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“Bet,” Rowdy promised. He looked at me then and swept me closer with his arm around my waist. I was immediately surrounded by his scent and didn’t know just how much I’d missed it until my knees nearly gave out. “I will.” And then he bent his head and kissed me for the first time since I learned we couldn’t be.
“Owen,” I whined breathlessly against his lips. “We can’t.”
“I don’t care.” He pulled me closer, and I wrapped my arms around his neck. “We’re in the gray, remember?”
I remembered.
It just hadn’t done us any good.
We were too afraid of ruining our souls so irrevocably that there would be nothing left to intertwine or move on with when this was over.
When his tongue teased the seam of my lips, I opened for him, consequences be damned. I wasn’t sure how much time had passed before someone cleared their throat and shocked us back into reality.
“I thought…I thought you didn’t want me anymore. I didn’t know what to do.”
Rowdy squeezed my waist. “Then you should stop thinking so much and listen for once.” He shook his head. “It’s not your fault. I just needed a few days to get my mind right.”
“Someone want to tell me what the fuck is going on?” Joren demanded.
Rowdy and I gave each other a look—a promise to finish making peace later. “I think you should tell him,” I urged Rowdy. “And I think you should do it now.”
He stared down at me and I could see the wheels turning. “Is that what you want?”
“Do you have feelings for her?”
“Fuck no,” he said, breathing out.
“Then it’s what I want. I want to put her behind us. No more secrets.”
Rowdy looked over my head at his best friend and the woman who might have given birth to me. “All right.”
We turned to face the angry couple together, but movement up above, in the window on the right, caught my eye.
The curtains had shifted back closed.
“Ifucked Jada the night of the V-day party,” I blurted as soon as we were all inside the house. Well, everyone except for Ruen, who had fucked off as soon as Joren lost his mind over all the dicks someone had left on his door. “It happened twenty years ago, but we’ve been fucking on and off until a few weeks before I met Atlas.”
Everyone, including Atlas, sent me an appalled look at how carelessly I’d unloaded that bomb.
I didn’t know why they were all shocked. That was the real tragedy. I didn’t even want to do this, but since my girl insisted, I had no choice. Atlas wanted proof that I’d truly ended my chapter with Jada.
Joren’s head was on a swivel, back and forth between me and Jada, who was trying her best to make herself small.
“What the fuck are you talking about, O?” I held Joren’s gaze but said nothing since I’d already said it all. Well…notall. “Huh?” He closed the distance between us, so I swiftly moved Atlas out of harm’s way and braced myself for the first swing. It was coming. Joren’s fuse wasn’t as short as mine, but his ego was much bigger. “Motherfucker, I think you just said you fucked mywife, but I’m not sure I’m hearing you right.”
I shook my head and glanced at Atlas, who gave me a reassuring smile that wobbled. “You heard me, Joren, and all I can say is that I’m sorry.” In my peripheral, I noticed Roc and Golden glance at each other. I was never one to apologize so hearing me do so probably shocked them more than hearing that I’d been fucking my boy’s wife. “That shit was foul, but…” I glanced at Atlas again and sucked in a breath. “I wouldn’t take it back even if I could.” Come what may, if I hadn’t betrayed my best friend, Atlas might not exist. “My mistake was the best thing that had ever happened to me.”
Joren swung then.
I let the blow land, knowing it would be the only one he’d get. He’d earned that. When he swung again, I quickly maneuvered him into an arm lock before Roc and Golden could intervene. “Listen to me,” I spoke into his ear. “You’re my partner, my brother, my right hand. What I did was fucked up, and I don’t want to lose you as my friend, but I’ll understand if you can’t get past this. You just need to listen to me for a little while longer. There’s something else you need to know.”
“Rowdy,no,” Jada pleaded.
I ignored her.
“Get off me!” Joren roared.
I let him go, and when he swung around to face me again, I gave him a look. I knew I was in the wrong, and I was sorry like a motherfucker, but I was who I was. My understanding only reached so far.
