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I’ve come to the realization that Carter has ruined me for other men. Not that I’ve truly tried yet, but I just don’t feel that tingling sensation when I’m around sexy men like I used to. I mean, I’m happy to look, but when it comes to getting down and dirty . . . there’s only one big dick I want in and around my business.

And fuck. I miss that dick. It was a good dick. If there’s one thing Carter Waters knew how to do just right—it’s a good fuck. He could get me off in ways no one ever could. Hell, not even I could get myself off like he did.

Maybe I just need to have fun and not think about my future, maybe see how things play out. It’s not like I’m going to jump straight back into another relationship. I just want someone there to distract me. Someone to keep me busy.

It’s been a week since that first date with Xavier and that awful run-in with Carter. Xavier has since gotten used to just showing up at my apartment. At first, I thought it was a bit much and super intrusive, but he bought a bottle of wine and dinner, so I let him in.

Since then, the clinger barely leaves.

A knock sounds at my door, and I let out a heavy sigh, really not in the mood to do that again tonight, but if I don’t, I’m going to fall down the rabbit hole, and that’s never pretty. Getting up off my couch, I hit pause on the latest episode of The Kardashians and make my way across my small apartment. I open the door and, surprise, surprise, it’s Xavier standing out in the hallway. I groan to myself. It would be nice to just have a night to myself, but then I know that if he wasn’t here, I’d start missing someone else.

Why does heartbreak have to be so damn hard?

Xavier comes in and makes himself at home. He dumps a bag of food on the counter knowing that the only thing in my fridge is alcoholic and comes in a very pretty bottle, which honestly, can afford to be a little bigger.

“How was your day?” he asks as he finds my plates and starts dishing up the food.

“Ehh,” I tell him with a shrug, the aroma of Thai food making my stomach grumble. “The kids were a bit much. I had to use my cranky voice like . . . four times.”

“Shit, I’m sorry. That sucks.”

“Yeah, it’s fine. They usually get a bit rough by the end of the week, it’s nothing I’m not used to,” I tell him, walking around the kitchen to find a couple of wine glasses. “They’ll be their usual perfect selves come Monday, and if they’re not, I’ll just give them a little quiet reading and then they generally settle down.”

“Seems like you know all the tricks of the trade,” he says as if he truly knows me.

I give him a forced smile as I get cozy on my couch and pull a blanket over my legs. Xavier comes and hands me a plate before taking the spot beside me, thankfully not trying to share my blanket. “Hope you like Thai,” he says.

“Who doesn’t?” I reply as I dive straight into my dinner, not having realized just how hungry I was.

Hitting play on The Kardashians, I quickly pick up where I left off, feeling slightly awkward with Xavier so close beside me. But when he starts talking in the middle of my show, that awkwardness quickly morphs into a blatant irritation, especially considering my need to be polite and answer all of his questions.

I give up and let the show play, promising myself that I’ll re-watch it when he eventually leaves, but if this week has taught me anything, he’s in for the long haul. I mean, I could probably kick the guy out, but he brought dinner and that just seems rude.

I wonder if Byron from the car accident is the type to linger. I bet he’s a bit of a clinger too, but nobody could be as bad as Xavier.

After a long week and a whole bottle of wine, it’s not long before the yawns start to kick in and I find myself falling asleep on the couch.

The noise coming from the TV begins fading into my unconsciousness, and there’s no telling how much time has passed before I feel a pair of strong arms slipping around my body. I’m jostled on the couch and scooted across before a body moves in behind me, and I realize Xavier is trying to force a cuddle, but my sleep deepens, and not a moment later, the world falls away.

Chapter 10

CARTER

“Come on, buddy,” I beg with desperation as I look down at my limp dick, willing him to play along just for tonight. “You can do it.”