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Flying was the best – but it was solitary.
Austin was alone in the Falcon. The ground far below him looked so empty, just seas of varying shades of green, brown, and tan sprinkled with blips here and there that were cities or towns.
The joy had just faded somehow and was replaced by a basic existence – and he felt like he was wilting away, losing a part of himself.
Reaper sat down on the nearest bunk.
“Look, I know this isn’t someplace exciting like home, Germany, or Spain… but we are all here, thinking and needing the same things,” Reaper said quietly, watching him.
Austin turned away to stare up at the ceiling.
“You are falling into a pit,” Reaper began again, “And I know because you either drown or go numb just to keep from suffocating. Don’t do this, Calder. Don’t shut it off – funnel it, my friend.”
“Go away,” Austin uttered, hating that the man’s words were reaching him, and his throat was getting tight.
“No.”
“I’m tired – and nothing is wrong.”
“If you are this tired, I’m going to recommend a medical evaluation to make sure you haven’t picked up something.”
“Can’t I just want to be alone?”
“Occasionally – yes? All the time and bringing down the others? – No.”
Austin turned his head and looked at him.
“Look, Sparky,” Reaper began again. “You share a barracks with several other men who are watching you. Some miss their wives, their families, and some were alone before they ever got here. Don’t be the anchor, taking others down with you… please.”
At his silence, the squadron leader spoke again.
“Get up, plaster a smile on your face, try to find something that appeals to you, write some friends or family you have back home. Heck, reply to every email you get and have some fun with it. If they are trying to sell you a warranty for your car, tell them you’re interested in full coverage on a blue Pontiac T-1000 from 1980…”
Austin cracked a smile for a second.
“That was oddly specific.”
“The neighbor had one and always worked on it. It was a piece of junk, and I was terrified that my Mom would buy it when he finally put a sign in the window,” Reaper smirked at him. “I’m serious. If it’s spam or junk mail, harass them back. If you have a friend that writes – tell them tokeepwriting. If you have vacation time, go see my buddies in Texas and soak up the sun for a bit… just do anything butthis.”
Reaper stood up beside Austin’s bunk, pointedly.
“Seriously. Get up and quit moping. Go get something to eat, hit the gym, go watch a movie, or get on one of the computers.”
“Yes, mom…”
“That’s First Lieutenant ‘Mom’, kiddo…” Reaper smirked.
Austin sat up, getting to his feet slowly, and looked at him.
“Try it my way for a month… and let yourself settle into a spot where you fit in. You don’t have to be like anyone else, just be yourself. If you need more mental entertainment, friendship, excitement - if it’s not coming to you or surrounding you? Create it – but do not sink,” Reaper said quietly. “Never sink, because there’s always another day and you are always welcome to talk if you need someone, brother.”
“I’m fine,” Austin said quietly. “I’ll go get something to eat.”
“Don’t go sit in there if you are just going to mope…”
“Go. Don’t go. What do you want?”
“I want you to take a minute, draw up your big-boy pants, and realize that in this part of the world? It’s not just you alone. You are part of something bigger. Be a friend, part of the team, and get your head on straight… Now, c’mon.”
