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Then, I hear him force the door open. His footsteps are heavy on the floor of the living room. Within seconds, he’s pushing the door of my bedroom open.
I look up at him. His hair is tousled like he just got out of bed, but there’s a stiff determination in his eyes. He marches up to me and sweeps me into his arms.
“It’s going to be alright,” he says, brushing his lips against my forehead. I collapse into his arms, feeling less in despair than before. I knowthe situation is hopeless, but Bran saying that almost makes me believe him.
He strides out of the bedroom and downstairs, into the car. He places me gingerly in the passenger seat before going to the driver’s seat. His face is contorted as he drives to the hospital.
I hold on to my abdomen, but I’m unable to stop myself from staring at Bran.
What will happen if Ilose the baby? She is the only reason Bran and I managed to find common ground. And over the past few weeks, having Bran around me while I went through the motions of pregnancy was…comfortable. Nice.
Losing the baby means losing him as well. And even though I know it should barely make a difference because he is only around for the baby, it still stings.
I blink back tears and try to hold myself up against the surge of sadness that overwhelms me.
There’s no use feeling sad about Bran. That battle was finished a long time ago.
While we are in the car, Bran calls Dr. Ross’s emergency line. When he pulls up to the hospital, he sprints out of the car, hoists me in his arms again, and breaks into a run. I hold on tightly to him, my eyes shut against the panic threatening to invade me.
I know I shouldbe in the hospital right now, but a part of me does notwant to be. This is where the doctors will tell me if my baby is dead or alive. And I would rather die right here than hear I miscarried.
Everything happens all at once; a team of nurses wrestling me from Bran’s arms into a stretcher, wheeling me into an empty ward with Bran right by my side, Dr. Ross appearing from nowhere with a tiny, reassuring smile, pulling on gloves while instructing the nurses to pull the screen around and separate me from Bran. I close my eyes and fill my head with a blank, painless buzzing, forcing myself not to think about the ultrasound wand in me.
It feels like hours before I hear Dr. Ross start to dispatch the nurses and remove her gloves. I hear the screen being removed, and when I open my eyes, I see Bran staring at me, his eyes holding an intensity I’ve never seen before.
“So, that was a little scare, huh?” Dr. Ross says, grinning at both of us. “But we just checked. Baby’s heartbeat is strong, and your cervix is closed. You will be fine.”
I stare at her, unable to believe what she just said. I’d been mentally preparing to hear her say theoppositeof that, and now…
“What?” I ask, barely believing, needing her to repeat it one more time for me to be sure.
“Don’t worry about it,” Dr. Ross says, waving her hand and dismissing the most traumatic moment of my life. “A lot of women experience bleeding during the first three months of pregnancy. This is quite normal. And it will probably never happen this badly again.”
Tears sting my eyes as the despair dissipates. Bran drapes his arm around my shoulder, and I snuggle into him, sharing another intimate moment of joy. Somehow, what I’m experiencing feels even better than our first ultrasound appointment. The fact that I almost lost her and then didn’t, makes me want to leap with joy.
Bran asks Dr. Ross a few more questions. Finally, the nurses wheel me back to Bran’s car, and Bran assists me with getting into the passenger seat. He goes around the car, and within seconds, we’re heading back to my apartment.
“Wow,” I say. It’s only been a few minutes since I found out our baby is okay, but everything is already starting to seem like a bad dream. “I’m going to be late for work.”
Bran nods, his lips pursed in a thin line, a vein on his forehead throbbing. He looks straight ahead at the street.
An unusual feeling of fondness sweeps me as I look at him, and for an even odder reason, I don’t dismiss it immediately. Instead, I lean over and gently touch his elbow.
“We’re going to be fine,” I tell him, knowing that he probably hasn’t let it sink in yet. “The baby’s perfect.”
“Yes,” he says, his jaw clenched. He does not spare me even a glance. “But if I didn’t get there fast enough, if there was too much traffic…anything could have happened to the baby…or you…”
He lapses into silence, and I withdraw my hand, discomfort burning into me. It does not skip my attention that he seems to be worried about me.
Which is literally impossible.
The only reason Bran and I are tolerating each other’s presence is because we’re going to have a baby together. Nothing else. I can’t let myself start believing that he cares about me more than he would any random woman who is the mother of his child.
We pull up in front of my apartment. Bran’s knuckles are white on the steering wheel. He looks over at me for the first time since the drive began.
“I’m coming up,” he says simply. It’s not a request.
He gingerly leads me up the stairs and back to my apartment.
