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“Taken?” Kai interrupts, and I want to tell him, but I need to get this out first.
“I’ll explain that, but let me finish. Please.” I look at him and watch as he nods.
“Things changed after that. The harder I pushed towards getting what I wanted, the further out of reach it seemed. And along the way, I began picking up their traits. I wanted to be like them, so I did what they did. Only that didn’t work either. I’m not sure I’d know who I was without them around me.”
“That’s not true.” He wraps his arm around me and pulls me into him. “You’re incredibly determined. Stubborn. Single-minded.”
“Yes, thank you,” I joke, but I can’t smile.
“But you’re also vulnerable, lonely. I see it, and it does something to me. Enough to make me take the biggest fucking risk by seeing you against my better judgment.”
“Do you regret that now? After what’s happened?” I wait for his answer, but it doesn’t come quickly.
“I need to know that I’m not making the wrong choice here, Mariana. I need you to tell me you understand that this, between us, is going to be hard for both of us. You’re fighting. I’m fighting. As long as we’re not fighting each other.”
“You’re the last person I want to fight, Kai. I promise you that. And you’re the one person I want to be with right now. I hope you don’t think I’m the wrong choice, but after having no choice for so much of my life, you need to decide about me on your own.”
I rest my head on his shoulder and sigh.
It’s not time for love. Not yet, anyway.
“Mer?”
“Yeah?”
“Do you want to sleep under the stars or ride until we find a motel?”
“As long as that sleeping bag will keep us warm, I say it’s your choice.”
CHAPTER TWENTY - EIGHT
KAI
The ride back is slow and easy, considering the speed we rode out of San Antonio yesterday. Anger and aggression might have pushed me away from this skyline we’re heading back to, but time under the stars with her relaxed me back to calm again.
I pull up outside Viper’s and let her get off the bike, revving quietly once she has done so I can get it safe around back. By the time I’m back out she’s leaning on a wall waiting for me to tell her where we’re going from here. I don’t know where that is, but I’m damn sure it needs to involve just us two for a while longer.
“You think we can just have just one more night without too much bullshit going down?” She looks at me and smiles, a weary giggle coming after it. I reach forward for her cheek and stroke it with my thumb. “Just some more of you and me and we don’t talk about your family, yeah?”
“Okay.”
“Yeah? ‘Cause I’m not down with anything but us at the moment.”
Another smile. “I’m okay with that. Very okay with that. What are we doing?”
I start walking us along the sidewalk, gripping her hand in mine so we can act like a couple rather than the constant hassle that seems to be her life. And mine. But as for what we’re doing, no idea.
End up looking along the avenue for inspiration. Nothing hits, but there’s a coffee shop that draws my attention. “How about a coffee?”
“Coffee?”
“Yeah, just a real honest coffee where we chat and pretend that we’re just a couple without everything else around us interfering. Past. Present. Future.”
She nods and we head on over the street, with me pulling her along behind me and waving traffic down. A few minutes later and we’re sitting at a small quiet table in the window, just watching the world go by and waiting for our coffees. Feels odd as fuck for a few beats, and I end up chuckling about that in the silence between us.
“And you’re laughing because?” she asks.
“This. Feels like it’s not meant for us.”
