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“You sure are grumpy when you wake up in the morning.”
Alex chuckled. “That’s what Mike always used to—never mind.”
“You can talk about them, you know,” Elizabeth said gently. “It may help.”
Alex chewed her lip for a moment. Elizabeth decided to wait her out, perching on the edge of the bed.
“Mike always said I was like a grizzly coming out of hibernation when I woke up,” Alex said eventually. “He had a running joke that one day he was going to get a ‘waking pole’ for me and just poke me with the end of it when it was time to wake up.”
Elizabeth chuckled at that. “He sounds like he knew you well.”
“He did. We all did. We were family back there. And then… Well, you know what happened. They’re all gone.”
“The best parts of them live on in you,” Elizabeth said quietly. “You may not see it, but when people die, they leave a mark on those who love them. You are forever changed for having loved them, and they live on through you.”
“It’s not enough,” Alex snapped. “All those platitudes saying that they live forever in the hearts of those who love them…It’s not enough! They’re dead and gone, why can’t you understand that?”
Elizabeth sighed. She had meant to comfort Alex, and she had only ended up making things worse. “I’m sorry. You’re right. It’s not enough. It’s not fair that they’re gone. They should be home with their families right now.”
“I should have been the one who died,” Alex said softly. “Any one of them would have done better had they survived. They would have found a way to move on and thrive, to live for all of us, and yet what have I done? I’ve been nothing but a burden to my brother. I’ve barely been surviving, let alone living.”
“Well, think of this as your new start, then. Getting your career as a bodyguard on track can be your first step to shaping your life into what you want it to be. You need time to heal, Alex. Have you considered seeing someone?”
“I have. Once I get my first paycheck, I’m going to start looking for a therapist.”
“That’s a really good idea, Alex. Was there anything else you wanted to talk about?”
Alex shook her head.
“If you ever want to talk about your unit, you can come to me. I’d love to hear stories about them. We can’t bring them back to life, but we can keep their memories alive through our memories of them.”
Alex took a deep breath. “I like that. I’d… I’d like to talk about them a bit more sometime. But for now, let’s look at your schedule for the day.”
“Well, I’ve been thinking… it wouldn’t kill me to do a few online appearances.”
“And it might literally kill you not to,” Alex agreed. “I’m glad to see you’re coming around. Do you have someone who can organize things for you while James is in the hospital?”
“Ruth can pick up some of the slack, I’m sure. She was my assistant before James, you know.”
“I didn’t realize. That’s quite a big step, from assistant to campaign manager.”
“She earned it. I’ve offered James a promotion as well, you know. He turned me down.”
“Why?”
“He said he likes it where he is. A promotion would involve more direct politics, and he insists he doesn’t have the personality for that.”
Alex laughed. “He’s right there.”
Elizabeth certainly wasn’t complaining. She loved having James as her assistant. When the opportunity for a promotion had come up, she had offered it to him because he deserved it, but she had been secretly glad when he turned it down. He was an excellent assistant and replacing him with someone as good would be near impossible.
Elizabeth and Alex spent a few hours going over her schedule, and then Elizabeth spent several more hours making phone calls, arranging things so that she could do online appearances. While she wrangled and cajoled various people into cooperating with her new strategy, Alex patrolled the property and made some phone calls of her own about upgrading security around the house.
Around mid-afternoon, Elizabeth’s stomach loudly informed her that she’d forgotten to have lunch. Shoot. James usually reminded her to eat when she got so engrossed in a task that everything else faded away.
“Alex, we forgot lunch.”
“We did.” Alex didn’t sound at all surprised.
