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“That was when it clicked. She’d seen the bloody gauze in my bathroom bin. If my own mother could think I’d want to be with a man who hurt me like that, then it had to be… normal, you know? My dad got the promotion he’d been after a few weeks later, and I guess to them, that meant it was worth it.”
Jacob’s pulse throbs hard in his temple as he sits frozen underneath her, arms still wrapped around her naked body. Breathing… hurts.Thinkinghurts. Violence roils under his skin, and it takes everything he’s got to remain still. But somehow, he does. For her.
A grimace pulls on her soft mouth, her eyelashes fanning her cheeks as she looks down. “That’s when I realized that if I didn’t want to be used by alphas with ulterior motives for the rest of my life, I had to become strong enough, smart enough to never be considered easy prey again. And so… that’s what I did.”
“Addie,” he whispers, reaching for her cheek at the absolute devastation shivering through their bond, but she flinches away from him.
“I think I treated you… so awfully, because… I didn’twantto see you as human. Any of you. Showing alphas any weakness means they’ll see you as prey, and Ihadto make you submit or the whole program would be a bust, and I’d lose my power. I wouldn’t have enough value to make any alpha reconsider using me, if that was what he wanted.” She forces a deep breath through her chest and looks up at him, and there is so much regret in her shimmering, gray eyes, his breath sticks in his throat. “And then there was you. From the first time you opened your eyes, the way you looked at me… You were so…alpha.Resisting my control because you believed I was your… your Fated, I guess.
“I hated you for seeing me as someone weak, and still… sometimes, at night, I would touch myself thinking about you. Even though I knew how painful submitting to you would be. I hated you even more for that. I punished you. I hurt you, worse than any of the others, because I thought that what you wanted when you fought me for control and your body responded to my presence was to hurt me. To take pleasure from holding me down and making me wish for death.”
She clenches her eyes shut and dips her head to press her forehead against his chest. “I didn’t know it could feel like this. I didn’t know that all this time, what you wanted… That it was toworshipme, even when I deserve nothing but your hatred.”
Breathing slowly, he brushes a hand down the length of her hair before resting his cheek at the crown of her head. She feels so solid in his arms, but the bond between them is raw and frayed with uncertainty. Pain.
His pulse still pounds in his temples with the effort of keeping the rage throbbing through his body in check, but through it, sorrow gnaws at his heart. His broken little monster.
“I never saw you as weak,” he says once he’s finally managed to push the fury down far enough that he can do so without risk of causing her more fear. “I hated you for the pain, but my yearning for you wasn’t your weakness. It wasn’t even mine, though I thought it to be. We are Fated, Adelaide. It’s not something I believe—it’sfact, written into my DNA far more deeply than anything you ever managed to do to me in your lab.
“What was done to you…” He sucks in a slow breath to keep his voice calm; even. “You had to harden to survive it. I understand. But you’re not alone anymore, mate. You are not weak, or small. You are not prey, Adelaide. You are not someone to be used. Andno onewill treat you like it again.No one.You aremine.”
She gasps softly against his chest at his words, and he holds her tighter as she shivers.
“We’re Fated,” he repeats. “Nothing will break that. Not what was done to you; not what you did to me as a result. What matters is what comes next.”
“It’ can’t be that simple,” she breathes. “It can’t. What I’ve done… There is no undoing that. There’s no forgiving it.”
Gently he reaches for her chin, tugging her face up to capture her red-rimmed eyes. “There is no forgiving what was done toyou.You can atone for the rest however you wish, but I am telling you—it doesn’t matter. Not anymore.”
She shakes her head, opens her mouth to deny the undeniable, but before she can voice her protest, a small noise from her living room draws the entirety of his focus.
Someone’s in the apartment with them.
TEN
JACOB
“Jacob—”
He places his fingers on her lips, silencing her, then jerks his head toward the bedroom door. Her eyes go wide.
The feel of her panic rushing through their bond only hones his focus. The last time someone broke into her home, she was alone. She’s not this time, and whoever this is? They’re going to regret targeting his mate.
Moving fast and smooth, he slips out of bed, crosses the floor, and is out the door.
He senses them immediately. Two males. One beta, one alpha. The scent of metal and the faintest trace of gunpowder suggest they’re armed. They move quietly from their entry point by one of the windows—so quietly, he knows they’re professional.
It won’t help them.
He’s through the hallway and into the living room faster than any human would notice before it’s much too late, his foot connecting with the beta with the gun’s stomach the same second he realizes he knows the man.
Then the alpha’s hand closes around his bicep, his vise-like grip betraying more than human strength. “We’re not here to hurt you, brother. Nor the girl.”
Crouched on the floor, Officer Welsh harks violently, sick spewing over the lacquered wood floors as he clutches his gut—neutralized for the time being.
Jacob turns to the alpha, eyes narrowing. “You have three seconds to explain why you’re here. If I don’t like what I hear, you die.”
The alpha sighs. “The guy with the plan’s currently busy puking his guts out, so we’ll need a little more time than that. If you and me start going at it again, no one wins.”
