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Layingin Kandace’s bed with her and Eli, in a room that was so distinctly her, was one of the best feelings I never imagined could exist. This space didn’t look like the rest of the house, but like her fiery red SUV, it was clear this space was decorated this way becauseshewanted it.
I wanted to spend a lifetime learning about this woman who decorated her walls with modern art prints that were a combination of vibrant reds and blues and purples, blended with soft yellows. Peaches—the fruit and the color. I wanted to learn more about the person who was both bright and soft and lived in this space.
Eli adjusted his position, sliding his hand to rest on Kandace’s stomach and tangle his fingers with mine.
And I needed as much time to get to know him, the man I loved when we were boys. I’d seen a bit of who Eli was now, and that taste was enough to make me crave so much more of him.
“What now?” Eli’s voice was muted. Lazy. Perfect.
“As in right this minute, or is that a longer term question?” Kandace asked.
I knew the answer to both. “Right now? We cuddle. We do as little as possible aside from getting to know each other. We spend the day in bed, aside from getting up to fetch whatever takeout we order.”
Eli laughed. He should do that more often. “You’ve got this all figured out.”
“Not all of it, but a loose plan is forming,” I said. “Long term, we’ll spend our nights creating and daydreaming and bringing universes and ideas to life while we sit on the floor eating takeout, because a dinner table won’t contain our awesomeness. We’ll go to the movies and love the show and hate the show and sit in the back row and make out like we’re falling in love for the first time every time. We’ll decorate my new restaurant and get more paint on us than the walls. We’ll ditch parties to drink wine out of the bottle, and we’ll do it all together. All three of us.”
Kandace made a noise that was half-light laugh, half-contented sigh. She pressed closer to me, bringing Eli with her. “I like the way you think,” she said. “No. Ilovethe way you think.”
This was perfect. More than perfect. This was forever, and I couldn’t have asked for a better path forward, or better people to travel it with.
epilogue - kandace
eight months later
The small auditoriumin the back room of the local bookstore looked quite different tonight than when I’d toured the place with Andrew and Susan—his wife—a month or so ago. Mostly because instead of being empty, several rows of folding chairs were set up facing a large projection screen, and fifty or so of Andrew’s closest friends and family.
I was in the front row, between Eli and Joystick, with Lucas and Susan on Eli’s other side. As I glanced behind us at the packed makeshift theater, I recognized so many of the faces. Sure, they were here to see the early screener of Andrew’s movie, but they were friends of mine, too. People I knew I could call on. People whose company I enjoyed.
I’d spent the last eight months getting used to the kind of love Joystick and Eli showered me with. Joystick had come out the other side of Isabella’s gossip just fine, the way he’d predicted, and through his contacts, Andrew’s, and Eli’s, we’d heard she couldn’t get acting work anywhere.
The time with the men also showed me I’d ignored so much in my life, in order to survive. To make sure Lucas thrived.
Being able to step past that and see there was a life waiting for me that I’d completely overlooked.
I didn’t regret the way I’d done things in the past, but I was grateful Eli and Joystick helped me see there was another way to live. Which included picking up the house in Haddarville, and moving in with the men I loved, while Lucas took over my Condo in Salt Lake.
A hush fell over the room as Andrew stood in front of the screen. “Thank you all for coming. Thank you all for living this with me. I hope we’ve done your memories justice.”
With that, he sat next to Susan, and the lights in the room dimmed.
“You all right?” Lucas leaned forward to ask him.
“Sometimes the pictures have to speak for themselves,” Andrew said.
That almost sounded wise.
Though I had a good idea what was coming—I’d lived some of it and Eli had been talking about all of it, especially as he helped with last minute edits and re-writes for reshoots. Still, parts of the movie were hard to watch.
Andrew had been through a lot in his life, and some of it was rough. Addiction. Losing friends. The dark side of business—not just because he’d been a founder of the widespread type of internet porn his former company produced.
When some elements got too difficult to consume raw, I focused on finding Eli’s influence in the writing. The last several months had given me a great idea of where Eli’s logic shone through in most situations, especially over Andrew’s compulsion to make the story as extravagant as needed.
As the movie ended, Joystick insisted we pay attention to the credits. Eli’s name appeared early on as a co-writer, and according to Joystick, it was important we saw everyone who had worked on the film.
When the house lights rose, it was to a thunderous wave of applause—more noise than I thought a group this size was capable of—that became a standing ovation.
As the clapping and whistles died down, Andrew directed everyone to the banquet room in Gage’s, next door. The guests were welcome to eat there or bring their food back here.
