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What was he smoking that any of this made sense?
“She’s a goddamned lesbian. She dates women!” He’d lost his fucking marbles and I was done being nice. “This is not a surprise to you.”
But it was incredibly hard to stay angry at someone who was this stupid…and Payton’s giggles were not helping me stay focused either.
“She’s a strong woman, not some weakling who hides and blushes. Do you know how many people told me about him blushing every time he saw you?” He glared at me like he thought I was the idiot. “A real man needs a strong woman. He’ll never throw a frying pan at you. That’s not love.”
This whole place had lost their minds.
Payton seemed to think so too, and he whispered softly against my back. “God, he did that to himself deliberately?”
Evidently.
“Why would I want to argue with someone constantly? That’s the dumbest thing you’ve ever said. I nearly moved out in high school because you two lunatics were yelling so much.” Amanda’s grandfather had offered to call CPS for me but I’d decided to tough it out.
It probably hadn’t been the best decision but I wasn’t sure going into the system would’ve been a better one. In their own ways, they seemed to love me but they’d never been able to see past their problems to show it to me.
Moving out in college had made things better, I had to admit that, but clearly we had a lot we should’ve worked through already.
This idiot’s insanity, for one.
He must’ve been startled or heard something in my voice because he stopped yelling and blinked as he actually listened to me for the first time.
“Why in the hell would I want to recreate that insanity in my own life?” He honestly thought I’d want that level of crazy in my own personal relationship? “I made it clear to you in high school that wasn’t the kind of life I wanted.”
It’d been the one and only time I’d tried explaining the life I did want.
To say it hadn’t gone over well would’ve been an understatement.
He started to suck in a breath, probably to go back to the same fucking drama over and over, but I cut him off. “I’m not straight. I’m not going to marry someone who screams at me all the time and makes everything a battle of wills.”
They hadn’t been able to agree on anything in my entire life and he thought that was what I should want too?
Hell, that wasn’t even a good description of a healthy vanilla relationship.
“I’m not going to apologize for any of that.” Shaking my head, I gestured toward the elevator, done with the fighting and screaming. “Get out of my building or I’ll call the cops. Find someone to work the shift tomorrow. I’m done. When you can think rationally and have figured out how to apologize to my partner, then we’ll talk.”
Payton moved in tandem with me as I stepped back from the door, shutting it quietly but firmly. The click of the lock was the loudest sound in the room as I let out a breath and he went back to rubbing my back.
We both stayed there silently for several long moments until I heard the ding of the elevator opening. When I was sure my father was gone, I turned around and leaned against the door, pulling Payton against me. “That was…”
I didn’t have the words but Payton nodded as he curled into my chest, rubbing his cheek against me as I ran my hand over his head. “I agree.”
Neither of us moved for a long time. I was content to simply hold him and I was pretty sure he was doing his best to get his heart rate under control because he was taking quiet, deep breaths as his heart pounded so hard I could feel it thump.
He was so cute when he was trying to be subtle.
After a while, he seemed genuinely more relaxed and stroked my chest. “This isn’t the right time but I thought I’d point out the fact that at least he didn’t use any slurs? I mean, he thinks I’m a wuss too, I understand that, but that seems to be more because he doesn’t like subs than it being about me having a dick too.”
“I…” I paused, taking a breath and really thinking about what he’d said. “You’re right. Unless you consider hussy a dig against you being gay.”
He giggled, hiding against my chest until he could get his laughter under control. “I’ve never been called a hussy before.”
“That’s because we’re in the wrong century for that to be a good insult.” Shaking my head, I sighed. “He likes old westerns. It was probably the first word that came to mind.”
Payton’s chest jerked in silent laughter. When he managed to breathe again, he couldn’t resist poking at the insanity of the situation. “Side piece? Adulteress?”
