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Am I dead already?
The first thing I do when I roll out of bed is run for the bathroom and dry heave into the toilet.
What the fuck have I gotten us into?I ask myself as I feed Abel his breakfast.
As if my mood is affecting him, Abel fusses and only eats a few bites. Preferring to cling to me instead.
I consider taking him to the park to get some fresh air, but the thought of stepping outside my front door turns me into a nervous wreck.
What if doing errands makes it looks like I’m making a run for it?
All day, I find myself wandering over to my front window and peeking out my blinds. Unable to shake the feeling that my house is being watched.
I’m so damn paranoid I swear I canfeeleyes on me.
I just don’t know who is watching…
By the time I need to drop Abel off with the sitter and get ready for work, I’m a complete fucking basket case.
“You okay, honey?” Sonya asks me, her eyes narrowed in concern as I linger on her doorstep, squeezing Abel and breathing in his scent.
Is this the last time I’ll see him?
Am I making a mistake?
Getting sick of my shit, Abel tries to wiggle out of my arms, reaching for Sonya to save him.
Fighting back the urge to cry, I give him a kiss on top of his head, smelling his baby shampoo, and hand him over.
“Yeah,” I say then swallow the huge lump in my throat.
Happy to be free of me, Abel latches onto Sonya’s side and starts babbling.
Most likely telling her about his boring, shitty day.
Sonya smiles at him and bounces him a little, but when she looks back at me, her brows knit together in concern. “You sure?”
I quickly nod my head.
The last thing I want to do is drag her into my mess.
She doesn’t deserve it, especially when she’s pretty much saved my ass.
I had no idea what I was going to do when I first moved in. Who I could trust Abel with while I went to work. But that first night in our new place, she came knocking on my door with a plate of cookies to welcome me to the neighborhood.
Abel took an immediate liking to her, and she offered to watch him whenever I need it.
Apparently it’s a thing around here.
There are a lot of single moms in this community, working hard to make new lives for themselves.
And, as Sonya told me when I expressed my gratitude, it takes a village.
We look out for each other and help each other when we can.
“I didn’t sleep well,” I explain and glance over my shoulder. “Had a rough night at work last night, so I’m not looking forward to tonight.”
“Maybe you should take the night off?”
