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I hate that I distrust him without good reason. He’s done nothing to warrant it, yet I can’t shake the feeling that he wants something from me. I don’t want to be this person. I don’t want to second guess everyone and everything around me, but I can’t help it. I can’t help but think that in part, I was to blame for the way I was deceived. This time, I have to ensure I keep my eyes wide open.
31
Aria
I’m exhausted by the time I walk into Gray’s apartment. I haven’t seen him all day, and part of me is relieved. I managed to slip out of bed before he woke up, avoiding awkwardness between us. He was gone by the time I walked out of the shower, and I’m scared to face him. I’m scared he’ll have questions I can’t answer. Besides, things have been awkward between us ever since we went out for drinks.
I’ve been feeling conflicted. I’m falling for Grayson, and there’s nothing I can do about it. I can’t stop it. Every day, my feelings grow. It was easy to ignore at the start, but now? Impossible.
I’m startled when I find him standing in the kitchen, staring at a box of eggs. He looks up at me and the helplessness in his eyes guts me.
“What’s wrong, Gray?”
He walks up to me and grabs my hand, pulling me toward the kitchen counter. Before I realize what’s happening, he’s got his hands wrapped around my waist and he’s lifting me on top of the counter.
“Tell me how you do it,” he says. “How do you make your scrambled eggs so magical? I’ve made them hundreds of times, Ari. But they never taste like yours.”
I chuckle and shake my head. “That’s what’s got you so worried?”
He stares at me, expecting an answer, and I can’t help but laugh. “It’s a mixture of green chili, ginger and garlic, Gray.”
He looks outraged, and my heart flutters ever so slightly. He’s adorable.
“It’s that simple?”
I nod, and he stalks toward the fridge, in search of green chili, I assume. He returns with the ingredients, looking triumphant, and I just about manage to suppress a giggle.
“So, I guess we’re having scrambled eggs for dinner?”
Gray pauses and looks up at me. “I’m sorry,” he says. “I should’ve asked what you wanted. I just… I don’t know. Usually when I have a rough day, scrambled eggs make it better. It’s stupid, now that I’m saying it out loud. I just wanted to do something nice for you, I guess.”
I look at him with wide eyes. “This is for me?”
He walks up to me and places his arms on either side of me, leaning in. “Yes.”
I wrap my arms around his shoulders instinctively and hug him. I must have startled him because it takes him a couple of seconds to hug me back, but when he does, he holds me tightly. I’ve been trying my hardest to stay away, to remind myself that he’s Noah’s best friend, but it’s too hard. Staying away from him is too hard.
“I’d ask you if you were okay, but I know you’ll just lie to me,” he murmurs.
I smile and rest my head on his shoulder. “I’m sorry,” I tell him. “I didn’t mean to wake you, but I’m so grateful you were there last night.”
Gray buries his hand into my hair and sighs. “Sweetheart, there’s nowhere I’d rather have been last night.”
He pulls away to look at me, his hand still tangled in my hair. “Would it help you if I sleep with you?”
My heart skips a beat and I feel heat spread across my cheeks, even though I know he doesn’t mean it that way. He notices my blush and smirks.
“I mean… I can do that too, if you want. Might help you sleep,” he says, teasing me. My mind can’t help but go there. He felt so hard and big against me this morning, and I can’t help but wonder what he’d feel like inside me. I push the thought away, annoyed with myself for even thinking it. This. This is why I’m staying away from Gray. Because I find myself wanting more of him than he’ll ever give me. I look away and bite down on my lip.
“All jokes aside,” he says. “I’d be happy to. You seemed to calm down in my arms. If you think it’ll help, I’d be happy to.”
I look into his eyes, wondering if he’s just saying that because he thinks it’s the right thing to say, but I can’t find a trace of insincerity in his eyes.
“You don’t think it’d be weird?”
Gray lifts his free hand to my face and brushes my hair behind my ear. “I don’t think so. It wasn’t weird last night, was it?”
I shake my head.
