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I am about to push open the heavy wooden door when it opens by itself. “Mr. Bomley,” Abraham greets me, looking as awake at three in the morning as if it were the middle of the afternoon. “Was the hunt good tonight?”
Was I really the hunter tonight?
I’m having my doubts.
I pause for a second on the doorstep and give him a small fake smile out of habit. Disregarding my surroundings, I walk through the darkness as he walks away down a small hallway.
I’m at the first step of the marble staircase when a tired voice calls out to me, “You’re home early.”
I sigh, closing my eyes. I finally walk to the large living room behind me and approach the velvet chair. Here again, no lamps are lit. A fire crackles in the huge fireplace, lighting the room somewhat.
I say nothing, waiting and praying that time will pass more quickly.
The sound of crystal tinkling once again as a frail hand tries to pour another glass of whiskey. It shakes, and I hold back a curse as I catch the glass before it explodes on the floor.
When I set it back down on the small wooden table by the chair, thin fingers circle my wrist. I hold back from recoiling but clench my jaw. The contact burns me so badly that a lump forms almost instantly in the hollow of my throat.
“My boy, my beautiful boy…”
I inhale and resign myself to raise my head. My eyes meet those of my mother, so similar to mine, but also so empty. She stares at me but doesn’t really look at me.
Her attention is focused far away, in a place that only she has access to.
“You should stop drinking so much,” I whisper firmly.
A small smile springs to her lips before fading away as her mind goes back to the shadows that cling to her. She is dead from the inside, completely eaten away by darkness. I notice the nightgown she’s wearing is inside out, but she doesn’t seem to care.
She leans towards me, trying to put her index finger on my arm. I gently shift to avoid her touch.
“You know, you remind me of your father sometimes. I see him in you.”
“Stop talking about him,” I command.
His memory is painful enough as it is. I loved him. He raised me in the middle of this jungle. But I don’t want to talk about him anymore. I put both my hands on the armrests of the chair and stare her straight in the eye.
“He’s dead. He’s not coming back.”
Her mouth trembles, so I don’t finish my sentence but repeat it to myself mentally, over and over.
You killed him. You killed him and he’s not coming back. Not ever.
I should scream these harsh words because they reflect reality. She took him away from me. But I can’t say them.
“Damn it,” I spit out, clenching my fists.
I have to get out of this room right now. I don’t want to see her tears. I don’t want to see the madness dancing in her eyes again.
Her voice starts again behind me as I walk away, “The music was too loud tonight.”
Just leave me alone!
“I’ll be careful next time,” I murmur.
“I hope so, otherwise Debbie won’t be able to study anymore. She works hard, you know? You mustn’t distract your little sister from her studies, she needs peace and quiet to pass her year.”
My breath stops as my heart misses a beat. I clench my jaw so hard I can almost hear my teeth grind. I rest my fingers against the door, almost slapping myself as I realize I need support.
She starts talking again as if her words aren’t breaking my bones one by one. “Could you stop by her room and ask her to come say goodnight? She hasn’t come downstairs, and I don’t like it.”
