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Even now, the cursed bond between us makes it impossible to hide just how broken I still am.
I grit my teeth and force down the sensation of his weight on top of me, and the memory of how it felt like I would shatter into nothingness if he didn’t hold me tighter. Touch me deeper.
I head to the closet to get some clean clothes, but despite my best attempts at ignoring the barbed wire burrowing angrily behind my ribs with every step I take away from the closed bathroom door, I stop a few feet short.
This cannot be normal.My parents manage to be apart when my dad goes to work, so why does it feel like this when I’m more than a few yards frommyma—from AX2?
I could force myself the last few steps to the closet, but I don’t.
When my mother finds me a few moments later, I’m sulking in the occasional chair I’ve dragged over to the bathroom door from its usual place by the window.
“Good morning, sweetheart.” Her tone is chipper, but her lips tremble as she takes in the yellowing bruises on my arms and legs. “I brought your mate some of Dad’s old clothes. They might be a bit tight, but they’ll do while I get his uniform washed.”
I reflexively accept the pile of fabric she places in my arms: jeans, socks, a tank top, and a red flannel shirt, all pieces I vaguely remember my dad wearing on the few relaxed weekends he allowed himself back when I was still living at home. At least she’s had the good grace not to include any of his underwear.
I blink at the flannel as a foggy image of AX2 lounging on the couch with a newspaper open attempts to form in my mind’s eye. It’s too absurd to solidify
“Thanks, Mom.” I give her a weak smile.
She watches me for a beat, then sighs and sinks down on the armrest by my side. Her soft hands smooth my still damp hair. “You should be in there with him, Addie.”
A flush bites my cheeks at the implication. “No.”
She smiles at my tone, but there’s empathy in her eyes. “The more physical closeness you allow, the easier you’ll find the transition phase. I know you haven’t had a traditional courting, and I know that you’ve never wanted to be an alpha’s mate, but that doesn’t mean you two can’t find happiness together.”
I pull away from her hands still stroking over my hair.“Happiness?He mated me because I didn’t want to die and I ordered him to. He obeyed only because he is more machine than he is human. There is notransition phaseto be had. All I needed was to survive.”
At that exact moment, I feel a shudder of pleasure from the place my bond is hooked behind my ribs. It warms my blood as it travels the length of my body, centering low in my abdomen. Uninvited memories of AX2’s touch sliding up between my thighs make my cheeks flood with another burst of embarrassment, but the ache in my clit is notmydoing. It’s him. He’s…taking careof himself in the shower, and our connection makes me feel the ghostly echo of it.
My mother cocks her head at me and lets her slim fingers rest on mine for a moment before she pushes back to her feet. “You might be right. Does it matter? Whatever you did to him in that lab of yours, he’s your mate now. When you screamed last night, he was by your side before your dad and I could so much as make it out of bed.
“Besides, orders or not—I will forever be grateful to him that he brought me back my daughter.” She gives me a sad little smile and heads for the door. “Breakfast is ready, once you’re both dressed. Your dad got a call early this morning to bring you in for a debriefing, but take whatever time together you need. I’ll be damned if I see the people who allowed my daughter to get kidnapped interrupt her bonding phase with her new mate.”
She’s out the door before I can repeat that there’s nobonding phaseto be had.
I groan and scrub both hands over my face as it dawns on me that if they heard me screaming last night, and she knows AX2 wasby my side,she must’ve come to check on me as well, but have decided I was already in safe hands.
Hopefully she didn’t stay long enough to see how, exactly, the alpha took care of me.
The exact moment I recall how my body ached for him, my bondshiversand wetness dampens my sex. Uninvited images of his rugged face twisting with pleasure flicker before my mind’s eye as a muted groan makes it through the closed bathroom door. He’s found his climax.
I jerk to my feet, flushed and embarrassed andachingall at the same time, but when I try to flee to the other side of the room to distract myself, my bond flares angrily and my steps falter.
Dammit!I scrub my hands over my face again and try to think of anything but the heat in my core. I want to be angry—it’s so much safer than this horrible sensation of teetering on the edge of that dark place my mind seems about to slip into whenever I am reminded of the bunker and what was done to me while I was there. The throb between my thighs in response to his pleasure brings an echo of raw terror—and a fresh reminder that I can’t function without him. Only when he’s wrapped around me like he was last night does the constant, sucking undertow of darkness relinquish its grasp.
But try as I might, I can’t find it in me to be angry that he needs relief. Not when he’s clearly being as discreet as he can, and not when I can still recall how I writhed and begged him formore.He could have clamped a hand to my mouth and had me like he was clearly desperate to, and he didn’t.
That realization makes me slowly lower my hands from my face. For all intents and purposes, AX2 is nothing but a fusion of technology and biology. There was no reason for him to hold himself back—not when every instinct in the primitive parts of his brain would have been firing to mount the female offering herself to him. I don’t know of any fully human alpha who would have.
And yet…
I flush as I remember how he promised me he wouldn’t penetrate me—and how part of me desperately wanted him to.
He must have realized I would punish him severely afterward. One of the hallmarks of the AX model is how their programing wires in with parts of their brain to allow them to predict consequences.
Yes. That’ll be the explanation.
After all, he can’t feel empathy.
