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“I doubt she’s noticed,” I admitted bitterly. After my dad passed, the grief took hold of her completely until nothing of the woman who’d raised me remained. I tore myself apart, trying to piece her back together until there was almost nothing left of me.
I remembered the day anger finally won, and I screamed at her, lying lifelessly in the bed she’d barely left in months. I told her that she didn’t get to just disappear as if her life were over. I reminded her that I was still here.
The words she’d whispered back to me had delivered the final blow that shattered the illusion that she’d ever loved me.
Mama, please talk to me. So much is happening, and I need you. You can’t just disappear. I need you. I’m still here. Please.
I know you are, Atlas, and that’s the problem. I thought it would be enough.
I told Rowdy about that too.
He shook his head and rested his forehead against mine. “She didn’t mean it,” he tried to assure me. “It was the grief talking.”
“Maybe. But when you have nothing left to lose, there’s no reason for dishonesty.” I shook my head to clear away the ugly memory. “I think my dad revealing the truth to me shattered the illusion for her. I could only be her daughter as long as I lived the lie.”
Kareena had probably always dreamed of having a child, one she’d carried in her womb who looked like her or maybe my father—until one test shattered that dream. Physically, there had been no obstacles, but fear of the unknown and subjecting their child to my father’s fate had kept them captive.
“Whatever the truth is, Atlas, know that she was wrong. You are enough. Don’t ever let anyone tell you differently.”
“I’ll try.”
“Nah, I don’t need you to try. I need you to know it, and then tell me if anyone else says that bullshit to you so I can shoot them. I’ll give your mom a pass because I know she loves you, but everyone else can get this work.” He wore the most adorable frown as he stared off. His reaction was even cuter to me since I knew he was completely serious.
“I’m not going to tell you because I believe you really will shoot them and go to prison for it.”
“Worth it.”
I wasn’t proud of my reaction, so I covered my flaming cheeks to hide the evidence. Hearing a man say he’ll shoot anyone over you wasnotsomething to blush over.
And yet here I was grinning like a fool.
I looked away and caught sight of the cocktail he still hadn’t touched. “Can I try some of this?” I asked, gesturing toward the Passion Sunrise. “I heard their drinks were really good, and I can’t order one for myself.”
“Your ass had better drink this shit,” he playfully spat. “I ordered it for you.”
“Really?” I happily squealed before snatching up the drink and guzzling it down gleefully. “Oh, my God, baby, it’s so good.” Before my brain caught on to what I was doing and saying, I’d already tipped my drink toward him invitingly. “Taste.” He held my gaze as he leaned forward and silently wrapped his lips around my straw, taking a drink and then leaning back. “Good, right?”
“It’s straight.”
I rolled my eyes and happily hummed as I took another sip before placing the straw at his lips again.
“Your ass better not tell anyone I be out here drinking cocktails and shit,” he said after taking a second sip.
“I won’t,” I promised with a giggle.
We took turns sipping my drink until it was gone, and then I asked him if he could order another cocktail. This time I wanted to try the Blueberry Surprise.
Felicia returned with our food moments later, and her nose turned up at the sight of me in Rowdy’s lap. We both ignored her as Rowdy ordered another Hennessy for himself and a cocktail for me. I tried to return to my seat so that I could eat, but Rowdy refused to let me go and instead fed me himself from his plate and mine.
After we cleaned our plates, he asked me if I wanted dessert. I declined since I was pretty full while he ordered strawberry cheesecake for himself.
As soon it came, he dumped my ass back in my chair none too gently and shoved up his sleeves so he could enjoy it fully. I watched him devour the delicious-looking cheesecake until my mouth started to water, and I wished I hadn’t turned down dessert.
“That looks good,” I said as I hungrily watched the generous slice become smaller and smaller.
“Mhmm.”
“Are you going to eat it all by yourself? Aren’t you full?”
