At first, I wasn’t sure what he meant, but then I understood that I still grasped onto the solid world as an anchor. I had no idea how to give that up. Fear gripped me. If I let go, how would it change me? Could I really do this?
“I’ve got you, Ember,” Nic whispered. “Let go. It’ll be all right.”
I couldn’t do it. That solidness was everything I knew and understood about the world.
“Your highness, we’ll have to leave her, and we must go,” Robby said.
Fuck you, Robby, I thought, and let the shadows take me.
Panic trailed icy fingers through me, curling into my gut and making my insides feel liquid—except I didn’t have insides. Or outsides. I no longer existed except as an expanding ball of panic in the cold nothing. Had I screwed up? Was I dead?
I was totally dead.
I’ve got you. Nic’s voice echoed around me.
Was he dead, too?
The scattered wisps of shadows that felt most connected to me, pulled together and suddenly sight, weight, and all my other senses returned.
I reeled, body freaking the fuck out as it tried to adapt. Arms wrapped around my stomach and kept me from hitting the floor. I heaved once, but though my body cramped like I wanted to puke, I managed to keep the contents of my stomach down.
“Holy shit, Ember,” Ash said. “You totally swirled into some sort of shadowy mist like shadow boy does. That was badass.”
“Ohmygod.” With Nic’s help, I sank to my knees and planted my palms on the floor.
“Ember, maybe you should practice a few times before you try to travel through the shadows.” Nic rubbed my back.
Geraint came to his knees next to me and touched my shoulder.
“Maybe,” I reluctantly agreed. I was in no condition to help Nic like this.
“Don’t be disappointed,” Nic said. “For someone not born to the power, you did very well. It’s disorientating to my regular senses every time I do it. I’m simply used to the sensation.”
“Your regular senses?”
“Sight, smell, my sense of where I am in relation to the world,” he explained.
“Oh, yeah, my equilibrium is all screwed up.” The world was swimming around me.
“You have to learn to navigate and see with the shadows. I should have insisted you get comfortable looking through the shadows before you tried to join with them.” He squeezed my shoulder.
“Right. Okay. At least I did it. You won’t be able to fight the clown if you’re having to deal with me puking my guts out, though, so I guess I’ll have to stay here. Robby, you have your phone, right?”
“Yes, princess.”
“Do me a favor and tell me where you’re at, so if anything goes wrong, we have a point to search.” I hated to think like that, but this was a clown we were talking about.
“I will,” the jester assured me.
Nic kissed my forehead before straightening. “We will be back soon,” he promised.
“I’ll hold you to that.” I almost changed my mind, wanting to go with Nic and make sure he stayed safe, but a wave of nausea washed through me. Yeah, there was no way.
Nic and Robby vanished.
“So, who’s hungry?” Ash clapped her hands together.
I flipped her off.