maddie is good.” He said with his eyes closed, “I’m just trying to make sure you two stay good. If I can do that, then I can die a happy man, whenever that happens.”
