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I tensed and jerked away from him, scrambling back to the opposite edge of the couch.
“Kiera, it’s me,” he said, his voice cautious.
“I can’t do it,” I cried, shaking my head as tears continue to stream down my face. “I’m not going to be able to make it through the next few days.”
“You will,” he assured me. “I’ll help you through it, no matter what it takes.”
“You can’t. I can’t. It’s too much,” I told him.
Johnny shifted his body closer to mine on the couch, reached out for my hand, and promised, “We’ll do it together.”
I yanked my hand away, standing up, and wondering if it was possible to flee somewhere.
But there was nowhere to go.
Thea and Colt were staying only two doors away, but they were still out having a great time together as a married couple with the rest of our friends, who were all in love.
I was here.
I was alone with the man I’d given my whole heart to, the man who had made me the happiest woman in the world for so many years, and I felt like I couldn’t breathe.
“We won’t,” I shouted. “We won’t do it together, because we’renottogether. It’s over, Johnny. Don’t you know that? Don’t you remember what’s happening when we leave here?”
His voice was thick with emotion when he rasped, “I remember.”
“Good. You need to remember it, because I think this has become nothing but a game for you.”
“Kiera, it’s not like that. I—”
“No!” I shouted, cutting him off. “No, I can’t do this. You need to stop. I’mbeggingyou to stop. Stop touching me like you did when you made me fall in love with you. Stop being sweet like you were when we were happy. Stop pretending when nobody is looking that there’s anything good left between us, Johnny.”
I was pacing the room, throwing my arms out to the side as each demand flew past my lips, and Johnny looked on in horror.
Though I hadn’t stopped moving, he slowly stood from the couch and said, “I wanted to make it better—”
“You’re making it worse,” I scolded him. “You’re touching me when you don’t need to be touching me. It feels like every time you get the chance, you’re throwing all that we lost, all thatIlost back in my face.”
“That’s not what I’m—”
“Don’t tell me what I feel,” I demanded. “I don’t care what you are trying to do to make yourself feel better about this. It’s not your heart that’s absolutely shattered, devastated over the decision you made. It’s not you who’s feeling regret. It’s not you who’s spent the last several days getting glimpses of the man you fell in love with, a harsh reminder of what you’ll never have again.”
“No, Kiera, I haven’t,” he fired back, his tone suddenly angry. “I’ve spent the last several days furious with myself for letting us get here. I’ve been trying to figure out how to fix it, because I don’t know how I’ll ever live without you when we leave here.”
I jerked back, partially at the shocking sound of his voice but mostly at the words he said. But in my state, I couldn’t exactly process them the way I might have if I was feeling rational.
Instead, I offered, “You’ll do it just like you were doing it for the last six months.”
“I don’t want—”
“I don’t care what you want,” I told him. “I’ve spent years of my life caring about what you wanted, getting back the same from you, and thinking I was the luckiest woman in the world. And then you ripped it all away from me. You took you away from me. I gave all I had to give, and it left me with nothing.”
Johnny stared at me, something that looked a lot like hurt donning his expression. He said nothing.
And his silence made something click inside me.
It was as though he’d made it official.
We were over, and there was nothing left to fight for.
