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“How did you end up down there?” The question is out before I can think to stop it.
They don’t answer at first, then the demon’s ears lower, lying flat. I wait, giving them time to gather their thoughts and not push them into answer if it’s not something they are ready to talk about.
“Before Elizabeth bonded with Kharis, she summoned me first. She wanted to use my power to strip another of their free will. But she was too weak, and it would have cursed us both, so I refused her. Even without the threat of corruption, I had no desire to be connected to someone with such an unfeeling heart.”
I take careful breaths as Varin speaks, fearing to break the spell. Instinctively, I sense it is no small thing for them to confide in me. To possibly be the first to know of their story.
“Eventually, she found Kharis. They were not strong enough to do what she wanted but managed something close. If that was not terrible enough, they betrayed our kind by helping Elizabeth imprison me.
“She kept me locked and chained, stationing guards to patrol the empty cells as a reminder that I would never be part of the world outside my prison. Once every ten years for the first century, she would come and offer me freedom in exchange for my power. But I am no fool—better I die than to allow that.”
My chest aches for this demon—for all they have suffered to keep Elizabeth from unleashing worse cruelties into the world.
I am glad they lured me down to that dank cell, glad I bargained with them, glad to have risked my life to free them.
The door swings open, and a servant enters, stepping to the side with his head bowed, letting a line of familiar faces into the room. Each of them belonging to someone dear to my heart, with Cherno and Asmod leading the way. The two demons waste no time reclaiming their spots on the bed, curling up into the plush, down comforter.
Della rushes over and begins fussing with my pillows and checking my forehead while the others quietly find a space to occupy. Alaric comes to stand between the bed and windows as Oliver takes a seat on the foot of the bed beside Della. Lawrence leans against the wall on the opposite side of the night table. I think he’s trying to appear casual, but he keeps shifting in an uncomfortable sort of way.
I pause petting Varin, and peer through the door into the hallway, waiting for one last face to appear.
Seconds pass, but then the servant backs into the hall, closing the door. The sound of the mechanism clicking into place seems to cut the air from my lungs.
Time seems to freeze. The moment stretches on and on, but nothing happens. Oliver shifts uncomfortably, and Lawrence adjusts his cravat. But no one speaks a word.
It is Della who cuts through the tension. She directs an exasperated sigh at the men, then sits on the edge of the bed.
My chest aches. I know the answer to my unspoken question when she takes my hand and squeezes it, the way people do when they are about to deliver bad news.
“I am sorry, Clara.” Della’s voice is low and raspy.
Pressure builds behind my eyes, filling my skull. Thethump, thump, thump, thump, thumpof my pulse hammers between my ears, then turns into a roar.
No…. No, no, no, no, no!I shake my head, refusing to accept it. But the harder I cling to denial, the heavier the weight of truth presses down on it, cracking the already fragile thing.
My throat tightens, and I cannot breathe through the sharp agony as a fissure forms, spreading until yet another piece of my heart breaks away and shatters. It cries out, angry with him, shouting,he promised, he promised….
It doesn’t matter if he didn’t use absolutes. He said he would do his best, and although it’s not the same as saying he would live, that is what the promise I held him to.
But life does not bend to the will of one’s word, but the heart is foolish and expects impossible things.
Cassius knew he would die there. It would have been easy to say what I wanted to hear. Instead, he gave me the only truth he could. As if he didn’t want his final words to be a lie.
“I am sorry, Clara,” Della says again.
Meeting her gaze is a mistake. Seeing her eyes brimming with tears is all it takes for a sob of my own to rip free of my chest, breaking the lock that has kept all the pain I shoved down at bay.
It all comes crashing down in a single, earth shattering wave. Unstoppable. Overwhelming. Suffocating from the force of my heart cracking open. It is so much more than any physical pain I have felt that I don’t know if it’s possible to survive so much heartache at one time. Della wraps me in her arms, holding tight as if she could keep me from shattering.
Pieces of me crack and break away. For Cassius. For Kitty. For the mother I never had the chance to fight with until I could forgive her. For my father and the opportunity to mend our relationship, lost forever.
I cover my mouth against a scream, but the agony is so deep it is a sound no physical form can make, and all that comes out is a long, excruciating silent exhale.
So many people I loved…
Gone.
Taken by acts of cruelty and hate without reason.
