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Maybe healing isn’t about sweating it out and forcing the pain to move on or else. Like I have some kind of control. Maybe I need to learn how to live with it, embrace it and learn to live and love?
I sit up and wrap my arms around my knees. Grant, Cain and Lincoln are not the problems. I’m my own problem, and all of a sudden, I feel like kicking my own ass. The guys were right. They didn’t say it in so many words, but I know what they meant. I’ve been selfish to think I’m the only one in pain.
I take out my phone and snap a few pictures of the calm waters and then a selfie just as the sun meets the horizon and shoot them off with a quick text to my mom and dad.
“Love you guys bunches, all is good and no crazy man living in the cabin eating roadkill”
Just three crazy, insanely hot men I’m silly stupid crazy about. But it’s probably better I break that particular news in person.
A ding comes back.
“Send our love to the boys”
Ismile as I read my mom’s text. She knew all along. I’ve been not only blind but stupid too. I hope they haven’t left. Suddenly, my heart squeezes until I can’t breathe.
I’ve been sitting here lost in thought longer than expected. Fireflies begin to dance along the tree line and over the yard as I step off the hiking path that comes out opposite the cabin. They look like fallen stars blinking over the water making it look like this tiny slice of heaven is a hidden portal to the whole universe laid out before me.
Amazing what a few orgasms, kind words and love can do for a girl. My perspective has had a rude awakening.
Crossing the yard with my head down, lost in thought, at first I don’t see the lights. A warm glow brings my attention, and I blink several times in awe.
A huge blanket is spread out over the grass with a wide view of the lake before us and the stars above. Hanging overhead are string lights they must have dug out of the hall storage. Their soft glow a warm highlight over what looks like a beautiful spread they prepared.
Cain appears to my right, taking my hand in his larger one. “I hope you still like your dessert before dinner, Mercy baby.”
And for a second I think he’s talking about another soul-shattering orgasm, and I blush. He leans forward. “That’s coming too, baby. Just wait.”
“Where is everyone?” I look around for Linc and Grant, but I don’t see anyone.
“Do you remember when we asked you to be patient that night you asked us to take your virginity?”
It takes me a minute before I nod. “I do. You all told me no one would understand and that I would be shunned for my desires, and you didn’t want that for me. You didn’t want me growing up too fast when all I wanted was the three of you.”
Cain’s eyes light up with a hunger I’ve only dreamed about seeing in his eyes. “Such a brave girl.”
I tighten my fingers around his. “I was never afraid. I knew what I wanted.”
“And now?”
Cain looks down at me, waiting patiently for my answer.
“I think I have an answer for that now.”
He leads me over to the blankets and draws me over his lap. He’s freshly showered with loose shorts and a T-shirt stretched over broad shoulders, his feet bare. Like he’s home. And that thought has my heart swelling.
I wrap my arms around his neck and press close enough to where my nipples are rubbing against his chest through the soft material of my tank top. Thankfully I packed several of them. Those and panties, because between these three I never have a dry pair. A stiff wind and my skirt would reveal that truth pretty quickly.
“What is all this about?” I ask, nodding to the variety of delicious smelling fresh fruit, a bowl of whipped cream, chilled wine I notice and, is that a bottle of lube? I stiffen a little at that.
He moves my hair over my shoulder and he takes a moment to gather his thoughts.
“You know the three of us wanted nothing more than to take you right in the middle of your kitchen that night. We couldn’t do that to you. Not Grant, Linc or me. Please understand that.”
“I do,” I say. “I was being selfish and blind, but I see it now and I’m not mad. I didn’t want to see that you did it because you cherished me enough to let me grow up a little before I did something I might regret. I understand why you waited.”
“And do you regret it?” he asks somberly, and I know my next words have to be measured because Cain might be a Marine and a man accustomed to fighting his way through conflict, but he’s also the softest of the three men when it comes to me. It’s written all over his face.
“No,” I say. “I only regret it took me so long to see how much you three love me. But I regret more not telling you all first.”
